The Promise
by Mayonaka no Ame
Summary: -ABANDONED 2003- It is prophesied that all sorceresses eventually give into their lust for power and Squall begins to doubt whether Rinoa will be any different. He now faces a grueling decision: protect her...or let her go?
1. The Beginning Of My End

*The one and only disclaimer* I do not own Final Fantasy VIII and I did not make up the characters, Squaresoft did and to them I am eternally grateful  
  
Author's Note(This is my continuation of what happened after ff8 ended. I warn you that I am a hopeless romantic and a Squinoa fan, so I don't recommend this story for those readers who are uncomfortable with the yucky love stuff, cause I thrive upon it!...well I cant reveal the plot to this story, mostly cause I'm doing this on the spur of the moment, but also because I don't wanna give away what's gonna happen. Just remember, this is gonna be a over-dramatic sappy love story)  
  
*just so you know I just wrote the prologue, and there's more to come but I didn't get to finish since im so crazy with work. Ill update every three days or so. This is just to give you a taste of how corny I am  
  
(Just so you know, this is by detailed version of "the balcony" scene)  
  
~*Chapter 1*~  
  
The Beginning Of My End  
  
`I'll be there when the world stops turning.  
  
I'll be there when the storm is through.  
  
In the end I want to be standing at the beginning...with you.'  
  
-Donna Lewis  
  
It's been a week since the battle finally came to an end...a week in which the entire world enthusiastically celebrated SeeD's victory over the Sorceress Ultimecia. The sound of fireworks could be heard booming from even the most remote corners of the earth, every man woman and child cheered and yelled until their voices grew hoarse, and the wine flowed like a river. There was no longer a threat to anyone's happiness and the Earth became one big, never-ending party.  
  
But on the balcony of the airborne Balamb Garden, despite the lively celebration that was taking place inside, things were quiet. The sky appeared as an eternal blanket of stars in the center of which was a luscious full moon, reflecting its soft light on the infinite ocean's surface.  
  
It was a beautiful night. And Rinoa Heartily could not help but admire the romantic setting as she leaned on the balcony's ledge, staring into to abyss of space.  
  
*It's beautiful* she thought, as yet another shooting star streaked across the sky, the second one she'd seen in one night. Remembering that it was custom to make a wish, Rinoa closed her eyes and tried to think of the thing she wanted most in the world, furrowing her brow in concentration. It was seconds before her mind, as if on default, immediately registered a name in her head...Squall...her eyes quickly snapped open, as the cautiously scanned her surroundings, hoping no on had discovered what she was thinking. Of course, this was impossible. So, with a sigh of relief, Rinoa continued her star gazing, but it wasn't long before her disobedient mind return to him... his eyes...his lips...his touch.  
  
Shaking her head in shame, Rinoa attempt one last time to remove him from her brain. Then, giving up a little too easily, she surrendered to her fantasy. *What am I thinking? * She asked herself in confusion *Me?...WITH SQUALL OF ALL PEOPLE!! Not only is it ridiculous, but its insane?! First of all he's the most obnoxious, self- centered, bone-headed, arrogant man I've ever met! Not to mention closed off and boring...why would any girl (let alone me) ever even think of wanting to be with him in the first place? * Thinking this over, Rinoa could help but answer her own question. *Well he did save my life a couple of times...and yes he's really sweet when he wants to be...and not to mention the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen in my life. *  
  
Rinoa sighed and slumped down on the banister, her head resting on her arms. *It's hopeless * she decided in defeat. She was obsessed...infatuated...fanatical or whatever you call it. It wasn't love that's for sure. Love required more than just a physical attraction and gratefulness of past, heroic deeds ...But most of all, love required more that one person.  
  
*But a girl can dream can't she? * Closing her eyes once more, Rinoa tried to imagine what life would be like with Squall by her side. Of course, in HER fantasy, Squall's attitude had a few adjustments in it. First of all, fantasy Squall was entirely open with his feeling, telling her his secret desires without discretion. Secondly, he was a hopeless romantic, leaving little surprises for her as a constant reminder of how he felt while he was on a mission or something. And thirdly...  
  
He just loved her.  
  
He simply loved her and that's all she really wanted from him. If that were all he was able to give, she would be content. That was her true fantasy.  
  
Rinoa hugged herself closely in consolation of what would never be as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. *Who am I kidding?...Squall?...fall in love with me?...never. *   
  
Just as she was beginning to recuperate from the blow of realization, she heard (more like felt) someone step onto the balcony and walk up next to her. Thinking it was just some random SeeD, and not wanting anyone to see her pain, Rinoa quickly dried her eyes and looked up at the sky once again, trying to ignore her visitor, hoping they would eventually get bored and go away. But whoever it was stayed, seeming to enjoy to awkward tension. Desperately wanting to be left alone, she summoned the courage to face the person with the intention of asking them to leave when...surprise surprise!...it was none other than Squall, the very man with whom she was infatuated with, standing next to her, staring at the stars. Rinoa, shocked above all else, simply followed his eyes to the sky, just in time to see yet another star streak across. *Just like on the night we first met * she realized with a smile, as she turned to face him, pointing her finger to the heavens, the same gesture she  
used at the ball that long time ago to lure him to the dance floor.  
  
Squall smiled, an expression as rare and precious as a ten pound ruby in her eyes. Then, he did something that never in a million years would Rinoa expect or be prepared for. He gently took her hand, pulled her towards him, wrapped his arms around her waist...and kissed her. Not a hot, passionate `I want you here and now' kiss, but a gentle pressing of his lips against her, as if too shy to do anything more. And strangely enough, this felt better to Rinoa than any of the 3 boisterous make-out sessions she's had in her lifetime...times 10!!  
  
Before she knew what she was doing, Rinoa's hands somehow found their way around Squall's neck, encouraging him to deepen the kiss. She didn't know how long they stayed like that. Maybe an hour, maybe two, maybe all night but it didn't matter. As far as she was concerned, this was heaven, and she never wanted to leave.  
  
And so...in one night...with one kiss...the end began. 


	2. Rendezvous

(Author's Note: I know I know...incredibly cheesy right? Well I don't know about you, but I like cheese..lol...im making no sense but whatever. If you like it..then I LOVE YOU MAN!!...if you don't like it, then you belong to the 90% of humans who find the ranting fanfics of a lonely teenage girl incredibly dull. This is my first fic so I'm just experimenting k?)  
  
*Disclaimer* What do ya know? Between now and the last chapter...I still don't own anything!  
  
~*Chapter 2*~  
  
Rendezvous  
  
"The truth is rarely pure and never simple"  
  
-Oscar Wilde  
  
*One year later*  
  
Rinoa waited outside the conference room door picking at her nails in boredom as she waited for the meeting to end. She still had half an hour of her lunch break left before she had to return to class. She had already wasted 20 minutes leaning against this stupid wall in this stupid hallway for him to get out of his stupid meeting. It wasn't easy being a SeeD candidate and to pursue this obsession of hers. Between classes and waiting around like this for short, secret rendezvous she hardly had anytime for herself. `But he's worth it!' she thought happily, smiling behind her hand so as not to give away her thoughts to the other students who passed her by with quizzical looks on their faces.  
  
Finally, she began to hear the scraping of chairs and rustling of papers as Cid, the headmaster, dismissed his elite SeeDs from the tedious task of listening to him for three hours in a row blabbing on and on about pointless things such as the `budget' and `world peace'. Who cared?!  
  
Flattening herself against the wall, Rinoa waited as the first 5 people made their way out of the conference room, all of them oblivious to her presence as they yawned and stretched, grateful to be free of such horrid torture. Selphie, the director of internal affairs, Irvine, weapons export specialist, Quistis, assistant headmistress, Zell, combat instructor and finally, Cid himself, smiling happily as he always does after a productive day of hard work, the only one of them who seemed to have retained his senses. Rinoa forgot about him, and before she had a chance to scurry around the corner or at least position herself to look as though she were just passing by, she was caught.  
  
"Ms. Heartily!" exclaimed headmaster Cid exuberantly, striding over to the young girl. "What brings you here? Shouldn't you be in class?" Rinoa peered over the headmaster's shoulder to see Squall inside, in the midst of packing his notebooks, staring at her in fear, desperately mouthing instructions which she could not decipher.  
  
"I uh..." she muttered, trying to find an excuse, while discreetly stealing glances at Squall who was now doing a charades type dance in a lame attempt to explain to her his plan. Rinoa stifled a laugh as she turned back to Cid. "I came to see you?"  
  
The headmaster peered at her strangely. "Me? Whatever for my dear Miss. Heartily?"  
  
"Please sir," she said, taking a step closer him "call me Rinoa"  
  
In the conference room Squall sighed and rolled his eyes, forgetting that she was the most successful charmer in all of Garden.  
  
"Okay...Rinoa," the headmaster blushed "what is it you wanted to see me for?"  
  
This, she wasn't prepared for, for she had absolutely NO reason to see the headmaster, real or fake. "You know what?" she said with mock embarrassment "I have been here so long I have forgotten...oh well it mustn't of been THAT important if I forgot now is it?"  
  
Cid shrugged "Well if you do remember, you know where ill be" Rinoa nodded, thanked him for allowing such a simple girl to waste his precious time, walked him to the elevator, then instantly returned to the conference room, closing the door behind her. Squall, at the sound of the lock being shut, looked up from his packing to check who his visitor was.  
  
"Oh!" he exclaimed with fake enthusiasm. "Ms. Heartily, what a pleasant surprise"  
  
"Commander Squall, I do hope you do not mind my intrusion." She said, apprehensively making her way closer to him. "But I believe you stole something of mine Mr. Leonhart."  
  
"Really?" he asked, looking concerned as she finally made her way to stand in front of him. "Whatever could it be?"  
  
Blushing, Rinoa gently placed her arms around his neck. "My heart." She answered, leaning in.  
  
"I'm sorry Ms. Heartily, but I don't believe that was on my list of possessions" In reply she kissed him lightly on the lips, wanting to get to the real reason she went through all this trouble to come here.  
  
"I hope you didn't have to wait long" he said, pulling her closer too him.  
  
"It was horrible Squall! Two hours I was out there! You owe me bigtime!"  
  
"Aww...I'm sorry." He kissed her again, this time more deeply. "But you're lying, I saw you through the glass 20 minutes ago" he pointed at the door, on the side of which where two strips of frosted, translucent glass, through which one could faintly see the outlines of people passing back and forth in the hallway.  
  
Rinoa sighed a sigh of being caught. "I'm sorry Commander," she said innocently, removing her arms from his shoulders. "I guess ill just leave you alone then."  
  
"Oh no you don't" he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her into a tight embrace. Rinoa laughed giddily, impressed by his forwardness.  
  
"Then lets stop this chatter and get down to business."  
  
It happened in a flash, and they were off! Lips pressed together in a passionate, almost animal embrace as they groped one another furiously, never knowing when they would get another chance. Hands explored whatever they could reach and tongues danced feverishly with one another. God Rinoa missed this. Since his promotion and the renewal of Galbadian hostilities it was getting harder and harder to sneak around since Cid and the others were constantly by his side. And she didn't dare stop by his dorm for it was on the elite 4^th floor where her presence would surely be reported. And Squall hanging around the lowly student dorms would cause a wave of rumors as well. It was a hopelessly complicated relationship, one that Rinoa would surely fight for. `He's worth it' she reminded herself, smiling as he lifted her onto the table and climbed on top of her, their lips never parting.  
  
Rinoa encouraged him completely. Praying that this time they didn't get interrupted as usual. They had long since passed the time when they were ready to bring their relationship to the next level. But if it took so long to plan a meeting for a couple of kisses, imagine the difficulty in arranging a night together. But, maybe today was the day. True, on top of a conference room table in her school no less was not exactly what she imagined for their first time together, but she knew better to complain. If possible, their kiss became more passionate, more desperate was perhaps the better term as they quickened their pace, grinding against one another, trying to get closer than physically possible.  
  
In their haste to get past the first layer of clothing books, lamps, pens and whatever else happened to be on the table all went crashing to the floor, but they ignored it, too caught up in each other, oblivious to the racket they were making. They didn't even notice the door being unlocked and a figure make her was inside.  
  
"Squall I forgot...oh my." Came a small voice from the doorway. Rinoa and Squall quickly parted and looked up at their visitor. It was Selphie no doubt, with an expression of half shock half amusement playing over her pretty features. The conference room was a mess. Four of the nine chairs that surrounded the table were knocked over, the floor was littered with stationery of all kinds, pieces of paper were gracefully flying across the scene having just been scattered and in the center of it all, limbs entangled, shirts undone and on top of each other no less was the couple themselves. Selphie couldn't help but giggle.  
  
Even though he was pretty sure Selphie already knew about them, Squall still looked around for an excuse for their actions. His gaze fell upon a pen, the only thing remaining on the table. "I found your pen Ms. Heartily" Squall improvised, picking up the writing utensil that lay just above her head while quickly removing himself from her.  
  
"Why thank you Commander Leonhart" she said, trying to catch her breath as she accepted the pen formally and curtsied. Squall stiffly bowed in reply then began to stride away as though their encounter had been nothing more than a casual afternoon tea.  
  
Selphie was still snickering when Squall reached the doorway, shaking her head in disbelief. "And what's so funny?" He asked sternly, still a little pissed that they had been interrupted yet again.  
  
"First of all lover boy, I suggest you wipe off the lipstick before you go out there" Squall brought his fingers to his lips and indeed did feel Rinoa's fruity yet waxy lip gloss. Scowling he turned his back and began wiping it off. "And secondly, do you guys really think I'm that gullible? Cause that hurts ya know."  
  
Rinoa loved Selphie with all her heart but as she said before, she would do anything to protect her relationship with Squall, even if that meant threatening. "Selphie... If you tell anyone I'll..."  
  
"Aww come on...we all know about you guys"  
  
The look of shock on the couple's face was enough to get her giggling again. Squall gave her a questioning glare. "You do?...but..but how?"  
  
"Well first of all, you are way to formal to each other. I mean Squall's a commander not a god! I suggest that you treat him like a distant friend or something. And Rinoa's not a humble servant either. And of course there's the whole `discomfort' thing going on when you two are close. You could prolly cut the sexual tension with a knife." At this the couple blushed, avoiding each other's eyes at all cost, and making their friend snicker yet again. "Your secret's safe with me" she assured them going over to hug Rinoa before heading back to the doorway. "I'll give guys a few more minutes." She was about to shut the door when one last thought occurred to her. "Oh and another word of advice..." She said with a evil smile spreading across her face. "Try to be less noisy k?" With that, she shut the door, leaving the two alone again.  
  
The moment had long since been ruined and by some unspoken agreement they began to clean up the conference room which looked as though a tornado had hit it. For ten minutes they stayed silent, each fearing what the other had to say as they gathered various documents and stationery.  
  
Unable to take it much longer, it was Rinoa, of course, who spoke first. "Squall..?" she said hesitantly, he tilted his head a little in acknowledgment of her voice, but nothing more as he continued to stack papers. "Squall can't we..."  
  
"No" he interrupted before she even had a chance to finish, already knowing what she was going to ask.  
  
"But Squall, they already know! There's no point in keeping this up anymore"  
  
"It's not them I'm worried about" he replied blandly, as if he didn't even care. This brought Rinoa's eyes to water. She loved him, that she was sure of and she would risk anything for their love...but why wouldn't he do the same? Was his precious Garden and his stupid job really more important?  
  
Squall took her silence as a definite sign that he had done something wrong and sure enough, Rinoa had begun to whimper as she tried to hide her hurt and blink away the tears that threatened to spill by facing the wall. *Why do I put up with this? * she wondered, staring at a sculpture in the corner of the room. *I could be having a more romantic relationship with a vibrator! * She stood there for a while, refusing to speak until she regained her composure.  
  
"I'm just sick of it Squall" she said to him, playing with the two rings on her necklace as she talked. "I'm sick of the secrets, the lies, everything. I've put up with it for a year now and..." She took a deep gulp of air before she could finish "I don't see why you don't want to tell everyone about us"  
  
"It's just," he put the papers down and fidgeted uncomfortably with his key chain "I don't like it either Rinoa. But there's...complications."  
  
"Like what?" she asked him, still refusing to turn around until she knew the whole truth.  
  
Squall began to fidget more, he knew the answer he had would upset her, but he had to say something. "Well first of all there's the fact that I'm a commanding officer here and you're just a student. The faculty wouldn't really jump for joy if I announced our relationship. They expect me and Quistis to get togethe... " Rinoa accidentally allowed a loud sob to escape her lips when she heard this, interrupting and pressuring him to get to the point. "But I don't care about that really!" He insisted  
  
"So I'm not good enough for you," Rinoa looked down at her necklace, slipping her finger in the ring of Griever that hung on the chain, the ring that he had given her. "I understand."  
  
"Rinoa I don't care what they think!"  
  
Slipping her finger out of the ring, Rinoa turned to face him. "Then you still haven't answered my question have you? Why don't you want people to know about us?" If possible, Squall looked even more nervous as he looked everywhere except her eyes, knowing that once he did, he was doomed. "Tell me!" she insisted, forcing him to look at her. "Please?"  
  
Squall began scratching the back of his neck timidly, a habit he had when he was scared. Which was never in battle, always with her when having these conversations about their future.  
  
"You're not gonna like it" he warned, hoping this would scare her off. But of course it only strengthened her determination for the truth. With a sigh he was forced to tell her the exact opposite of what she wanted to hear. "I...I can't tell you." As expected, her eyes welled up, her shoulders sagged and she turned back to the wall, as if its comfort was more soothing than his was.  
  
At this, Squall felt a strong pang in his heart, but ignored it for her sake as he apprehensively made his way toward his girlfriend, wrapping his arms around her waist in a hug from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder. She didn't resist, but merely pretended he wasn't there. The sweet scent of her hair filled his senses with pleasure as his tenderly kissed her earlobe. "I'm sorry" he whispered, stroking her face gently with his knuckles, his lips travelling slowly down her neck.  
  
She shuddered in his arms, reminding herself of how good it felt to be touched. Yet again she surrendered to lust, leaning into him, enjoying the warmth of his embrace and forgetting all previous woes. *Much better than a vibrator * she convinced herself, allowing a small sigh escape her lips as her sucked slightly on the tender flesh of her shoulder. *He's just trying to make me forget about what we were talking about * she reminded herself *but he's not gonna make it. *  
  
"Squall?" she started once more, turning around in his arms so that she could face him, their lips dangerously close to performing an encore of before. But Rinoa knew what she was doing. "Do you love me?" she asked, letting her tongue sweep slowly over his bottom lip so that he didn't dare make the wrong reply.  
  
"Uh-huh" he managed to mutter while trying to kiss her, but she wouldn't let him.  
  
"And would you do anything for me?"  
  
"Uh-huh" He was getting impatient she could tell. It was a little funny what power women had at certain moments.  
  
"Anything? Promise?" she repeated, making eye contact.  
  
Squall didn't falter under her stern gaze, he looked directly into her eyes and said what she had waited to hear. "Anything, I promise."  
  
"Good!' Rinoa removed herself from his arms and collected her blue duster that had somehow made its way to the floor during their previous little encounter and headed to the exit. "Then of course you'll tell everyone about us at the ball tomorrow night." Squall, realizing he had fallen into a trap, only had time to give her an angry glare before having the door slammed in his face.  
  
Rinoa, smiling to herself at her success, began happily walking toward her dorm, whistling. She was halfway to the elevator before, as expected, she felt Squall grab her should and spin her around to face him. "Rinoa! I can't do that" he whispered to her, his eyes pleading "You know I want to, more than anything but I just can't"  
  
"Why hello Commander Leonhart!" she greeted him loudly so that everyone in the corridor knew that they were having a conversation, sarcastically curtsying. "I'm afraid that a woman of so low status such as myself is not fit to be in the presence of someone so high and mighty."  
  
"Rinoa, you know very well that's not what I mean..."  
  
"Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I'm wanted by some of the maids to scrub the floor and feed the dogs. I will no longer be a hassel to you, if that is what you wish your highness. Why don't you go visit Qusitis?" She curtsied again before turning and walking away, Squall hot on her heels.  
  
"Why can't you just trust me?" he demanded, fed up with her attitude.  
  
"And why can't you trust me?" She picked up the pace, practically running now to the elevators that would take her to the student dorms where he would not dare venture if he was so keen on them not being discovered.  
  
"It's top secret!"  
  
"Top secret is it?...The reason we can't announce our relation ship is because its `top secret'? Excuse me for thinking you're full of shit Mr. Leonhart."  
  
"I know how it sounds stupid but please just..."  
  
"I can't do this anymore!" They were at the elevators now, and Rinoa pushed the down button desperately, wanting to get away from him. The doors opened instantly to an empty lift and she practically ran inside, praying for the doors to shut.  
  
But Squall held them open, not letting her get away so easily. "What do you mean by that Rinoa?"  
  
Rinoa kept her eyes at her feet, refusing to look at him. "I mean that is you can't get the guts to tell everyone then..." her lips began to tremble "then it's over Squall."  
  
A pregnant pause followed...  
  
Have you ever felt like your falling while you can feel your feet firmly planted on the ground? Someone tells you a few simply words and it makes you heart stop and jump in your throat. That's how Squall felt the moment he kissed Rinoa, the first time she said that she loved him and now it was happening all over again, though this time it was accompanied with a growing sense of dread. A feeling that confirmed that he was destined to be alone forever.  
  
"Rinoa...please..." He choked out the words through waves of emotion that threatened to drown his voice with every passing syllable. He looked around the hallway to make sure they were alone before he said what he hoped would make her see sense. "I...I love you."  
  
Rinoa looked up at him for a few seconds, staring into his beautiful stormy gray eyes, filled with grief at the thought of losing her. "Obviously not enough."  
  
The doors closed agonizing slowly, or maybe it was just him, not wanting to break eye contact cause that would mean she was really gone. "See you tomorrow night," She whispered before the doors closed, the sounds echoing throughout the deserted halls almost exaggeratedly. It was almost comic how quickly his life lost its meaning, the moment the bell rang signifying that the elevator was gone to where he could not follow. Leaning his head against the doors, he desperately tried to regain his composure before going up to see the Shumi elder for their meeting. But it was impossible, all he could think of was Rinoa and how much he missed her after only 10 seconds of their breakup. `I'll talk to Cid' he told himself. `I'll ask him...no...ill MAKE him understand that I need her. He can't keep us apart forever.' With new motivation, Squall pressed the button to summon the elevator. Their daily report wasn't for another two hours but he couldn't wait for Cid's schedule with all that  
was at stake. When the lift arrived, he wasted no time in making his way to Cid's office, where his entire existence would be determined. 


	3. Is He Worth It?

(*Author's note* I'd like to deeply thank my first two reviewers Erin Leonhart and AngelWings...this is my first fic and an author's first reviews will always be special to her. *Yunalesca sends hugs out to all her reviewers...even though they are complete strangers, she doesn't care*. Heheheh...I'm so happy now! It's been posted for like 5 minutes and I got happy reviews!!! Thanks for the encouragement so I'm now starting chapter 3. By the time it's posted I hope to have a few more reviews! Thanks guys from the bottom of my heart.  
  
Umm I also wanted to warn Quistis lovers, that I make her kinda a bitch in this chapter. But don't take it personally!! This story is totally fictional and she's only bitchy now. Later on she be back to the normal `loving' Quistis. So no flames!! A lot of people have been telling me how I've changed the story and to them I say: "I know I've changed it. What's the point of spending so long on a fic if ur just gonna recite what everyone already knows?" So I repeat THIS IS FICTION!!!)  
  
~*Chapter 3*~  
  
Is He Worth It?  
  
"Hard to think that you lost it all.  
  
God knows even Angels fall..."  
  
*This is for the best * Rinoa reminded herself as the elevator descended the 3 floors to the dormitories, trying with all her might to keep from crying. *If he won't commit to me, then I don't want to have anything to do with him. * She told herself encouragingly as she paced in the small elevator. *No man is worth all this. I'll give him till tomorrow night and if he doesn't then...then he can go to hell for all I care. * This of course was a complete lie but she wasn't going to admit that anytime soon.  
  
Rinoa was stubborn.  
  
Even more stubborn that Squall in some ways, but she believed in her heart that she was doing the right thing. She loved Squall, that she had no doubt of, but was love worth all this...hassle? Was love worth her time, her patience, and her very being? Contemplating the answer to these questions, Rinoa stepped onto the moss-like carpet of the student dorm hallway and began making her way to her room, all the time blinking excessively to keep at bay the dam of tears threatening to break free.  
  
Once she started thinking, there was no stopping the flow of questions about her future. In order to support her decision, Rinoa began mentally making a list of pros and cons about their relationship.  
  
1. She didn't want to be a SeeD, she didn't even want to have anything to do with the military...but she spent countless hours studying and training pointlessly just so that she could be near Squall.  
  
2. She actually dreamed of being a nurse, or a doctor of some kind. Someone who helps people...but she threw that away because of Squall.  
  
3. She wanted to have a family and a small house on the beach...but she settled for a cramped little dorm, all alone...yet again because of Squall.  
  
And what did she get in return for sacrificing all her dreams?...absolutely nothing. She may as well start asking him to pay her to be his whore! That way at least she'd get money out of it.  
  
With a sigh, Rinoa stopped by the vending machine at the corner to buy herself a snack before she had to rush off to yet another class of learning how to kill things. Her stomach churned with hunger as she purchased a small bag of chips and a coffee. A reminder that she'd much rather be sitting downstairs in the cafeteria with a couple of hotdogs, some fries and a large soda...but, as usual, she sacrificed a good meal for Squall. Yet another con, the list was getting pretty long by now.  
  
So caught up in her thoughts, Rinoa kept her eyes on the ground, paying no attention to the growing traffic in the halls as students began rushing around in order to get back to their classes in time. It wasn't long before she bumped into someone roughly, spilling her hot coffee all over their dry-cleaned, freshly pressed, perfect SeeD uniform.  
  
"Oh I'm so sorry!" apologized an embarrassed Rinoa, searching her pockets for a napkin of some kind but only came up with a few measly scraps of used Kleenex. "I was just..." she looked up into the face of the person she had hit, only to let her mouth hang open in shock. It was none other than Ms. Perfect herself, the girl whom she had `stolen' Squall from and the last person she wanted to see...Quistis.  
  
The tall blonde girl sneered at Rinoa's offerings and pulled out one of her own hand-stitched handkerchiefs from her sleeve. "It's okay Heartilly," she said a little smugly, as though she were a peasant or something. It was no secret that the only reason Quistis didn't bitch at her was because of her respect for Squall and her desperate need to prove to him that she wasn't as boring and cold hearted as he thought.  
  
"I'm so sorry Quistis, I didn't see you."  
  
"I said it's okay. No use crying over spilt milk...or coffee in this case. Hot, staining coffee on the uniform I try so hard to keep clean." She gave Rinoa a forced smile behind an annoyed stare. "So," Quistis began, wiping the remaining droplets off her neck, making some of the passing male students drool. "How did it go with Squall?"  
  
Rinoa immediately blushed, looking at her feet as she remembered her and Squall's (quote un-quote) "meeting".  
  
Quistis smiled, analyzing her movements in a way that only a woman could understand. "That good huh?"  
  
Rinoa only blushed more "Am I that obvious?"  
  
"Well, to put it lightly you two have got to work on your stealth a little. Who knows what'll happen if you two get caught."  
  
Looking up at the blonde instructor, Rinoa came up with a sudden idea. Maybe Quistis knew why she and Squall couldn't be seen together? Maybe she could end all the questioning here and now?  
  
"What'll happen?"  
  
Quistis' smile was replaced with a sarcastic look of confusion. "What ever do you mean my dear Rinoa?"  
  
"What will happen if Squall and I are seen together?" she insisted, her hands placed firmly on her hips. "What is the point of all this secrecy?"  
  
The blonde smiled, as if Rinoa were no more than a child who didn't know any better than to ask stupid questions. "Why didn't you hear?"  
  
"Obviously I didn't if I'm asking." Rinoa was getting annoyed by now with the way she was prancing around the subject.  
  
Quistis peered over her shoulder, as if to make sure no one `suspicious' was around to hear what she was going to say. Then she leaned forward to whisper into Rinoa's ear. Taking her precious time knowing that the suspense was killing her.  
  
"Well," she paused again, drawing an exaggerated gulp of air "The reason Squall doesn't want to be seen around you..." she gestured Rinoa to come even closer till she could feel her breath on her cheek "is top secret."  
  
She was teasing. That much was obvious, flaunting information that Rinoa desperately wanted to know, but refused to give. Sure she wasn't a high ranking SeeD like the rest of them, but she was still a human being, one who deserved to know why she had to put up with this crap.  
  
"You're not going to tell me are you?" Rinoa backed away, fury in her eyes.  
  
"My dear Rinoa," Quistis flipped her hair dramatically over her shoulder, making sure that the other students saw how it shone in the light. "I believe that you are but a student, and Squall (the commander) is my (the assistant headmistress') date to the anniversary ball tomorrow night and every night in the future. As far as Garden is concerned, I am his wife!" Her smile was instantly replaced with a stern gaze. "To think...the commander and a student! Why it would be a scandal!"  
  
"And what does that have to do with..."  
  
"The point is that these little `meetings' of yours had better come to an end."  
  
Rinoa didn't like the way this conversation was going. Squall had already told her of the complications their relationship would produce within Garden's social ladder. But he said that that wasn't what was bothering him. He said that there was something else. Was that true? Or was it simply Quistis' jealousy he was worried about?  
  
"Was that a threat instructor Trepe?" Rinoa asked, glowering.  
  
Quistis only shrugged, her innocent act back in place. "Consider it a warning from a friend."  
  
Resisting the urge to slap Quistis then and there, Rinoa darted past the smirking blonde and headed straight to her room. She should of known better to actually expect a straight answer. At this rate, with friends like instructor Trepe and boyfriends like Squall, she would never get the answers she was searching for.  
  
Once in her dormitory, Rinoa fell down on her bed, hugging her pillow to her chest. Yet she refused to cry. She had cried enough over the past year to last her a lifetime. She hated her classes, she hated her so called `friends', she hated this room, she hated wasting her life on something she hated...to sum things up; she hated Garden and everything in it. Except Squall, but even he was starting to piss her off lately. For the first time in a year, Rinoa really began to ask herself `is he worth it'?  
  
* 


	4. Revelations

(Author's Note: Yey! I was so shocked and happy to see that some of my favorite author's such as Purple Rose and Optical Goddess actually took the time to review my story! Yey!...okay...I'm calm now. I would like to thank ever single person who reviewed me, its for you that I do all this...except "leonhart wannabe" I'LL KILL YOU ALEX!! I'll kill Sacha for telling you my penname. But I now have new motivation to write the next chapter so here it goes and once again I thank you guys so much.)  
  
*~Chapter 4~*  
  
Revelations  
  
"The course of true love never did run smooth"  
  
-William Shakespeare  
  
Squall's hand rose in preparation to knock on the heavy oak door to Headmaster Cid's office on the third floor, but hesitated milliseconds before his knuckles hit the wood. A minute ago he had been determined to march straight in there and demand that he be able to go public about his relationship with Rinoa. But now, once he was actually there, right in front of the door...only then did the doubt begin to settle in his brain, spreading throughout his mind like a grueling plague.  
  
*What if this is a mistake * he thought, slowly pulling back his clenched fist. *What if Cid gets angry if I question Garden's orders. Is Rinoa's spazing really worth my position as commander? Is this little fight of ours worth my hard earned title of SeeD?...Is Rinoa worth it? * (Little did he know that Rinoa herself had been pondering the same question, and she too was having extreme difficulty answering. )  
  
All his life, his only goal had been to advance in Garden. He had been raised to believe that duty and honor was placed far above such foolish emotions such as love and lust. With a sigh Squall turned away from the office door and once again headed for the elevators. He couldn't risk it. Garden was his home, and he would not put that in jeopardy. Not when a simple talk could possibly fix things between them easily. Who knows?...maybe he'd even go through the pains of arranging a weekend away from all of this secrecy...just the two of them in a lovely seaside resort in Dollet, maybe even Fisherman's Horizon, where they could be alone. He was only concerned with HER happiness of course (wink wink). The fact that he was still a 19-year-old virgin had nothing to do with it.  
  
With a smile, Squall pressed the button to summon the elevator, drumming his fingers impatiently on the wall. He desperately wanted to fix things with Rinoa before she had too much time to think and actually consider what she had said earlier. With the pleasant ringing of a bell, the lift arrived. Squall was about to step in, with his eyes pointed to the ground, ignoring whomever it was exiting the elevator, when he felt someone's firm hand grip his shoulder, forcing him to take notice.  
  
It was none other than headmaster Cid coming back to his office after his daily luncheon with Quistis in the cafeteria, a steaming mug of coffee in his hand and a smile on his face.  
  
"Squall!" he exclaimed happily, pulling his commander into an awkward hug since Squall was still a little shocked and found it impossible to react. "What are you doing here my boy? Our meetings not for another few hours...I think." Cid looked at his watch too make sure. "Yep, it's only noon...shouldn't you be with the Shumi leader?"  
  
Squall looked around for an excuse. He couldn't say that he was here for any other reason other than to see the headmaster since the third floor was strictly Cid's territory. The truth was his only option. "I wanted to ask you a question...but it can wait headmaster, my apologies."  
  
He began toward the open elevator but Cid stopped him, shaking his head. "Shumi can wait. I don't think they even care that we're going through all this trouble to ensure that they don't get blown up or something. They don't believe that anything or anyone would dare harm a peaceful people such as themselves...of course I don't believe they've been introduced to the Galbadian way of thinking." He scratched the stubble on his chin with an exasperated sigh. "We have time, come into my office."  
  
Cid sipped his coffee as he walked the few feet to the heavy oak doors, pushing them open with one hand as Squall followed all the time protesting.  
  
"Cid, I really should get going...the Shumi elder isn't known for his patience." He paused at the threshold, fearful to actually set foot in the beautiful sunroom. But Cid only plopped down on his desk and motioned for Squall to close the door behind him.  
  
"Squall, they have been totally antagonistic toward us since we built that wall around their village, claiming we ruined their view or something and neglecting the fact that we saved them all from that hoard of wild behemoths set loose in the northern region." He began sorting through the piles of papers stacked neatly on his desk, ignoring his commander's pleas. "The don't even live above ground for Hyne's sake...what view is there to miss?! The least we can do is make them wait a while."  
  
Squall nodded and closed the door before hesitantly sitting himself down in one of the overstuffed chairs in front of Cid's wide desk.  
  
"So?" the headmaster said, placing his mug carefully on a coaster after sipping it one last time and leaning back in his large leather chair. "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"  
  
Squall had been avoiding having this conversation for so long now that by now he was terrified of what the headmaster's reaction might be. He suddenly felt very small in this gigantic room, with the dark, towering doors and the back wall made entirely out of glass through which you could see the endless blue sky. And in the center of it all sat Cid, behind his oversized desk in his oversized chair with an oversized grin on his face...like Hyne himself. Even a full grown Ruby Dragon would have been a bit intimidated by the scene, let alone a lowly commander who held information he knew his superior wouldn't want to hear. Luckily, Cid seemed too be in a cheerful mood. That was always a good sign. Rinoa was right, they couldn't put up with this forever and now was as good a time as any to bring up the subject, so it seemed.  
  
"Well..." Squall began, clearing his throat and focusing intently on his lap as he nervously wrung his hands. "It's about Ri..." but, as if fate didn't want him to finish his sentence, Cid's phone rang, interrupting.  
  
Saved by the bell.  
  
Squall could help but feel relieved as the headmaster gestured his apology and searched for the speakerphone button. "It's my personal line" he explained "emergencies only". Who cared!? As far as the commander was concerned, the extra time to sort out his thoughts was a blessing.  
  
"Balamb Garden," he answered once finding the correct button "this is Cid speaking".  
  
"Cid?" questioned a cheerful, mocking voice from the other line. "What's with the formalities? It's only me."  
  
The headmaster chuckled. "Yes of course Mr. President. Sorry."  
  
Squall visibly stiffened. Only one man used Cid's personal number AND held that title...that would be the president of Esthar...otherwise known as Sir Laguna...the hero who banished Adel...Sis' guardian...and, to a select few, the Commander's father. Squall involuntarily winced at the thought.  
  
He had found out a while ago, about two months after the 2^nd sorceress's war and to say that it was `quite a shock' would have been putting it lightly. If there was ever a time when Squall could have been described as temporarily insane, it would have been the night he got that call. The call that informed him that the blood tests has turned positive and that the father he had thought dead for 19 years was really just lounging comfortably in Esthar his entire life without a care in the world.  
  
Hyne, how he hated that man. And how he now pitied the training center fiends that had had to face his wrath that night...along with half the furniture in his dorm...and not to mention the old oak tree in the courtyard that still had a few generous dents in it even after the junior classmen accused of committing the vandalism spent hours healing it. Yet another thing he had meant to mention to the headmaster but never got around to...oops.  
  
"So have you changed your mind about coming?" Cid continued the conversation as if Squall wasn't in the room. "Its not every day that we celebrate the one year anniversary of the defeat of the sorceress Ultimecia now is it?"  
  
"That's just what I was hoping to discuss...I would love to come but I don't think..." Laguna paused as if trying to find the right words "I don't believe a certain Commander would enjoy my company at a ball celebrating his success."  
  
*Well you're right about one thing* Squall thought. He'd rather have the three-ring circus than Laguna on the guest list. But Cid passed it off as usual, ignoring the obvious fact that he HATED the president with a fiery passion.  
  
"Who? You mean Squall? You must be joking. He would absolutely LOVE for you to come."  
  
*HA! Yeah right. Almost as much as I love being tortured to death and the color pink *  
  
"Really?" Laguna asked happily, thrilled by the fact that he may finally get the chance to have a civilized conversation with his son. Only a complete idiot would have believed that after all the `stay at least 10,000 feet away from me' signals Squall had been sending he still wanted to talk.  
  
Exhibit A; the president of Esthar...a true, complete idiot.  
  
But Cid kept it coming. "Of course he would." he insisted, turning the phone around to face his commander so that the speaker was closer to him. "...Wouldn't you Squall?"...  
  
...Now that was just plain mean.  
  
Squall held his breath, praying to Hyne that something heavy would magically appear in the sky, fall on his head, rendering him unconscious thus saving him from having to talk to his father.  
  
"Is...is he there?" Laguna stammered, he too was not prepared yet for the much-anticipated lecture. "Squall?...Are you there?"  
  
His first impulse was, of course, to run as fast as possible to his dorm, barricade the door and refuse to come out until the world solemnly swore to stay out of his personal life once and for all. Anger also threatened to dissolve his resolve, since the sly Cid was pulling a lame attempt to get the father and son talking again. However, several years of suppressing his emotions has taught him well and somehow Squall managed not to scream in protest but just sit there and do nothing.  
  
He refused to talk...it was a simple and childish plan but if in the end he got what he wanted, the procedure didn't really matter. After eight months of successfully avoiding any contact whatsoever with his father, he sure as hell wasn't going to give in now. Even if the headmaster had to witness his stubbornness.  
  
Luckily, Laguna seemed to sense his son's discomfort and it was he who withdrew first. "It's alright Cid, just pick up the phone. He's not ready yet and we can't blame him for that."  
  
*Always aiming to please* Squall thought, knowing that Laguna would surely cut off his own hands if he believed it would get people to like him. The total opposite of Squall who could care less of what people thought. *Well you're too late for my affections...a lifetime too late*  
  
...There was absolutely no way they could be related. The Lionheart and the Clown...it was just wrong.  
  
Cid sighed before reaching over to pick up the receiver, disappointment written all over his face when he looked at Squall who simply shrugged and mumbled "whatever" under his breath. Maybe he really should try to extend his vocabulary.  
  
"Uh huh...I'll tell Selphie to add you to the guest list...yes I'll tell him...Goodbye Mr. President. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night." And with those final words, they disconnected and air was finally allowed back into Squall's lungs.  
  
Tomorrow night...well he had to face him sooner or later. Mostly likely later because there was no way Squall was going to that ball now.  
  
Cid turned to his Commander, a smirk on his wide face. " I'm guessing you know the president is attending the anniversary ball."  
  
Squall sifted in his seat, wanting to end the conversation. "Yes sir...too bad...I thought he'd be busy."  
  
"One always finds time to honor the heroes who saved the world. To think...a whole year since the battle with Ultimecia. Seems like only yesterday...My time flies doesn't it?"  
  
"I guess so sir."  
  
"Are you going to honor us with a speech?"  
  
"Not if I have a choice sir."  
  
Cid laughed whole heartily. "That's what I love about you Squall...always honest...someone I can trust." Squall felt a deep pang in his heart, but hid it well. The exact reason he had come here was to inform the headmaster that he had been deceiving him for an entire year. Oh the irony was just too much.  
  
"I would greatly appreciate it if you made the speech. It just seems fitting that the leader of the group does it...and, not to mention, I don't want you running off half way through the party to avoid certain encounters."  
  
*Damn*...was he really that predictable?  
  
"As you wish sir." Fine, he'd go to the ball. But the first person to shove Laguna in his face was doing so at the risk of great injury.  
  
"We're all very proud of you Squall...he is very proud of you." Squall rolled his eyes and fiddled with the chain of his necklace...Laguna was proud of him...great. It was funny that he only after he saved the world did his father give him some recognition.  
  
"Laguna is a great man...like father like son I guess."  
  
A great man...Ha...he was such a great man that he knocked up some girl and left her to die and his son to an orphanage while he gallivanted around the world writing books, banishing sorceresses and claiming cities.  
  
Squall brought the pendant of greiver up to his face and for the first time, studied it carefully with new meaning. He had had the necklace since he could remember. It came with him when he was born along with the ring that now hung around Rinoa's neck.  
  
The pendant that he had always treasured suddenly appeared vile and tacky.  
  
Had they once belonged to him? Had his precious chain once hung around the neck of that bastard Laguna? Had the ring once adorned the finger of his mother? What had happened all those years ago? Why did he, in the end, always end up alone?  
  
Of course, all these questions and more could be answered if he only had the nerve to speak to his father if only for a minute. But pride won over curiosity. He wouldn't dare give Laguna the satisfaction of his attention. It wasn't the Leonhart way.  
  
"A great man wouldn't have abandoned his family." Squall said, while carefully removing the chain from his neck, unable to look at it anymore, and stuffing it in his pocket. His neck felt unusually light without it.  
  
"There were complications." Cid defended the president, certain of his innocence in the matter. It was true what Squall said. Leaving Raine had been a stupid thing to do. Something he was sure Laguna would have avoided if he had the choice. "Just give him the chance to explain. That's all he wants from you right now...neither your sympathy nor your affections just your understanding. Is that too much too as..."  
  
"Forgive me headmaster but I do not wish to pursue this subject any further." Squall stood up, proving that he would indeed leave if he was forced to talk about his parentage any longer. Cid sighed and motioned him to sit back down in defeat.  
  
"I've been trying to get you to open up for years boy..." he said while anxiously running his hands through his thinning hair. "But I'm finally beginning to believe that it may be impossible."  
  
*Nothing is impossible* Squall almost smiled as he remembered Rinoa's words. She hadn't given up on him like the rest of the world...Rinoa had managed to get inside his head and his heart. She had tamed the lion.  
  
She had...  
  
She...  
  
She was going to leave him if he didn't get to the point soon. That's why he had come here in the first place after all.  
  
"Umm...sir?" he began, his anger ebbing away into the oncoming flood of nervousness. "About what I was saying before we were interrupted..."  
  
"Oh yes!" Cid slapped his forehead. "I completely forgot...you may continue."  
  
"Umm well..." the nervousness had completely resurfaced by now. But the image of Rinoa's smiling face when he told her they no longer had to hide kept him from going under. "It's been a year now since the defeat of Ultimecia, a year during which nothing odd has happened." Cid's smile faded as quickly as hot dogs disappear from Zell's plate as he sifted uncomfortably in his seat, intensifying Squall's anxiety. He knew where this conversation was headed, they both knew perfectly well.  
  
"Go on," he insisted, trying miserably to hide the annoyance in his voice.  
  
"Well sir...I was wondering if..."  
  
"No." Cid cut him off without even letting him finish, knowing what he was going to ask and that was out of the question.  
  
"But Sir!" Squall protested, standing up so abruptly that his chair fell over backwards, not that he noticed. "It's been a year! I've been seeing her for a year and nothing has..."  
  
"YOU'VE BEEN WHAT!" This he hadn't meant to say and Cid's anger was apparent as he too rose from his chair and glared at Squall menacingly. If looks could kill, he'd be long since dead. "Do you mean to tell me that my high commander has been lying to me for the majority of his career here in Garden? Do you mean to tell me that you went as far as seeing this girl behind my back when I specifically asked...no I TOLD you not to go near her?"  
  
He had never seen Cid this angry, and it as more than a little disturbing for a man known throughout the world for his calm, blow up at him so readily. But by this point, Squall was angry too; angry enough to fight back with the hopes of salvaging what was left of his relationship with the woman he loved. Some would call an act of such proportions incredibly romantic and brave...but the majority would of called it stupid.  
  
"I don't get it Cid! Why all this fuss when everyone can clearly see that nothing is wrong with her...and Caraway obviously doesn't care or he would of long since come to Garden."  
  
"We shouldn't risk the daughter of the Galbadian General fraternizing with our commander. I know you teenage boys. I was young once too you know and the information you can spill out when some girl has got you by the tongue is astounding. I'd be so easy for her just too..."  
  
"I haven't told her anything! And even if I did, she wouldn't tell her father...she hates her father and she's committed to Garden."  
  
"Committed to Garden eh?" Cid gave him a sarcastic laugh before turning to face the window, his hands twisting behind his back. "What a great boyfriend you must be not to notice how much she's suffering here."  
  
Squall sneered before bending down to pick up the chair he had previously thrown to the floor, all the while thinking of how many ways he'd like to kill his headmaster at that moment. But Cid ignored him and continued "I should have figured it out months ago. She's miserable here Squall...suffering immensely don't you see?" Squall crossed his arms over his chest. Of course he knew how Rinoa hated it here. It was painfully obvious that fighting wasn't what she intended to do with her life, but he just figured she would learn to love it eventually like he did. And whether it was because he was blinded by his need for her by his side, or because he truly believed that she was on her way to becoming a great SeeD, Squall refused to bring up the subject. "I had long since began to wonder why she was putting up with it all," Cid continued, his voice lowering "but I had faith that you wouldn't dare disobey me." He turned to his commander, a look of pure disappointment etched on his  
features. "I guess I was wrong."  
  
An uncomfortable pause followed, during which Squall stared at his feet, his rage dissolving into shame in seconds. He hadn't meant to betray Garden. It was the last thing he ever wanted to do, but Cid had to realize that... "I love her..."  
  
Something in his voice seemed to touch the headmaster, for his face visibly softened as he sighed and cautiously walked around the desk to face Squall, no longer looking at him as a treacherous commander but as yet another young man fallen victim to the virus of love. Placing a hand on his shoulder, Cid searched those stormy blue-gray eyes, hoping to find some sign of guilt or realization. But Squall was as persistent as ever, his sights set on one goal that he would pursue until the end...Rinoa.  
  
Cid pitied him, as he had pitied himself all those years ago when he had been thrown into the same situation with his wife Edea. But he wouldn't let Squall make the same mistakes he did. He had refused to part with Edea all those years ago. And yes now they were as happy as ever, but only after a decade of war and blood and death just because he hadn't had the guts to give her up, even after he knew who she was and what she was destined to be.  
  
"Squall, I know you're her knight...that will never change. But I said it before and I'll say it again...stay away from her." Squall tensed as the headmaster backed up to lean on his desk. This was going to take a lot of convincing, he could tell already. "It's for your own good...need I remind you why?"  
  
"But sir!..." Squall wouldn't give up so easily, and though it added to his strenuous task of insisting that they part, Cid couldn't help but admire his determination...few had the guts to stand up to their headmaster. "Nothing has happened to lead us to believe that she..."  
  
"YET Squall...nothing had happened yet. She's still young. It won't be long before she starts showing the signs."  
  
"And when that happens I swear, a the first inkling I get that she's acting strangely, I will send her to Tear's Point without a moment's hesitation."  
  
Cid laughed at this. "Will you really?" he asked, reaching over to claim his mug of coffee still resting on the coaster. "Even if it takes, I dunno, years before she starts to change? Even if you're married and have a comfortable little home on some secluded beach with two pet moombas replacing the children you can never have...will you still, so easily, let her go?"  
  
As expected, the commander stayed silent and stared down at his feet once more. "I didn't think so. Hyne knows I couldn't part with my wife when the time came, and look at the mess I made."  
  
*Say something* Squall tried to urge himself, but he couldn't. A lump had formed in his throat large enough to abort all efforts to speak. *It won't happen to me...Rinoa loves me...she would never...*  
  
"She will turn on you Squall. It's not a theory it's a fact." Said Cid calmly, finishing Squall thoughts and capturing his eyes once more as they stared at each other. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day when you least expect it. When it comes down to strictly you or world domination, she won't hesitate to choose the latter. Not because she wants to but because its in her blood. Adel did it, Edea did it and history always repeats itself."  
  
"But Rinoa is different!" Squall insisted, desperate to defend his hopeless case. But Cid only laughed almost mocking Squall's lame attempt to win this losing battle.  
  
"I'm sorry" he said through giggles, trying to catch his breath "It's just funny that that's the exact same thing I said to the white SeeDs who tried to lock up Edea on her own orders all those years ago." They stood there for a while in uncomfortable silence...both men faced with the same dilemmas at one point in their lives...the sorceresses' lovers.  
  
"You have no future with her Squall. Sorceresses are sterile and I know you don't care about that now but trust me, you will later. She has a destiny, an evil destiny that does not concern you. You're lucky that your relationship with the president of Esthar allows Rinoa to roam free of her burden for the few years before she comes into her powers. She's safe here, where power hungry military figures such as her father won't use her for her title and where people who fear the sorceress wont dare do her harm within these walls. It hurts...I know, but not half as much as it will if you pursue this relationship for she will betray you...it is written in the stars.... If you really love her, you'll let her go."  
  
Squall sniffed loudly, but didn't cry. He never cried in his life and he sure as hell wasn't going to start now. "Can't I at least tell her why?"  
  
Cid shakes his head sadly. "It's bad enough that we'll have to send her into space once she turns...do you really think it fair for her to live her last few years worrying about it? Rinoa doesn't know all this is going to happen to her, I think it best if it stays that way."  
  
Squall nodded, Cid had a point...a bad point but a point. With a stiff salute, he turned to leave only to be stopped by one last comment from his headmaster. "This goes without saying," he mutters, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and waiting for his commander to signal that he's heard him. Squall cocks his head a little but refuses to turn around. So Cid continues, knowing he is listening. "If you're seen with her again...you're out of Garden. Not commander, not SeeD not anything you understand?"  
  
Squall's eyes narrow to slits and his fists clench and unclench at his sides. He wanted to just get out of this horrid office. Away from the very stench of all the lies set up so that Rinoa can live out the rest of her life peacefully, all the while strangling her with the sheer fakeness of the entire place. Squall didn't care that she was a sorceress, he didn't care that she was prophesied to betray him. It didn't matter, together they would find away around it all.... Together they could do anything.  
  
"Squall?" Cid insisted impatiently. "Did you hear me?"  
  
"I understand" he says blankly before marching out of the office and slamming the doors with bone breaking force behind him, to many wild thought running through his brain to notice.  
  
He understood. Yes. But did he care? No.  
  
*Tomorrow night*. Rinoa's words rang clear in his head as he stepped onto the empty elevator. *If you don't tell everyone by tomorrow night...*  
  
Tomorrow night...the ball...the ball which he was forced to take Quistis to. The ball where he would announce his love for Rinoa to the entire student body and faculty before he whisked her away to a far off place where no one would stand in the way of their love...yes...they would leave Garden forever, and never look back.  
  
Squall pressed his face against the glass of the lift's walls as the floors zoomed by one by one. He tried to carve their detail in his mind, everything from the ceiling's stucco pattern to the tall flower pots placed outside the doors, knowing that within the next 48 hours, he would leave this place forever...his home. But he finally decided...she was worth it. 


	5. Always Be Prepared

(Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to my friends Sophie who couldn't give a damn as to what fanfics I'm writing but still I thought it would be funny to dedicate something to her since she is sad...so B, this ones for you. And to Purple Rose, a great author who inspires me.)  
  
*Just too remind people, this is my fist fic so I'm pretty much making it up as I go along. This is totally fictional and I realize that many parts don't match with that of the game, so if you feel the need to remind me, I know and I thank you for pointing it out. Once I'm finished this one I'll write an actual good fic with a summary and drafts and all that crap before I post it, but this is a tester so bear with me. Thank you.  
  
~*Chapter 5*~  
  
Always Be Prepared  
  
"The very essence of romance is uncertainty"  
  
-Oscar Wilde  
  
Selphie sighed as she attempted, yet again, to staple the royal blue, silk streamer in place, but to no avail since she was decorating in the shadows of the already darkened Quad and couldn't see a damn thing. Once again she missed her target with the staple gun and watched as the long strip of fabric fell to the ground for the fifth time, making the usually cheerful brunette curse in frustration.  
  
"HEY!" she yelled at two of her supposed helpers who were chatting away carelessly on the floor below. They jumped slightly at the sheer volume of her voice. "What the hell does a girl have to do to get some light around here huh?" As if the walls heard her plea, the gigantic overhead chandelier suddenly sprang to life, engulfing the room with a beautiful golden glow. "That's better" she said to herself before jumping off the ladder onto the floor below to retrieve the fallen streamer, not caring whoever it was who turned on the lights.  
  
"I believe I deserve at least a `thank you,'" said an emerging figure from the shadows where the switch was located. Selphie recognized the voiced as the last person she wanted to talk to, and she shrugged indifferently not wanting to give him the pleasure of her notice before continuing up the ladder with the newly retrieved streamer clutched tightly in her fist.  
  
"Come on Selphie!" begged Irvine, leaning on the legs of the ladder as she climbed. "You can't avoid me forever."  
  
"Watch me." With the newly acquired light on her side, Selphie simply choose to ignore him and continue the strenuous task of stapling. Irvine, however, didn't give up that easily.  
  
"Look I know that you think I'm a womanizer and a jerk but..."  
  
"You left out `flirt', `cheater', `scumbag', `player'..." she added more force in her stapling with every word.  
  
"You're missing the point here Seffie." Irvine said, a bit annoyed with her honesty.  
  
"So what is the point Irvine?" She finished putting up the streamers in that area and jumped off the ladder to start on the other side of the room.  
  
"The point is..." he had to jog to keep up with her hasty pace "that I know for a fact that you don't have a date for the ball tomorrow night. And I also know that I happen to be available for that particular occasion."  
  
Selphie stopped in her tracks, causing Irvine to walk right into her, not that she noticed. *Is he asking me out?* she thought happily, hoping that maybe...just maybe THIS time, he wouldn't ditch her the moment some scantily clad blonde started showing signs of interest. Maybe...just maybe, he'd changed from the last time they had tried to go out...okay the last THREE times they had tried going out. Maybe...  
  
*Who am I kidding* she shook her head sadly. *This is Irvine we're talking about. He probably took out his little black book and randomly picked some idiot bimbo to be his date. I guess he thinks I should be flattered that I ended up being where his finger landed...ladies and gentleman may I present bimbo of the month.*  
  
*Well its not going to be me...it's never going to be me again.* Selphie bent down to pick up another streamer from the pile she had cut earlier and marched off the north end of the Quad, with the sparkly dark blue fabric trailing behind her majestically. Irvine could tell from her very walk that she was pissed yet tempted all the same. This brought a smile to his lips, knowing that no matter how hard she tried to discourage him, she in fact wanted him to press on. And so he did, rushing up to her from behind and scooping her up in his arms, getting them both tangled in the sea of silky streamers.  
  
"IRVINE!" yelled Selphie as she struggled to break out of his grasp. "PUT ME DOWN NOW OR I SWEAR I'LL..."  
  
"Say you'll come to the ball with me." Selphie stopped struggling in order to push away the fabric that had gathered between their faces so that she could glower.  
  
"Like hell am I going anywhere with you! Now put me down!"  
  
Irvine shook his head, playfully giggling but being careful not to push any buttons cause boy could that girl slap, as he knew from personal experience. "Just tell me you'll be my date the ball. Or I'll..."  
  
"Or you'll what?"  
  
This, Selphie didn't get to hear the answer to, for Irvine didn't hesitate to cover his lips with hers in a passionate embrace. At first she was angry, thinking he was taking advantage of her. Then she was saddened because she knew that this would mean nothing to him after a few hours. And then she just stopped thinking all together and surrendered to the superficial fantasy that was Irvine Kinneas. It bugged her that one guy could so easily dissolve her self-control, but she didn't care. Her arms rose around his neck and before she knew it, they were on the floor. Clinging to each other desperately. Still wrapped in the blue fabric.  
  
He moved down her neck, slowly trailing kisses over her collar bone as she stared at the skylight of the half decorated Quad, enjoying the starry night with the best looking guy in Garden.  
  
"Mm...Selphie..." Irvine whispered to her neck.  
  
"Irvine..." she replied, her voice thick with passion.  
  
"Selphie"  
  
"Irvine"  
  
"Selphie"  
  
"Zell...." Irvine broke away from her quickly.  
  
"ZELL!! What do you mean Zell?!"  
  
"Zell..." she repeated, gesturing to the left with her eyes. Following her pointed finger, Irvine turned to face the entrance of the Quad and sure enough, leaning against one of the columns for support was the blonde fighter...laughing his head off. It wasn't long before he was joined by Quistis, who was shielding her eyes from the sight of her two friends in the midst of a make out session.  
  
"Are you two done yet?" she asked, refusing to look. "Cause we've got orders from Cid to help you out with the decorating and I definitely don't want to see...anything."  
  
Irvine and Selphie laughed as they got up and began straightening their clothes. Neither embarrassed by what they had been caught doing.  
  
"Funny," Selphie began, picking up the tangled streamer while still laughing "that's the second time that's happen to me today."  
  
Irvine cocked an eyebrow questioningly. "And you call me a player?...two guys in one day?"  
  
Selphie giggled more as she shook her head, her brown hair bouncing. "Not me silly...I walked in on Squall and Rinoa in the conference room."  
  
This news seemed to thrill Zell and Irvine, for they both started chuckling feverishly. The thought of Robot, Colder-than-ice Commander Squall being caught with his pants down was quite entertaining to his two colleagues. Quistis didn't seem amused at all.  
  
"It's not funny" the assistant headmistress insisted, her anger obvious in her features. "If he gets caught who knows what Cid will do! Squall's being rather careless if you ask me."  
  
"Give the guy a break Quisty." Irvine bent down to help Selphie fold the fabric. "If you ask me this whole `not allowed dating' rule is pretty stupid...I mean, I guy does have his needs. Ow!" A candlestick had flown out of apparently no where and hit him on the head...coincidentally, Selphie was holding an empty candle holder.  
  
"He's allowed dating," Quistis clarified, retrieving the candle and giving it back to a fuming Selphie "he just not allowed dating Rinoa."  
  
Zell calculated this in his head, looking more and more confused the more he thought about it. "Is it just me, or does that not make any sense?"  
  
Irvine nodded, he too appearing as though he was faced with a complicated calculus problem. "I don't get it either...why not Rinoa? She's hot enough for..." he stopped talking as he saw Selphie raise her hand, armed with the staple gun this time.  
  
"We should never question Garden's orders. If he was told not to see Rinoa, he shouldn't be seeing Rinoa...it's as simple as that." Quistis snapped her fingers to emphasize her point.  
  
"But Quistis," Zell protested, leaving the column and stepping closer to where his friends were huddled "you shouldn't just follow orders when they're as stupid as this. Wasn't it you who taught us that?"  
  
"I know it sounds pointless, but I'm sure Cid has a perfectly good reason too..."  
  
"How would you feel," Selphie interrupted "if you were told, without explanation, that you had to stay away from the person you loved? What if you were forced to choose between the only home you've ever known and your soul mate? Does that seem fair?"  
  
Quistis hesitated before slowly shaking her head. *No...it's not fair that we can't be with the people we love* she thought to herself sadly. *It's not fair that Squall insists on loving Rinoa while risking his job, and refuses to love me even knowing how simple it would make things...it hurts...to know that he loves her THAT much, and despises me so.* Quistis couldn't stop to the tears from forming this time, she was in too deep with her thoughts and there was no turning back.  
  
"Excuse me," she said while turning away from her friends "I've got to see the headmaster about something."  
  
"But didn't you just say that the headmaster sent you here to decorate?" Selphie asked, praying that you wouldn't loose yet another helper with the ball in less than 24 hours.  
  
"I just remember about some reports I had to send him. I wont be long." And with that, she rushed off to the bathroom as fast as she could. By the time she got there, her face was already streaked with angry tears and her nose had swollen to a deep shade of red.  
  
"Looking good" she joked with herself silently, as she ran the hot water and splashed it on her face to clear her senses. *I shouldn't worry. Even though I don't know why, Cid made it perfectly clear that he didn't want Rinoa and Squall together. He seems to be way overprotective of Rinoa for that matter. Cid doesn't even let her outside of Garden to train, she's forced to use only the training center...I wonder what's with all the security.* The more Quistis thought about it, the more it bothered her, and the more it bothered her, the farther she became from her ultimate goal...Squall.  
  
*I don't care what Rinoa's secret is* she tried to convince herself while drying her face with a towel and checking in the mirror to make sure there was no sign that she had been crying. *As long as in the end I get Squall, it doesn't matter. Rinoa can go to hell. Tomorrow night he's my date. And tomorrow night I'll make him see what everyone else does...that he and I are meant to be together.*  
  
With a satisfied smiled at her reflection, Quistis returned to the Quad to see that Selphie's helpers had returned and the whole place was bustling in preparation of the festivities. Selphie stood in the center of it all, ordering people around and criticizing the way they hung the flowers or yelling that the streamers were crooked and the table should be on the other side of the room. Quistis could tell she was having the time of her life, even while fending off Irvine who constantly smacked her ass every time he walked by, which was frequently. Selphie looked ready to either jump him or beat him to a bloody pulp whenever she caught his eye. This made the blonde instructor laugh for the first time in days. It felt good to laugh.  
  
Selphie, noticing that Quistis arrived, quickly gestured for her to come over.  
  
"Can you believe him!" she bellowed, pointing at a smirking Irvine who was at the moment helping Zell move furniture. "He is such a prick!"  
  
"Aww you like it Seffie, admit it!" she smiled as she watched Irvine walk into a post because he was to busy staring at Selphie.  
  
"I don't like anything about him!" she paused to review her statement. "Okay maybe he's gorgeous and maybe he's fun to be with and maybe I really want him but that doesn't change the fact that he's a prick!"  
  
"So in summary...you like pricks?"  
  
"Darn tootin I do...that prick anyway. Oh god Quistis I need help!"  
  
"It's okay Selphie calm down...here's what you do," she held the bouncing brunette by the shoulders as she practiced her breathing exercises. "You go to the ball with him. You have a blast. He falls completely head over heals in love with you forgetting that all other women exist and then you live happily ever after k?"  
  
Selphie eyed Quistis strangely before shrugging and letting the odd feeling pass. "Sounds like a plan...not a very realistic plan but a plan all the same."  
  
"Oh it's real all right..." the blonde had that mischievous gleam in her eye that Selphie had got to know all to well over the years. That wicked sparkle that meant she was up to no good. "Tomorrow night, both our dreams will come true."  
  
~*~  
  
Cid fell back in his chair, rubbing his temples in frustration after yet another long evening of reading and signing contracts. But the fact that his fingers felt like they were going to fall off and his head throbbed as though it had been hit by thundaga wasn't what was bothering the headmaster.  
  
He hated to be put into such a position...the one forced by duty to keep a young couple apart just because she was a sorceress. Squall must hate him now, as he had hated all the white SeeD's and Esthar scientists who had tried to take Edea away all those years ago. He had fought for his wife, and her harassers had left Cid with a warning which he chose to ignore for ten years until it was too late. There was no doubt in his mind that Squall may attempt to do the same. But he wouldn't let that happen, he couldn't let that happen...not again.  
  
The headmaster was torn from his thoughts by a gentle knocking on the door. *Oh great* he thought, looking at his watch with a sigh, 1:34 am. Who would dare bother him at this ungodly hour? It was way past curfew and students out of bed wouldn't have been able to use the elevator without being caught by the disciplinary committee.  
  
"Come in." he yelled at the door. "This better be good because I..." he paused as a woman of excessive beauty entered his office, leaving him stunned. She wore a plain black frock and her hair was left un-styled and loose around her shoulders, but she was still elegant. She very walk suggested she was almost floating like an angel.  
  
"Edea..." he whispered as she strode over to his desk. "Wha...what are you doing here?"  
  
Matron wrung her hands nervously, her eyes focused on his phone of all things in the large office. "I came as soon as I heard."  
  
Cid's face became a mask of confusion. "Heard what?"  
  
As if on cue, the telephone rang. It's assaulting tone echoing eerily throughout the room. Edea picked up the receiver and slowly handed it to her husband. "He's looking for her." Was all she said as he accepted the phone and gingerly place in to his ear.  
  
"Headmaster speaking" he said in a voice he hoped sounded calm.  
  
"Headmaster. It's me...Nida" Cid bolted upright in his chair. Nida was on mission as a spy in Galbadia. He wouldn't of called unless...  
  
"He began the search a few hours ago. Balamb is first on the list but luckily it will take them a while to locate Garden. You have 24 hours, 26 at most. I suggest you get her out of there."  
  
Cid sat in shock for a few seconds, never truly believing that this day would ever come. But it had...another sorceress' war had begun.  
  
"Sir?" Nida asked, concerned by his silence.  
  
"I'm here, sorry." He took a deep breath to regain his senses when he felt Edea reach over his desk and carefully take his hand in hers. This gave him strength. "We'll make the arrangements for Rinoa to leave. Thank you Nida."  
  
"Anytime sir."  
  
"And Nida?"  
  
"Yes sir?"  
  
"Get the hell out of there. Galbadia is the last place a SeeD such as yourself wants to be at the moment you understand?"  
  
He could here the young pilot's breath quicken on the other line. "I'll be careful...but sir, if anything happens to me I wan..." (click)...the line went dead.  
  
Cid's heart jumped in his throat as the dial tone rang endlessly in his ear. Edea heard it too and they both knew what it meant...Nida was gone. One of many that will surely perish. Just for one girl...it was all for her...and her power  
  
Edea hugged her husband closely, wishing that she could erase the last 20 years and killed herself when she had the chance, maybe everything would of turned out differently then. Maybe she could have somehow found a way to bring the sorceress' powers with her when she died. Before she knew it, Edea was crying.  
  
"Shh...it's not your fault," he said softly, stroking her long hair. "There was nothing you could have done." She had gotten used to this by now, his being able to practically read her thoughts. At times like this it was a comfort to know that someone understood her completely. "They won't take her. I won't let them take her and Squall won't either. I'd rather she go to the moon than back with her father."  
  
Edea nodded against his shoulder. Poor Rinoa...so young, so free, so innocent to what's going on, thinking her biggest problem is who's her next date for the ball. How will she take it? Knowing that from now on she has to go into hiding? Or go into hiding until she obtains her powers and then be sent off into space. What a pointless life that would be.  
  
Would she be able to handle it?  
  
Or will the sorceress snap and gladly join her father in his crusade to rule the world where she can at least do whatever she wants?  
  
Edea curled up closer to her husband, seeking warmth from the chilling thoughts that were plaguing her mind.  
  
What will Rinoa do? 


	6. Diamond Rings and Decisions

(Author's Note: Yey! I got reviews and I'm now really happy and to make up for the past week of neglect on my story because of school, I intend to do at least 2 chapters during my long weekend. As usual, I would like to thank Alex and Sacha, my two fellow fanfic friends even though they don't really care (you guys suck!). Purple Rose, my inspiration. Optical Goddess for her support and Tiger5913, for her MANY kind reviews. Thank you all. And Sophie, ill later write a scene on grass just for you k? This is an inside joke for all of you who are really confused right now. Thank you thank you thank you)  
  
(Just to pick up where I left off. At first, I meant this to be a pure romance fluff fic, but for some reason its turning into a full fledged angst story which was not my intent since I suck at writing those. So, hopefully, in the following chapters, I will go back to the fluff while keeping my original story line since this would be an even more idiotic story if I just left it like that. So, for those of you who were anticipating the fluff I promised in chapter one, chapter 7 is going to be `the ball'...pure lovey dovey. Thank you for being patient.)  
  
*~Chapter 6~*  
  
Lipstick, High heels, Diamond Rings and Decisions  
  
Zell sighed in impatience as he continued picking at an old piece of hot dog residue wedged in his teeth. He had been siting on the newly built air pad extension for over an hour and he was getting more than bored. *Where is he?* the blonde fighter questioned, when finally giving up on the hot dog skin and standing up to start his usual hobby of shadow boxing.  
  
It wasn't long before a loud humming began to fill his ears, the far sound of a high powered jet. It got louder and louder until Zell could see the distinct outline of a massive air vehicle hovering on the horizon...the Ragnarok...finally.  
  
The incredible ship, silhouetted against the rising sun, slowed down to a crawl as it neared Garden, it's landing gear extended and slowly but surely, it lowered onto the airship landing extension.  
  
Zell stuffed his hands in his pockets, trying to warm them from the chill of dawn and cautiously made his way towards the Ragnarok. He watched in fascination when the many lights and gears shut down and the ramp lowered to the make shift runway, allowing the single pilot to shuffle back down to solid ground.  
  
"Where the hell have you been?" Zell demanded to the descending figure, his arms loaded with bags of purchases. The pilot paused for a moment, squinting in the dim light to identify his harasser. Seeing it was no one more threatening than his friend Zell, he continued down the ramp, ignoring him.  
  
"Hello!" Zell followed him off of the landing pad and back into the corridors of Garden. "You can't just take the Ragnarok of all ships off on a pleasure cruise in the middle of the night! Especially without notifying the air authorities! What were you thinking?!"  
  
"I'm the Commander" Squall replied emotionlessly, shifting his bags to his right hand as he searched his pockets for the card key that would allow him to use the elevators after curfew. "I can do whatever I want."  
  
Zell scowled. "Just because you're Commander doesn't mean you can throw around the rules like this. It's not like you."  
  
"Whatever." Squall drummed his fingers on the wall impatiently as he waited for the lift to arrive; doing his best to ignore Zell who refused to give up.  
  
"What's wrong Squall?" He insisted, firmly crossing his arms over his chest, a sign that he wasn't leaving any time soon. "And don't say `nothing or `whatever' cause something is obviously up."  
  
Squall almost laughed, but contained himself. Of course something was up! He was about to literally destroy everything he had worked for up until now by eloping with Rinoa. No sane man wouldn't be bothered by that thought. I mean, would anyone who ever met him even think that he would ELOPE! Words like that didn't belong in the same sentence as Squall Leonhart. It was strange and wonderful miracle. One that he knew most people would surely find entertaining. Squall's drumming became more incessant as he pondered what to say to get him off his back.  
  
He couldn't tell him.  
  
He couldn't tell anyone or they would try to stop him. Try to make him see sense and the only thing he wanted to see was Rinoa...and their future together.  
  
"I'm just stressed..." he verbally improvised "I needed a little time to myself...to unwind. You understand?"  
  
Zell smiled, glad that Squall had so readily admitted something to him. Interpreting the lie as a sign that they were getting closer as friends, Zell gingerly place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, squeezing it slightly in moral support. Squall tried not to flinch or punch him, as were his instincts.  
  
*Only one more day* he reminded himself *one more day and I'm free of this...people trying to get me to open up all the time. When all I want is to be left alone. Alone with her.*  
  
"I understand" Zell whispered. "Just next time, tell someone before you take a spin on a 3 billion gil aircraft...Xu would of killed me for not keeping a better eye on it."  
  
The elevator finally arrived, and the two men strode in, both heading to their dorms on the new 4^th floor for the elite SeeD.  
  
"Need help with one of those?' the blonde fighter asked when they arrived, gesturing to the many bags Squall held, peering into a half open one. Curious to what was so important to Squall that he had to go out in the middle of the night to get it. "Clothes?" he exclaimed in shock, noticing that many of the bags contained nothing more than casual men's wear. "What? Are you planning a five year vacation or something?"  
  
"Something like that." Squall shrugged, gathering the bags on his own and quickly scurrying down the hall, trying to make it as obvious as possible that he didn't care to continue the conversation.  
  
"I suggest you get some sleep!" Zell yelled down the corridor from the intersection of hallways since his own room was in the opposite direction. "You look like hell." And with that, he left, sure that he wouldn't be getting any more information and confident that nothing was seriously wrong.  
  
Squall tiptoed the rest of the way, fumbling noiselessly with the keycard to his room and desperate for no one else to discover he had gone out. Throwing the bags inside, Squall carefully closed the door behind him and went to sit on his bed, his purchases on the floor at his feet where he could double check that he had everything. This whole thing made him extremely paranoid, constantly nervous that someone would somehow get inside his head, discover his plans and reveal them to Cid, who would surely do something drastic to prevent his commander from `kidnapping' the sorceress.  
  
After all the trials and debates the headmaster had gotten into to convince the world council that Rinoa's powers were dormant for a while and she would be totally secure in Garden, to think what would happen if she went missing?...  
  
Cid would be forced to retire from the job he created for himself...Garden would lose its hard earned reputation and the world would turn its hostility to it instead of the lost sorceress.... And he, Squall, would be a wanted man all over the world for the highest of all treason...  
  
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.  
  
The only thing that would really change is that they'd be able to have a public relationship but in hiding. What was the point in that?  
  
Squall shook these thoughts of doubt from his mind. It was too late now anyway. He had already gathered and arranged everything so that he and Rinoa could live a peaceful life on the coast near Winhill...his hometown. Hard to think of anything besides Garden being called his home but he had, in fact, been born there. It was only natural that he went there to start his own new life.  
  
Picking up the nearest bag from his foot, Squall began digging through its contents for his most important purchase. This bag was from the bank, and held about 6 billions gil in cash and a few fake identifications. He had withdrew everything that he had earned from his account since he became a SeeD, and that was A LOT of money considering that, besides an occasional box of bullets for his gunblade, he never had the need to buy anything. It was more than enough to start anew until they got settled. But that wasn't what he was looking for...  
  
It wasn't long before, buried underneath the bills, he saw a small, black, velvet box.  
  
Drawing a rattling breath, Squall slowly pulled out the case, almost as if he were afraid it would suddenly spring to life and bite him. Though he knew very well that it wasn't the box he was afraid of, it was what it symbolized. A never ending bond between two people...a pledge of eternal devotion...something more frightening than Ultimecia herself.  
  
Firmly gripping the top cover with his fingers, he opened it, revealing a beautiful platinum engagement ring. The stone itself was beautifully cut in the shape of a four-pointed diamond, which glimmered in the dim light of his room like an actual shooting star. He remembered seeing it in a shop a year ago and immediately thinking about how Rinoa would love it. Seconds later he had literally ran away from it as fast as possible, scared about even thinking about Rinoa and an engagement ring.  
  
The sight of the ring seemed to ease his nerves a little, and he couldn't help but smile as he carefully took it out of its case and read the inscription.  
  
`Forever...I promise'.  
  
No, he was no longer afraid of marriage, as long as it was to the most caring, intimate and beautiful woman in the world. His Rinoa...Mrs. Leonhart...he actually liked the sound of that.  
  
Returning the ring to its case, Squall fell back into his bed, the rare smile still stuck to his face. *Tonight...* he thought happily *After tonight nothing will ever be the same again.*  
  
He was going to go to the ball, do his best to avoid any contact with Laguna, make his `speech', propose to Rinoa and then...before anyone had time to blink...they would be well on their way.  
  
With these reassuring thoughts floating through his mind, it wasn't long before the tired Commander of SeeD fell into a deep and pleasant sleep. The first he had had in years.  
  
~*~  
  
"Rinoa?..."  
  
She heard a voice calling...sounding vaguely familiar and yet so foreign and far away.  
  
"Rinoa!..." It continued to taunt, getting louder with every passing second.  
  
"Leave me alone..." she muttered to the voice, roughly pressing her pillow to her ear in an attempt to block out to sound.  
  
"RINOA!! GET UP!!" She had no choice in the matter when she felt the comforter she was wrapped up in, be yanked off her bed along with her body, the entire heap crashing to the floor.  
  
"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Selphie asked the struggling pile of sheets and limbs on the ground. "You missed more than half of your classes already!"  
  
Rinoa groaned...classes...she forgot about those. A year of them and she still forgot. What a great SeeD she would make.  
  
Refusing to remove herself from the warm quilt, Rinoa's arm fumbled on her nightstand for her battery operate clock. Bringing it to her face, the glowing red number stared at her menacingly.  
  
2:36 PM...shit.  
  
"All your instructors have been harassing me all day to find you and of course I look every where but your room cause the ever-so-diligent Rinoa Heartilly is never late unless she was in some fatal accident or something and I was so worried!" She bent down next to her friend, pulling the sheets off of her face. Rinoa winced at the sudden exposure to light but didn't protest as Selphie examined her, aggressively twisting her head this way and that so that just in case her neck wasn't broken, it would be soon. "Hmm...well you look all right to me. So you better have a good excuse girl!"  
  
Rinoa brought her hand to her head with a sigh. "Squall...need I say more."  
  
"Oh...him again." Automatically guessing that this was going to take awhile, Selphie seated herself next to Rinoa cross-legged, signally that she was ready to listen and knowing that the spirited black haired girl always wanted to talk about what was bothering her.  
  
Last night, after what seemed like countless hours of crying and pondering, Rinoa had only gotten to sleep at around 3 in the morning. Even if she had remember to set an alarm, she didn't think she would have paid attention to it. She was more likely to become Garden's new commander than actually pay attention to a stupid clock that buzzed annoyingly only to force her into another day of endless lessons on the top ten ways to disembowel someone with maximum pain. Torture, that what this all was...sheer torture.  
  
"So what'd he do this time?" she asked, annoyed herself that Squall was so harsh towards her friend. "Forget an anniversary? Going to fast? Going to slow (which is more likely)? He's too reserved? He's boring? He wouldn't know a romantic gesture if one hit him in the head? Take your pick. I've got more."  
  
Rinoa shook her head at all of these suggestions. "Nothing," she replied in a pained voice "he's done absolutely nothing." Her actual relationship with Squall, when they had one, was nothing less than perfect. Behind closed doors he was a romantic, he did open up about his feelings, and she was attracted to him like a moth to a flame. But only behind closed doors...that was the problem.  
  
It didn't take long for Selphie to decipher the answer. Everyone who wasn't a complete idiot could tell they had a relationship, and those who looked deeper into it could tell that that relationship was teetering on the edge of annihilation.  
  
"I'm sorry Rinoa." She sympathized, rubbing her back sisterly like. "But you can't blame him for following orders. It's what he does. It's like his mission in life...to become the first human robot."  
  
Rinoa laughed while trying to hold back tears. A human robot...it described him perfectly.  
  
(`Squall, go jump off a cliff'-Cid  
  
`Yes sir!')  
  
"It's just so aggravating!" Rinoa threw her pillow across the room in frustration. "He won't even tell me why! Say's its (quote unquote) `top secret'. Most of the time I only go to meet him with the intent of breaking it off but then he..." a small smile suddenly found its way to her lips as she reminisced about her and Squall's encounters. The passion in a single kiss, the way he laughs, and his beautiful blue-gray eyes, as flawless as the sky itself.  
  
"He's just so perfect! So damn perfect that I can't bear to let him go even if he is an idiot." Rinoa sighed as she slowly sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. "Or maybe I'm the idiot for expecting him to change."  
  
Selphie only smiled and put reassuring hand on her shoulder. "There's a fine line between being an idiot and being in love." Rinoa paused, and considered this for a moment. Strangely, those were the most reassuring and wise words she had ever heard.  
  
"I'll give him one more chance." She decided. "I love him but I don't want to waste my life being his secret mistress. I know it may be selfish but I want more than that."  
  
"You DESERVE more than that." Selphie grinned once more before heading to the door, pausing at the threshold. "Have a shower and I'll be back in an hour to get ready for the ball. If you're going to be bargaining for the love of your life you may as well help the cause by looking gorgeous."  
  
Rinoa laughed and nodded to her giddy friend. "Thank you. This has helped more than you'll ever know." Selphie nodded in return then exited into the hallway, closing the door behind her.  
  
Gathering her blanket from the floor, Rinoa began making her bed and cleaning up her dorm. It was rarely a mess but after last night's little tantrum, it looked like a tornado had hit Balamb Garden. *Tonight...* she thought while tucking the sheets into her mattress *after tonight, things will be different. For better or for worse*  
  
~*~  
  
The bell rang at last, interrupting her speech on junctioning status effect, not that she cared. The great mass of students quickly began filing their notes into their binders and stuffing then in their bags, just as anxious as she was to get out of last period and begin preparing for tonight's festivities. It was, after all, in her and her friends' honor. She didn't want to show up looking like a rag doll.  
  
"Don't forget I want your report on elemental magic is due on Monday" she yelled over the noise of scraping chairs and closing zippers. "And next week is the written exam for all those who are confident and skilled enough to apply for SeeD this year. Good luck and have fun tonight."  
  
Quistis waited as her usual throng of fans approached her desk and began asking her pointless questions like "what time are you going to show up at?" and "what will you be wearing" and one boy even had the nerve to ask what color her underwear was going to be. Trepies Squall called them, and ever since then she had tried to get rid of them all but couldn't find the heart to reject people whom admired her so much.  
  
So, with the simple excuse that she still had papers to grade, Quistis excused herself from the group and began to make her way to her dorm on the fourth floor. She didn't know why it was like their goal to have a little social interaction with her at least once a day. It was kind of sad how they always flocked to her, and it destroyed whatever respect she had once had with her students. There had only been two exceptions in her lifetime. Two people who wouldn't care less what color of underwear she was wearing and this, of course, left her with an unsurpassable urge to MAKE them care.  
  
Seifer and Squall.  
  
Seifer was an all around asshole so she could care less about what he thought cause he was a jerk to everyone and anyone. But Squall, he was different. He was the kind of guy that women were immediately attracted to, and one whom made a girl desperately want to discover what he was guarding so closely...his heart.  
  
She had tried of course. Many had tried. But only one had succeeded...Rinoa.  
  
Even her name alone made Quistis snarl in anger as she stepped out of the elevator. *What does she have that I don't?* Quistis wondered as she made her way to Selphie's dorm, where the bouncy brunette had promised to help her with her hair. Yes Rinoa was beautiful, but then so was she. What more did the guy want?  
  
Quistis knocked loudly on Selphie's door, venting a bit of her rage on the hard wood. *It doesn't matter. After tonight, things will change. I will show him what he's been missing for the last few years and he will give up on that prissy little girl once and for all in exchange for a real woman. A woman with experience beyond his wildest dreams.* The blonde smiled to herself as she listened to Selphie start on the first of many locks guarding her door. *After tonight...he'll be mine.*  
  
"Quistis!" Selphie exclaimed, as she was finally able to open the door a crack, still held by the security chain. "What are you doing here?" She seemed a little out of breath, which was odd for though hyper, Selphie always managed to look tamed. But at the moment her hair was disheveled and her usual, short yellow dress was twisted oddly.  
  
"Am I interrupting something?" Quistis asked with a sly smile, pretty sure she knew exactly what she was interrupting. Easily peering over the head of the short brunette, Quistis could swear she saw the distinct silhouette of a cowboy hat on the floor of the darkened room.  
  
Selphie, determined not to reveal her actions, quickly undid the security chain and stepped outside in the corridor, closing the door behind her. "I was just...cleaning" she obviously lied, but Quistis didn't care to pursue the subject. "So, for what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"  
  
"Well, I was wondering when you wanted to start on my hair..." Selphie was Garden's only known stylist and everyone immediately rushed to her the moment a special occasion of some sort was announced. Quistis, because of her second job as assistance headmistress, always knew about parties and balls at least a day before they were announced and therefor went through much trouble to get a hold of Selphie before anyone else could.  
  
But Selphie, by her look of shock, had obviously forgotten this. "Oh Hyne! Quistis I totally forgot I am so sorry!"  
  
"It's quite alright..." she replied casually. So she forgot, no harm done. "I just wanted to know when..."  
  
"No Quistis you don't understand. I COMPLETELY forgot and I kinda...I kinda promised someone else I'd help them out."  
  
Quistis still didn't waver. If it came down to a choice between one of her best friends and some random student, she had total faith that Selphie would choose her. "Well tell them that you're very sorry but you can't make it."  
  
Selphie didn't even take the time to consider this option before she shook her head. "I can't do that. Rinoa's really down lately and needs all the help she can get."  
  
Quistis' eyes visibly flashed at the sound of her rival's name. Rinoa...first she steal's her guy and now she steals the hairstyle she was going to get in order to takethe guy back. *Well of course she needs all the help she can get!* Quistis decided mentally *If I hair like that, I'd be wearing a wig! Besides, Squall prefers more natural women. Even though I always enjoy getting dolled up, it only matters that I look attractive to him and only him.*  
  
"It's okay Selphie," Quistis reassured her. "Go help Rinoa, I'll do fine on my own."  
  
"Oh thank you!" she exclaimed happily giving her blonde friend a big bear hug. "I was so afraid you'd be mad at me."  
  
"I don't think it's possible to stay mad at you." Quistis replied with a charming smile. "Now you can return to...whatever you were doing in there."  
  
Selphie blushed, before giggling and hastily backing into her room, slamming the door. Only once out of sight did Quistis' face fall in disappointment. Her hate for Rinoa seemed to grow with every passing second.  
  
~*~  
  
"Yes...yes sir. That would be perfect. Thank you Mr. President." Cid paced in front of his desk as his wife finish the phone call with the president of Esthar, sir Laguna. The one who had control over the activities of the team of scientists and astronauts that had guarded the previous sorceress, Adel.  
  
"What did he say?" Cid asked anxiously.  
  
"I know of a secret area around Centra where we can take her. Laguna assured us that Tears Point's scientist will be ready if she prematurely comes into her powers. Or if Carraway gets to close to discovering us, I will take her myself."  
  
"So you're going with her then?"  
  
Edea nodded sadly, taking her husband's hand in her own. "I have no place here Cid. I love you, but like Rinoa, I will always be seen as a threat. We will be happy there, Rinoa is like a daughter to me and she always will be."  
  
"Can you at least tell me where you're going? That way if an emergency arises..."  
  
"No Cid," she interrupted. "No one can know. You understand? This is of the utmost importance that not one living soul discovers our whereabouts."  
  
"I understand." He looked upon his wife with a new respect as he pulled her out of the chair into a soft embrace. Hyne she was beautiful, and so strong, always doing what she thinks is right no matter what the consequences.  
  
"Promise me you'll be careful." He whispers in her ear and she nods against his shoulder, sobbing lightly.  
  
"We should leave by dawn. A car is better more inconspicuous than the Ragnarok. Your job is to get her to the parking lot by dawn. By any means you have to."  
  
"I'll do what is necessary. I promise."  
  
~*~  
  
"There! Perfect." Selphie stepped back to admire her work as Rinoa stared in the mirror. Overly concerned about her appearance tonight she kept constantly pulling at her blood red strapless dress and blending the corner of her eyeliner till it was almost unnoticeable.  
  
"You look fine!" Selphie assure her friend, holding her hands to her sides so that she couldn't perform any more damage. "Trust me, Squall will fall over backwards when he sees you! And I'm sorry to say that if he doesn't, then he's most definitely gay."  
  
Rinoa laughed and hugged her in appreciation. "Thank you so much Seffie. I bet Quistis wasn't too happy when you told her you promised to help me."  
  
Selphie shrugged. "She'll get over it. Besides, you didn't know about the appointment, there's no way she can logically blame you."  
  
"Oh she'll find away. Trust me, she always does."  
  
Selphie waved the information aside as she picked up two pairs of strappy black sandals and tried one on each foot, trying to compare. "You shouldn't let her get to you." She stated while sifting her weight from one foot to the other. "It's not like she'd have a chance with Squall even if you weren't going out with him. She's just not his type given her reputation and all..."  
  
Rinoa gave her friend a questioning glance. "What reputation?"  
  
"You mean you don't know?" Selphie turned away from the mirror to face her, a look of pure astonishment on her face.  
  
Rinoa sighed and shook her head. This officially confirmed her fears that she was the most anti-social person in all of Garden. It seemed she wouldn't have been informed even if the sky were falling.  
  
"Well..." Selphie started, seeming a little awkward. "Let's just say she's gotten around." She said with a wink.  
  
Rinoa, however, didn't seem to catch on. "What do you mean?" she asked, oblivious to what her friend was getting at.  
  
Selphie fidgeted more. "Umm...let's say she's experienced in the bedroom."  
  
She shrugged, still not getting it to the annoyance of Selphie. "Cripes Rinoa! I'm not going to spell it out for you!" But the black haired girl simply shrugged again and gave up, still in the dark on what the big secret was, thinking she was destined not to ever know what was going on. But if it had to do with Quistis, she could care less.  
  
Selphie however, being a gossip queen, couldn't help but spill the beans even though it was embarrassing to say about her own friend. "To tell the truth Rinoa...Quistis is kinda...she's kinda..." she began to giggle "I'll just say it...she's kind of a slut."  
  
"What!?" this had been that last thing Rinoa had expected Selphie of all people to say. Sure Quistis was known for her fondness of partying and enjoying the company of high-class men but Rinoa never considered her sleeping around. It was pretty hard to believe. "You're joking." She concluded with a laugh, but Selphie remained serious and shook her head.  
  
"She actually gloats about it at times...I guess since Squall rejects her she's desperate to prove that she can have anyone she wants." Selphie seemed amused at the shocked look on Rinoa's face and took it as a sign for more information. "Everybody knows." She said as if it were a fact. "At least the students do (I don't think the Garden masters would be too happy with her extra curricular activities) and, this may just be a rumor, but she's supposed to be VERY good. There isn't a guy in Garden who would resist her. She has these tricks and things that..."  
  
"I don't wanna know." Rinoa interrupted, falling back on her bed, thoroughly disturbed by the conversation. Selphie just shrugged and continued her mirror gazing while troubling thoughts plagued Rinoa.  
  
Had the blonde already tried anything with Squall? If not, she surely would soon. What would he do? Would he be able to resist? Had it already happened?  
  
The sorceress hugged herself in consolation as she tried to push these ideas and images from her mind but they kept on resurfacing. Would he do to Quistis what he wouldn't do to her?  
  
No, she wasn't what anyone would call seductive or tempting. Quistis would be described as just that by many. Sure Squall had tried to get further with her whenever they met, but it was never really his top priority. They would always get interrupted and then wouldn't try again till much later. Maybe he didn't want her at all...what sane guy would when they had someone like Quistis fawning over them...It made sense. If he were sleeping with Quistis then he wouldn't want anyone to know about their relationship. Was that the `top secret' reason?  
  
"I wouldn't worry about it," said Selphie reassuringly, noticing that Rinoa had been silent for a while now. "I've known him most of my life and Squall wouldn't go for someone like her. Especially when he has you."  
  
"Are you sure?" she asked. Squall may act like a robot but he was still a man after all. "I mean...most guys would jump at the chance to..."  
  
"Need I remind you that Squall isn't like most guys. And you are not like most girls. Trust me."  
  
Rinoa nodded and decided that she wouldn't think about it until she got a chance to speak to Squall in person. He always had a way of banishing all feelings of doubt from her mind and she needed her strength tonight...for if he still refused to tell Garden then...  
  
Rinoa looked over to the open suitcase beside her bed where half her clothes were already packed and ready to go, a train ticket to timber tomorrow afternoon was tucked inside the front pocket and she had a spot at medical school already reserved. This would hopefully discourage her from remaining in Garden if he refused her. She prepared for the worst since she really didn't expect Squall to change his mind. Still, the glimmer of hope was still glowing faintly in the back of her mind.  
  
Maybe...not only would he announce that they were in love but he'd quit his job as Commander and whisk her away from this awful place...and then they'd get married and have 3 children along with a modest house in some small little village and then...yeah right.  
  
Like that was going to happen. The chances of Squall doing anything of that proportion were so remote that they could be placed in the negative percentile. There was less than 0% chance of any girl ever having a normal family life with that man in particular.  
  
It didn't matter though. All she wanted was to get rid of the secrecy. Once that was over, they would take things one step at a time.  
  
"So are you really gonna go?" Selphie asked, breaking her stream of thoughts and gesturing to the suitcase and emptied drawers.  
  
Rinoa sighed and nodded. "I don't want to but I can't stay here. I don't belong...you understand don't you?"  
  
Selphie said nothing as she looked away and tried to hold back tears. "I understand...and I'll miss you." She fell to her knees in front of Rinoa, who was still sitting on her bed, and gave her a big bear hug, squeezing with almost inhuman force. "You know he's an idiot if he doesn't choose you. Cause you are beautiful my friend."  
  
Lacking the oxygen to do much else, Rinoa patted her on the back gratefully, signaling to get off before she suffocates. "Enough of this depressing crap..." Selphie said, pulling away and still trying to determine which shoe looked better. "I don't know about you but I vow to have fun tonight. Promise me you'll have fun."  
  
"I promise." Rinoa said with a smile. And that was one promise she meant to keep.  
  
"So back to more important matters. Which do you think Irvine would like?" she lifted one leg and then the other to model each shoe with her dark blue outfit.  
  
"So you are going with Irvine?"  
  
"Well, he came to my room after last period today and practically begged me to come with him. He was on his knees with flowers and everything! In the middle of the busy hallway! How could I say no?"  
  
Rinoa laughed through a pang of jealousy. "I wish Squall would do something that reckless. He's scared to even tap me on the shoulder if it's not behind a locked and securely bolted door."  
  
"Aww but do not fear my friend. After tonight, he'll expose himself to the world!" she paused and took a moment to reflect on that statement as Rinoa giggled. "Not that I want to see him...exposed. But, I meant in a metaphorical sense of course. Though I wouldn't mind a little peak cause the way a shirt hangs off that man makes a girl wonder...but you no what, I'm going to shut up now." Selphie hastily turned back to her mirror gazing, finally deciding on the right, platform sandal, muttering something about how damn tall Irvine was. "Okay! I'm ready." She said before offering her arm to Rinoa. "Shall we?"  
  
~*~  
  
`Rinoa...I've loved you since the...no'  
  
`Rinoa...we've been together for a year now and though that year has sucked I wanted to ask you to...uh uh'  
  
`Rinoa...I really want you...oh Hyne, now I'm sounding like Irvine'  
  
Squall paced in the elevator as it descended to the ground floor. The ball had started about an hour and a half ago and with the excuse that he wanted to be `fashionably late' Squall had stayed in his room ad long as possible, trying to detain this moment a little longer. But Selphie had called him to inquire about his inability to show at the party held in his honor and that she had worked so hard to organize and blah blah blah. He had made the mistake of answering the phone and now had to face the consequences.  
  
All too soon, the annoying bell rang that signified he had landed. Nervously fiddling with the ring in his pocket, he stepped into the dark hallway. Even from the elevator he could hear the music blaring for the nearby Quad and, by the amount of exaggerated laughter, he decided that the champagne too had already been opened.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Squall his first step out onto the hallway. It took him all of a minute to get fully out of the elevator and the doors closing behind him signaled his doom.  
  
Two people awaited him in that ballroom.  
  
There was Laguna who would surely spend the entire night chasing him around for a chance to talk and then there was Rinoa...beautiful sweet Rinoa...who was begging to be let in his heart but still out of arms reach. Tonight everything would change for him.  
  
Tonight he was starting over and turning his back on everything he had once stood for. Tonight...tonight it would all end and begin at the same time...  
  
*I can't do this* he realized, quickly turning around and desperately pushing to button to summon the elevator once more. Obediently, then lift arrived not 20 seconds after he called for it, but to his displeasure, it was occupied.  
  
"Squall!" exclaimed a hyper Zell, throwing his arm around him. "Don't we look good! Think we could pass for twins?" He gestured to their matching uniforms and laughed at his own pathetic excuse for a joke.  
  
"I was just going to my room to get something," Squall protested, trying to break free of the fighter's stiff hold and catch the empty lift. But Zell held tight.  
  
"You're not going anywhere Commander Leonhart. I know you too well. You only decided to show up cause you promised Selphie just to get her to shut up and now that you actually get down here you come to the conclusion that it's stupid and pointless so you want to go back and shut yourself in your room. On a scale of one to ten how close am I?"  
  
*Pretty close.* Squall admitted in his thoughts, but didn't say anything aloud. *You're just missing that I'm about to have a nervous breakdown cause I'm proposing to a girl that my job entitles me to stay away from and who also happens to be a sorceress hunted down by her power hungry father. And, not to mention, my own father who had abandoned me before I was born is now looking for a new relationship and practically stalking me. But other than that, you're pretty close.*  
  
"Look," Zell began, looking him straight in the eye. Squall could feel a lecture coming on. "Upper class society partying isn't exactly my idea of fun. I'd choose a keg and a bunch of strippers any day instead of a cocktail reception." Squall rolled his eyes, trying hard not to paint the ugly picture Zell, a keg, and a bunch of stripers would make. "But Selphie assured me, that this is pretty much a `young people's party'. That's what she wanted in the first place but with the time and money she way demanding for it, Cid insisted it be a little classy. We'll go, we'll dine with the leaders of the world as they congratulate us, we'll be fawned over by many beautiful women, we'll listen to some boring speeches and then we'll party! So, just bear with me for a while and if you're bored out of your mind in an hour, then I'll convince a `drunk off her ass' Selphie to let you go. Deal?"  
  
Squall took another deep breath and unconsciously put his hand in his pocket to feel for the ring, squeezing it tightly in his fist for strength. "Let's go," he said to Zell, who excitedly slapped him on the back.  
  
"Alright! Look out ladies, here we come!" and together they walked to the Quad. 


	7. Just Another Girl

*Author's Notes* Okay Okay...I'm soo sorry for the long wait but it's 8 o'clock Saturday morning and I intend to finish this chapter before 12...or maybe 1...or maybe 2...whatever. I WILL finish it before tomorrow morning that I am certain. Again I apologize for the REALLY long wait in between chapters. But I'm really desperate for this one to make up for the crappiness of the last ones so for about two weeks now I've been begging for ideas, writing notes on what I think should happen, comparing plots and so on. So here I go to finally put it on paper...or pixels or whatever (*take a deep breath*). Wish me luck! I'm gonna need it.  
  
*IMPORTANT FOR PREVIOUS READERS* Oh and by the way...during the days when I really had no idea what to do in this chapter, I spent my time editing the previous ones and therefore making some changes. If you are too lazy to go back and re-read these changes (I made them on February 13^th so only read this if you read the story before that date) I'll just summarize what has happened that didn't before. First of all, I put this whole little side story Laguna. The ball is now the one-year anniversary ball for the defeat of Utlimecia and Laguna is coming to try to rebuild his relationship with Squall who has been avoiding him since he found he was his father. And then there's Quistis' `reputation' I added...I kinda made Quistis a bit of a slut (sorry to those Quistis fans) who is trying to race Rinoa in seducing him. And lastly, Rinoa has fully prepared to leave Garden the next day if Squall doesn't reveal their relationship. That's all the major changes I made so don't worry  
about being lost or anything.  
  
~*Chapter 7*~  
  
Just Another Girl  
  
"Just another name in your little black book,  
  
Just another face in the crowd and it's got me shook.  
  
I've got to mean a little more to you than a space in the list of your things to do  
  
You can call me crazy. Call me insecure  
  
But I don't want to be...just another girl"  
  
-Monica  
  
It had been no more than two hours since the ball began and already it seemed like it couldn't end soon enough. Not that it was bad or anything. It was actually quite beautiful to say the least...just not what a cowboy would consider his idea of fun.  
  
Selphie, also known as `Miss over-do-it', had really (for lack of better vocabulary) over done it, somehow turning a military celebration into a scene from a cheesy fairytale. But still, one could appreciate how much effort was put into this gathering. The Quad had been carefully partitioned into 3 areas, all decorated accordingly to the main colors blue and gold.  
  
To the far right piles upon piles over the most exotic and delicious entrees and drinks were laid out on royal blue silk tablecloths while some waiters occasionally came back to refill their glasses of champagne. It was here that the dinner and speeches would be made afterwards.  
  
To the left were a few comfortable chairs and couches where people could sit and socialize away from the hubbub of the dance floor, which was in the center. A few young couples could be seen waltzing away happily to the soulful music played by a full orchestra seated at the front. Among them there was Quistis, twirling with one of her students in her form fitting gold ensemble that made her partner seem like he was going to faint. Rinoa was seen gracefully sitting by herself in a corner, constantly checking the entrance and Selphie was beside him, already a little tipsy from drink on top of being deliriously happy from the success of her first party that didn't involve just the students of Garden.  
  
"They do like they're having fun," she said excitedly to her date "Do you think they look like they're having fun? I hope they're having fun."  
  
Irvine leaned further on the banister of the second level walkway that surrounded the Quad and pretended to survey the scene. "Looks everyone is enjoying themselves" he turned back to Selphie who's face looked like it would split if she managed to stretch her smile any further, obviously waiting for another compliment. "Uh...and you did a great job in putting this together."  
  
"I did didn't I?" She said while she yet again scanned the ballroom, searching for a crooked chair or a folded streamer...something, anything that she could fix to make it that much better. This was a hopeless case for everyone knew better than to touch anything, and even though filled to the brim with people, the Quad hadn't changed a bit since she finished the preparation work.  
  
At the graduation ball a few months ago, Selphie had actually brought a megaphone to the party and yelled at anyone who dared to touch the hand-waxed candleholders or tread on the Persian carpets or even smell the carefully arranged bouquets. But tonight, with much convincing, Irvine had somehow managed to get Selphie to leave the megaphone (in exchange for leaving his hat for the first time in years) but she was still scary, even unarmed. And the people of Garden knew better than to do anything besides eat and dance.  
  
"I still don't see our dear Commander though." She leaned further over the ledge as if checking to see if perhaps he was hanging under that walkway and Irvine had to grab her shoulders to keep her from falling over. "Tee hee. Oops..." she giggled sheepish as she was puled back onto solid ground before taking another glass of champagne from a passing waiter which Irvine hastily confiscated.  
  
"I think you've had enough."  
  
"Oh hogwash!" She grabbed the glass back, spilling its contents down the front of dress but not noticing. "This is my party and I'll cry if I want to. Besides, I'm determined not to waste any of this fine champagne since SOME people had better things to do than come to a ball held in their honor."  
  
"Oh come on Seffie," he stifled a laugh as she looked questioningly at the empty glass after she tried to take a sip. "You didn't actually expect Squall to come now did you? I mean given the choice, he'd probably never go out in public!"  
  
Selphie shrugged before attempting the get at the few remaining droplets of alcohol. "Well he'd better if he doesn't want his ass kicked for the rest of his life." She gave up on the glass and turned her attentions back to the ball with a sigh. "He may be nicknamed the `Lion' in battle but when it comes to real life matters he's the biggest coward I've ever met."  
  
"Give the guy a break. We can't blame him for hating people and fun...we can taunt and harass him but we can't bla..."  
  
"She's going to leave ya know?"  
  
For a second Irvine was confused, thinking her random statement was a simple side effect of the current level alcohol in her blood ...but then he followed her eyes to the floor below and saw, with a pang in his chest, Rinoa sitting by herself...crying softly. He had never really been close to her, but it would break anyone's heart to see such beautiful angel weep. Such spirited and lovely creatures shouldn't be allowed to cry. It was just wrong.  
  
Getting his attention, Selphie continued. "She told me that if Squall didn't come out about their relationship...then she was going to leave Garden...and he doesn't even bother to show up." He couldn't tell for what reason her words were slurred, but the pain in her voice was obvious. Besides Quistis (who got on every one's nerves once in a while), Rinoa was the only other close friend she had. And if she left it would be a serious dent in Selphie's spirit, something Irvine loved her for.  
  
Yes he loved her.  
  
He, Irvine, the infamous player was actually in love with ONE woman. Of course he would never publicly admit this, and old habits die hard (such as the attraction for blondes) but to see her in pain...that was too much for him to bear.  
  
Suddenly, Irvine hated Squall. Hated him for being such a stubborn idiot. Hated him for being so cold toward Rinoa and in the end hurting his Selphie and thereby hurting him.  
  
She was right...he was a coward.  
  
Soon, Selphie too could be heard sobbing softly at the sight of her heartbroken friend. And it was all because of him. If Squall wasn't here in ten minutes not only would he gladly let Selphie `kick his ass' as she put it, but he himself would probably kill him if someone didn't beat him to it. Quistis too seemed a little angry that she was left alone during the biggest social event this year. She was in the opposite corner of the ballroom, in perfect view of the entrance and mumbling to herself...probably planning how many ways to tell the Commander off with the possibility of a few permanent, physical injuries.  
  
Irvine brought Selphie into a soft hug and whispered the usual comforting lines such as `don't worry' and `everything'll be okay'. These were all lies of course. If Squall didn't appear on time there was no chance of him showing up later. In the eyes of everyone the war had already been lost. Rinoa was probably contemplating whether or not to bring her weapons to medical school, Quistis was trying to decide what to wear at the NEXT ball and here they were planning to avenge this room full of broken hearts for only one man. The night was far from over but hope was long since gone.  
  
*He better be here* Irvine thought as he held a shaking Selphie in his arms. *For his own sake he better*  
  
~*~  
  
Rinoa fiddled idly with the chain around her neck, constantly checking to make sure that there was two and not one ring around her neck, proving that this entire year with Squall had not been a dream.... or more like a nightmare nowadays.  
  
He hadn't come...  
  
Deep in her heart she hadn't really expected him too. He wasn't exactly well known to jump at the chance of a little social interaction. But the desire in her soul somehow held onto the few shreds of hope and cultivated them into certainty.  
  
She had been foolish to think so highly of him...he was a coward...famous for avoiding his problems until they disappeared. And that's what he intended to do with her...leave her alone and maybe she'll come running back.  
  
Well enough was enough!  
  
Tonight was the last straw. She was leaving. That decision was final. She would leave right now before he had a chance to speak to her and dissolve her determination with a few whispered words and actions in a broom closet. He wouldn't hurt her like this again.  
  
Gathering the hem of her dress in her fist so as not to trip over it, Rinoa stood up from the chair she had been sitting in for the past 2 hours waiting for him and made her way across the dance floor. She ignored the couples' odd stares as she broke the rhythm of the waltz by marching in between them, positive in her mind that after tonight she would never see them again, therefore there was no reason to care.  
  
This was it.  
  
It was over.  
  
She was finally going to be rid of this wretched Garden, its prejudice students and not to mention her idiot boyfriend. She was going to become a doctor like she always wanted. She was going to find some nice, sensitive and romantic man who wanted to settled down and raise a family. And, most importantly, she would be free.  
  
Free from the stupid rules. (Ex: No food and large electric appliances in the dorm. It's been so long since she's watched Saturday morning cartoons while snuggled in her blanket with a bowl of hot porridge)  
  
Free from imprisonment. (She was never allowed outside of Garden's campus)  
  
Free from the inhumanity. (Students as young as 15 going off to kill people for money.)  
  
And Free from him and his sense of commitment equal to that of a cow...she should be celebrating. She should be jumping for joy.  
  
But then why did she feel like dying?  
  
The answer was simple...she was in love...an emotion that she despised and cherished at the same time. Like a sickness and its cure together.  
  
She hadn't even made it to the orchestra before her eyes started to water. The last thing she wanted was to let Quistis and the world leaders know that she was upset so she quickened her pace, keeping her face level with the floor so as to hide her strain to keep the tears at bay. It wasn't long before she bumped into someone roughly. This was starting to become a habit. She only prayed it wasn't HER again.  
  
But no, luckily it was a man. She could tell by the shoes since she still refused to lift her eyes from the polished marble.  
  
"I'm sorry..." she mumbled, trying hard to keep her voice from breaking and moving to step around whoever she had hit. But the man held her arm in a strong grip, refusing to let her go.  
  
"Rinoa...?" he asked sincerely, studying what he could see of her face to see if he had mistaken her identity. "Is...is that you?"  
  
Rinoa couldn't just walk away from whomever had spoken, she was upset but she still wouldn't be rude. Looking up at her captor, the raven-haired beauty found herself staring into a pair of bright green eyes, crinkled in the corners as he smiled his famous smile that could literally light up a room and force any girl to return the gesture no matter how depressed she was. This man was Laguna, the president of Esthar, and Squall's father.  
  
"By Joe it is you!" he exclaimed happily, pulling her into a friendly hug. "It's been ages my dear. And you're looking more and more like your mother everyday." Even though they had only met a few times (Rinoa had been unconscious for the majority of the group's stay in Esthar) Laguna still treated her like they were the best of old friends every time. Each simple encounter always seemed special. He was the kind of man who'd try his best to make you laugh just to see you smile. He'd never deny your company even if he was overloaded with work and he was certainly the most open and interesting person when it came to discussion and emotion.  
  
"Thank you Mr. President." She said shakily, blinking away the pools forming in the corner of her eyes and giving a small curtsy. Laguna shook his head at this gesture, clearly uncomfortable with the formalities.  
  
"Please," he insisted, taking her small hand in his large ones "call me Laguna." He smiled again before bowing and giving her palm a gentle kiss.  
  
*He was so sweet* Rinoa thought as she blushed. If it hadn't been for the blood tests, no one would have dared to think that this man was the robot Commander's father. Logically, it really didn't make sense.  
  
It was funny the way nature worked...Maybe Squall's personality had been switched with someone else somewhere along the line? Maybe it was opposite day at the time of his birth? Maybe his heart was two sizes to small? For Whatever reason, personality wise Squall and Laguna were as alike as a polished diamond and a lump of coal (guess who is which?)  
  
"Hyne Rinoa, if possible you more radiant than ever." Rinoa couldn't help but blush again as she wiped away the remaining droplets of tears with the back of her hand. He still hadn't said anything about her obvious state of sadness and she was grateful for that. Laguna always put your feelings above his own and if curiosity was nipping at him he didn't show it. He just smiled more broadly and kissed her on the cheek.  
  
Once confident that he would not bother her about her crying, Rinoa found the courage to observe him more closely. It wasn't hard to see the resemblance in his features to those of Squall. The sturdy jaw, the straight hair, the tall figure and the eyes, though green and not blue, had the same sparkle to them.  
  
"It's great to see you Laguna." She somehow managed to say without sobs hacking her voice. "It's been too long."  
  
"It has hasn't it? It's just been so hectic in Esthar. We're still rebuilding from the damage made be the creatures from the Lunar Cry. And there were other things of course..." he chuckled to himself, both of them knowing the REAL reason he had been forced from visiting...the same reason she was now in tears. "You haven't seen him by any chance have you?"  
  
Rinoa shook her head, trying not to appear distraught but with genuine apathy. "I do not believe he's here yet. But you know Squall; he's not the biggest fan of parties and all the attention that comes with this particular one."  
  
Laguna ran a hand through his graying black hair and nodded in agreement. "I was hoping a year would make him more social...but I guess some things never change." With a sigh he nervously began scratching the back of his neck while scanning the ballroom. Rinoa smiled as she remembered Squall doing the exact same thing when she asked about their future...they were more alike than either of them knew.  
  
"I hear he has a girlfriend now" Laguna said casually, and Rinoa involuntarily let a small gasp escape her lips. Interpreting this as shock and surprise, he continued. "You don't know? Well Cid had told me that it was kind of a secret...what's her name again?"  
  
She dared to hope that it was her...maybe this was Squall's way of bringing their relationship out. Tell Cid, who then tells Laguna and then just be open about everything till everyone knows. Maybe he was waiting for her right outside the hall. Maybe he was waiting in her dorm to surprise her! Maybe he had a heart after all!  
  
"...oh yeah I remember now!" Laguna tapped his head smartly, proud that he had remember the name of his son's significant other. Rinoa waited with baited breath for him to put 2 and 2 together, realize that she the `secret' girlfriend, give her a big hug and ask her too call him `dad' instead of just `Laguna'. The whole nine yards.  
  
"Quistis, that's it! Maybe she knows where he is." Rinoa's face visibly fell at the mere mention of her name. Quistis was the girlfriend...of course...should she really have expected anything else.  
  
He had done it again without even doing anything. Squall had managed to break her heart with his mere existence.  
  
But still, she didn't bother to correct Laguna on the identity of his son's lover. He didn't even know his birthday let alone what relationships he was currently in...besides, this relationship would cease to exist soon enough. If she only managed to get away.  
  
"I'm so sorry Sir. Laguna," she began with a smooth voice, too angry to be upset. "I promised a friend that'd I'd help her with her junctioning homework. There's a test tomorrow she and has such difficulty with the subject. I'll have to excuse myself. Goodnight!"  
  
"I thought you didn't have classes tomorrow?" Laguna asked, puzzled by her sudden flare and eagerness to get away.  
  
*No classes...oh yeah...oops* Rinoa gave herself a mental head slap before flashing her best smile back at the president. What did he know bout the schedule of Garden, she could make up anything she wanted and be halfway out of the country before he could figure it out. Not that it really matter, but the last statement about Quistis being Squall's girlfriend had only boosted her desire to leave and therefore muddled her thinking. "You must have been miss informed Mr. President. SeeD have classes everyday of the week and there are no holidays." This was one of the first things she had been taught at Garden and anyone would back that statement up.  
  
"But tomorrow is Saturday?"  
  
*another oops and another mental head slap*  
  
Laguna, being a human sensor of emotions, noticed Rinoa tense and wondered, with genuine concern, what had been troubling her so much that she was firstly crying and then making up excuses to leave a party held in part in her honor. (Though a student, she was still part of the team who defeated Ultimecia).  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.  
  
*Run away* she told herself urgently. *You're never going to see him again! Just turn and run away!*  
  
"I...I" she stuttered, trying to find the words that would let her off the hook and keep her reputation as someone sane. Luckily, she was interrupted.  
  
"Ah Rinoa!" exclaimed a smiling Cid as he made his way to the pair. "I've been looking everywhere for you! Edea and I have just begun the seating arrangements for the dinner. But first we want a photo of all our heroes. Do come and join us."  
  
The last thing she wanted to do at the moment was pose and pretend to be happy with the friends she would be leaving behind...but what she wanted less was to be stuck with Laguna.  
  
"I would love to." She lied, whispering a formal goodbye to the president and following Cid to the dinning area where many of the world leaders had already been seated. They were all somewhere along the lines of 150 years old, with gray hair and protruding, round bellies. Their hands were full of glasses of brandy and cigarettes, as they leaned on the blues silk tablecloths to hear each other better, having pointless, never-ending discussions about the politics. This was what the future held for Squall...she hoped he enjoyed it while she was away basking in the glory of normalcy. And she hoped he missed her. Not because she wanted him back, but because he deserved to suffer after all this. Regretting every minute of everyday that he had let her go.  
  
"Rinoa!" she heard someone yell. Turning her head to the left, she saw three of them waiting patiently on the makeshift stage where the long main table was set. Quistis, looking bored and stunning in a skintight gold dress that tied around her neck. Selphie, laughing exuberantly as she tried to walk in a straight line without falling over. And Irvine was waving enthusiastically at her, looking extremely different yet hansom without his trademark cowboy outfit. Selphie must have done something stupendous to make him give up the hat...he was obsessed with that hat...she didn't wanna know.  
  
"Hey guys..." she said, seating herself next to Irvine, the one person of the three who she didn't hate and that wasn't drunk.  
  
"And I thought she was bad when sober," he gestured to the giggling Selphie who was now rolling around on the stage. "Remind me never to be seen in public with her again."  
  
"So your `get her drunk and take advantage' plan backfired didn't it?" Rinoa playfully punched him on the arm, knowing very well that Selphie hadn't gotten THAT intoxicated without a little persuasion. Especially at her own party.  
  
"Me? Take advantage?" Irvine protested in mock hurt, smiling at her ability to see through him so easily. "Now where did you ever come up with that idea?  
  
"Okay okay everyone," came Cid's booming voice as he approached them, squinting behind his glasses and counting them off. His usual smile was replace with a scowl as he realized they were two heroes short of the entire squad. "Where's Zell and Squall?" he asked, peering over his shoulder in case they might suddenly appear. "They were supposed to be hear over two hours ago! The dinner will be starting soon."  
  
"Sdon't sworry Sid..." slurred Selphie from her lying position, the queasiness now winning the battle over her nerves. "I called sem about ans half hour ago. Theys be here soon."  
  
"Thank you Selphie." He said slowly before returning his attention to her friends "and could someone get her a sedative before the press come in for the ceremony? We do have a reputation to uphold here."  
  
"Already done sir." Replied Irvine boldly, shaking a pill bottle he just pulled from his jacket pocket. "It should take effect in a few minutes."  
  
"Thank you Mr. Kinneas, in the meantime we'll just wait for the others. Squall promised to do the opening speech..."  
  
Rinoa mentally laughed, knowing that a promise was as important to the Commander as a carrot to a carnivore. But Cid seemed confident enough as he strode away toward the entrance to wait.  
  
He'd be there for a while it seemed.  
  
Rinoa turned her attentions to Selphie, for lack of anything better to do, and helped smooth back her sweat soaked bangs from her face. She wasn't looking too good at the moment. The time in between seriously drunk and perfectly fine was never very comfortable. "Are you okay?" she whispered, while lightly rubbing her shoulder.  
  
"I'm fine..." she said in one ragged breath. Her words weren't slurred anymore, at least she was finally sobering up before she made a complete idiot of herself in front of the many cameras the press would surely bring. "It's just...I'm just..." she suddenly sat up and clutched a hand to her stomach "I'm definitely gonna be sick." And with that, she sped off to the bathrooms with such speed one could swear she was flying, Irvine following close behind and looking as if he didn't know whether to be amused or disgusted.  
  
Rinoa would have laughed if it hadn't been for the situation her two friends running off left her in. Here she was, sitting side by side with the object of her discomfort...the one and only Quistis who, now that they were alone, certainly wouldn't mind dropping her act of indifference and reveal her true identity as the wolf in prostitute's clothing.  
  
As expected, as soon as the two others were out of sight, the blonde wasted no time in averting her gaze to the sorceress with a sick smile playing over her features.  
  
"Rinoa I simply love your dress," she said sweetly, every word dripping with sarcasm. "It so...daring!...most girls with any sense of dignity wouldn't be caught dead in something like that. You probably got it at a really good price since it's obviously a mess up."  
  
Rinoa couldn't help it, she looked down at her dress as if to judge herself how bad it was. She had made it herself of course. Being a student she wasn't paid yet and she depended solely on the meager bonuses she had received for saving the world for food and school supplies. Compared to Quistis' ensemble it was certainly nothing special. She had simply bought a long piece of imitation silk fabric, wrapped it around herself and bunched it together at the right hip. It had taken days of pinning and sewing to get the creases exactly were she wanted them and it was especially hard without a dummy of model to work with but in the end she had been relatively proud of herself. Still, only a few rude comments from Quistis made her ashamed of her efforts.  
  
But she wouldn't admit that. Not now. Not ever.  
  
So with an equally sarcastic smile, she retaliated. "And yours instructor! It's so beautiful. Where did you get it? Skanks `R' Us?"  
  
If Quistis was hurt by this, she didn't show it. But she was however, obviously surprised that the ever-so-gentle Rinoa had actually fought back. She remember what Selphie had said about the blonde's `reputation' back in her dorm when they were preparing and right now it was all she had to work with in the way of insults. Of course she could always use the `Squall will never love you' thing, but she wasn't sure if that was true. And, not to mention, that subject was kind of sensitive and would soon lead to shaking limbs and sweaty palms...not pretty.  
  
"Oh come on..." Quistis rolled her eyes and picked up a glass of champagne that had been resting beside her. "You don't have to be jealous just because I get more action than you."  
  
*Ha!* Rinoa mentally laughed at the preposterousness of the statement. Jealous of her!?...No way.  
  
Just because she had every man lusting after her.  
  
Just because she had the freedom to be with Squall.  
  
Just because she would, in the end, be the object of his affections once she was out of the picture...  
  
No, Rinoa wasn't jealous...she may be writhing in envy but jealousy was too childish to describe what she felt.  
  
"I know what you're thinking." Quistis said matter-of-factly while taking a generous sip from her glass and placing it back onto the stage. "You're wondering if I've gotten to him yet."  
  
Rinoa shrugged, not wanting to show Quistis that she had in fact been pondering that exact question and was desperately wanting to know the answer. Had Squall long since succumbed to Quistis' powers of sexual persuasion?...one could never tell with him.  
  
"Whatever" she muttered indifferently...and who said Squall had taught her nothing?  
  
Instructor Trepe giggled lightly and shook her head, her long blonde hair glistening as usual. "The answer is no by the way. But I'm working on it. It's sort of a project of mine."  
  
Rinoa turned her head to glare at her, visibly disgusted. "So he's just a conquest to you?" she said angrily. A real live Jezebel, it wasn't everyday you met one of those.  
  
Again Quistis shook her head, still laughing though, never taking a threat from her seriously. "Oh he's more than just a conquest. Though it would be great to be his first. The only woman to explore the lion." A steamy gaze replaced her smile as if she was imagining the events in her head, her blue eyes dancing with excitement and Rinoa tried not to wince.  
  
"You presume too much. How do you know he and I haven't done...anything yet."  
  
She sighed and brought forth another glass of champagne from behind her back to replace the first emptied one, it seemed she had a constant supply. "My dear Rinoa," she began in her instructor's tone as if she teaching a basic lesson "it isn't that difficult to point out a man who isn't getting any or who has never gotten any in the first place. Not that you would know." She drained the glass in one gulp, scanned her surroundings before pointing a perfectly manicured nail toward the entrance to the dinning area. "Looks like Selphie's back. Not looking too good is she."  
  
Rinoa followed her gaze and, sure enough, saw Irvine and supporting a slightly green Selphie back to the stage. Rinoa rushed over to help them half because Irvine was trembling from having her entire weight on his one arm and half because she didn't care to continue this conversation with Quistis.  
  
"You okay?" she asked as she flung Selphie's other arm around her shoulder.  
  
Selphie nodded. "Just stop everything from spinning and I'll be fine."  
  
"For what it's worth, "Irvine began timidly "I didn't mean to get you `sick' drunk, just `unable to make conscious decisions' drunk. Maybe I should have tested you're tolerance to alcohol before this date."  
  
Selphie was either too out of it too reply or she was trying to contain another batch of throw up. Whatever the reason, Rinoa was very glad when they reached the stage and the sober yet hung-over Selphie was let alone to sit on the edge.  
  
"So," she said, trying to sound enthusiastic through her queasiness. "What we're you talking about while we were gone?"  
  
"Oh nothing..." began Rinoa, not wanting to reveal, especially to Irvine, that she and Quistis had been debating Squall's love life. But Quistis, as Selphie had stated earlier, was much less ashamed about her sporting for sex.  
  
"We were actually trying to decide which of us will get to sleep with Squall first." She said calmly while producing yet another full glass from behind her back. (How was she doing that? Did she like tip a waiter too constantly keep her well supplied...or did she do something else to convince him?...stop thinking now). Rinoa was mortified of course but Quistis was lounging about like she had announced nothing more drastic than her vacation plans. Selphie's eyes widen and a sly grin began to rise on Irvine's face.  
  
"Miss Trepe! You know very well that was not what we were talking about."  
  
Quistis rose a perfectly shaped eyebrow and shrugged, seeming to enjoy Rinoa's discomfort with the subject. "That's because both you and I know who the winner would be." She said slyly, carefully slipping off the stage's edge and walking over to Rinoa who's embarrassment had quickly faded to rage.  
  
She had wanted to leave Garden. Not even five minutes ago had she decided to run out of this ballroom, take the first train to Timber and never look back. But now she couldn't...she WOULDN'T until she had proved Quistis wrong once and for all. That Squall loved her and ONLY her and he wouldn't want anyone but her to be his first...she only prayed she was right.  
  
"Care to make a wager on that?" Rinoa asked to the shock of everyone including the blonde.  
  
"Wait! Hold up here! Rewind!" yelled Selphie as she stood (with difficulty) in between the two women. "Tell me my two best friends aren't going to race for my boss' virginity cause that's disturbing on a level I hardly knew existed."  
  
"Wait," Irvine joined the group, obviously finding the scene very entertaining. "Do you mean to tell me that Squall's never..."  
  
"Shut up Kinneas." Selphie warned.  
  
"Shutting up ma'am" He saluted and left the women alone, fearful of getting on either of their bad side.  
  
Quistis and Rinoa hadn't moved their eyes from one another since the offer of the bet had been made.  
  
"What are the terms?" Quistis asked, crossing her arms across her chest.  
  
"Well, it only makes sense that the one who wins this get to be with him...So..." she cleared her throat to emphasis her words. "If I win you have to leave him alone. None of this posing as his `girlfriend' to Cid and all you got that?"  
  
Quistis nodded. "And if I win?"  
  
Rinoa, peered over to the entrance of the ballroom, hoping that maybe Squall would suddenly waltz in and save her from this stupid bet she was making. But, of course, that didn't happen. So she continued. "If you win...I'll leave." Quistis gave her a questioning gaze as if to say `go on'. "I'll move to Timber and you'll never hear from me again. I won't help set up a relationship between you two and I won't force him to forget about me and move on but I will remove the competition. The rest is up to you." With much effort, she extended her hand to close the deal, half hoping that the instructor wouldn't have the guts...but she knew better than to refuse.  
  
Quistis Trepe of Balamb Garden accepted the hand of Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly and they shook on it. "You're on" the blonde said with a smile, increasing the pressure on her grip. Rinoa returned the gesture and the two went their separate ways; Quistis to the refreshment table since her alcohol supply had run dry, and Rinoa back to the stage where Irvine was giggling to himself.  
  
"Have you gone nuts!" Selphie yelled when Instructor Trepe was finally out of earshot. "Do you realize how cheap that was?! Do you realize how stupid that was!? Do you realize how impossible that is going to be?!"  
  
"What? You don't thing I can do it?"  
  
Selphie sighed, trying hard not to hit her friend in order to knock some sense into her. "You do realize the only reason Quistis agreed to that stupid bet was because the odds are kind of in her favor. You're not even being allowed to set foot on the level that he resides! ELITE SEED ONLY!! How the hell to you expect to win this?!"  
  
"I'll find a way." She said with certainty though really she had no idea what she was going to do, she was still kind of in shock over the whole thing and didn't want to think about it. Selphie just shook her head in defeat but then began it shot up in excitement as she began waving frantically at someone behind Rinoa.  
  
"SIR LAGUNA!!" she yelled with astonishing volume for one so small. "Rinoa look! Sir Laguna is here! SIR LAGUNA!! OVER HERE!!"  
  
*Not again* thought Rinoa with a gasp as she tried to hide her face from the oncoming man. It was pretty pointless but she was willing to try anything at the moment. After her little episode earlier and now with the bet she had just made about his son, she didn't think it possible to ever look him straight in the eye again.  
  
All too soon, he had made his to Selphie and kissed her hand with a few compliments as he had done with her earlier.  
  
"I must say my dear Ms. Tilmitt, you have really out don't yourself this time. I had no idea you have such remarkable talent in design."  
  
"Oh this old thing" she said in an attempt to sound cool but failing miserably to contain her excitement. Everybody knew what a fan she was of Sir Laguna. She even had a web site dedicated to him! To the annoyance of Irvine and not to mention Squall. He had tried to delete it several times after the discovery had been made about his parentage, but Selphie had either cried, attacked, of simply re-posted and he eventually gave up.  
  
Laguna smiled at her attempt at modesty and gestured to the royal blue streamers hanging around the entire Quad. "I was wondering how..."  
  
"Oh who cares about the stupid party...let's talk about you. How's Esthar?'  
  
"We've been..."  
  
"Busy I know with the Lunar cry destruction and all but what about personally?"  
  
"Well I'm trying..."  
  
"To re-establish a relationship with you're long lost son who's avoiding you? Yeah I know all about that. But what about you're martial status? Any girlfriends pop up in the last 12 hours since I last checked?"  
  
"I don't think..."  
  
If Laguna had been trying to talk to Rinoa, it didn't seem like he'd have the chance since Selphie was doing to talking for all three of them. Sometimes...she really loved that girl.  
  
"Sir Laguna, you are NEVER too old to fall in love again. You shouldn't even think that. Who knows? Maybe the perfect girl is right in front of you...like literally right in front of you this very second...you never know."  
  
Irvine took this moment to clear his throat and join the group, placing a possessive arm around Selphie's shoulder. "Hi Seffie. Remember me? Your date?"  
  
Selphie rolled her eyes and tried to pry him away while Laguna laughed at the playfully bickering couple.  
  
He had a great laugh, one that really lifted you're heart when you heard it. Much like Squall's did when he laughed, which wasn't very often to say the least.  
  
"Speaking of mending relationships..." the president began while searching the dinning area. "Have any of you seen Squ..."  
  
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN..." boomed a voice from the hidden speakers of the Quad. "This is Cid Kramer the headmaster of Balamb Garden." There was a satisfactory wave of shouts and applause from the students "thank you, thank you. I'd like to invite everyone to proceed to the dinning area where there will be a minor press conference followed by a ceremonious thank you to the heroes who, not only saved Garden, but the entire world. 5 minutes people...you have five minutes to find your seats. I suggest that some of you don't dawdle. You know who you are." And with that, the microphone turned off and Cid appeared on the stage after emerging from the technicians' booth behind the main table.  
  
"Are they here yet?" The headmaster asked his elite SeeD who had gathered below the platform. Selphie, Irvine, Rinoa and Laguna all shook their heads. Zell and Squall were still no where to be found. He ran a hand through his thinning brown hair and sighed. "They're not in their rooms, I had some others check. Nor in the training center." He took off his glasses and began cleaning them on his shirt. "Well I guess there's nothing we can do. Selphie do you think you can make a last minute introduction speech?"  
  
Selphie saluted "I will do my best sir!"  
  
"That'll do Tilmitt. Just take your seats everyone. If they're not here now they're obviously not coming."  
  
All four of them silently agreed.  
  
~*~  
  
Quistis was leaning against the refreshment table with a fresh glass of champagne in her hand when she heard the announcement. If Cid decided to go on with the conference then he must have had confirmation that Squall wasn't going to show up.  
  
Perfect.  
  
This way poor little Rinoa wouldn't have a chance to even try before she lost their little bet. Draining the glass and taking another, Quistis began to make her way to the dining area when something near the entrance, or rather someone, caught her eye.  
  
A blonde emerged suddenly from the darkness of the hallway, followed by another stealthy man both in SeeD uniform. Even from this distance (not to mention the alcohol impairing her vision) it wasn't hard to distinguish Zell since his bold hairstyle and tattooed faced could be seen from the top of a microwave tower on a cloudy night. And the other man, well she couldn't see his face clearly but she could tell it was him by the very way he sent shiver down he spine.  
  
Relieving the table from her weight, Quistis quickly began sauntering toward to two men, desperate to intercept them before they made it to the dinning area. All she needed was five minutes. Five minutes to persuade him to leave this stupid party and walk her back to her room. And that wouldn't happen if someone else managed to capture his attentions first.  
  
"Squall?" she called out to him when he was within earshot of her voice. He turned around quickly, searching for his inquirer when his gray-blue eyes finally settled upon her with what seemed like a little bit of apprehension.  
  
Squall...her Squall...or soon to be `her' Squall if this evening worked out as it should.  
  
*Let the games begin*  
  
*Author's Note* I know, I know. This has actually turned out to be A LOT longer than I expected. At first I actually intended this chapter to have the WHOLE ball meaning the fluff when Rinoa and Squall finally get together. But I guess that'll be for the next chapter since this one was already pretty long. I'm sorry!! But I'd like to thank all my reviewers for their ideas on what to happen later in this fic. This goes out to especially Ashbear, KJ, Purple Rose and `Rinoa and the kid and Marle1# fan'. Thank you guys and I'm using all your ideas while keeping up with my own to still have a few surprises. New chapter next week or maybe even tomorrow depending when I finish my work. Love you all!  
  
From Mayonaka 


	8. Go the Distance

**Author's Notes** Again I'm sorry for the long pause in between updates. But, after only 4 years, my school finally discovered that I was using the internet for 'un-educational' purposes. I tried to argue that fanfiction.net consist of reading and writing and is therefor educational but that only got me a detention on top of my account getting taken away. DETENTION!! You have no idea how horrible that is at my school. A full two hours of sitting up straight and staring at a clock! If you slouch or revert your eyes the teacher makes you start your time over again! (*sigh*) but you guys are worth it! So I'm now taking a pause from my day of Final Fantasy video making and returning to my writing. It's all bad but I enjoy it so in the end it doesn't matter. I would like to thank all my reviewers!! They are the reason I don't put this story on a disk and burn it in shame. Thank you;  
  
-Dagger for caring enough to review twice and ask for an email update (*Mayonaka almost kisses you in happiness contains herself at the last second*).  
  
-Purple Rose, of course, who started my love of fanfiction and came up with my pen name.  
  
-And Ashbear, who is a truly gifted writer and I am so lucky to have her bother with my meager story. Thank You all.  
  
AND FOR THE LAST TIME IF MY FRIENDS DON'T STOP PRANK REVIEWING ME I'M GONNA….i don't know what I'm gonna do yet but it's gonna be bad! Well, I'd like to apologize for any crude reviews you may read from this story. I'm trying to delete them but more keep showing up. (*sigh*) I guess even changing my pen name didn't help me escape them in the end.  
  
Katie, Alyssa, Sophie, Alex, Sacha and Christine; STOP IT!!!I love you all dearly but that fact won't stop me from killing you all if this continues.  
  
~*Chapter 8*~  
  
Go the Distance  
  
The first thing Squall noticed upon entry to the ballroom, to tell the truth, had been the floor.  
  
No, it wasn't the most exciting or romantic feature of all the amazing things Selphie had done to the Quad. Long streamers of blue silk hung all around the circular room. A dinning and lounging area had been set up. Some kind of strange glow magic had been used to produce small firefly- like orbs of shimmering mist to flutter across the gigantic skylight.  
  
But did Squall see any of this?…nooo… He couldn't keep his eyes off the stupid marble floor…it was just so shiny!  
  
*I wonder how she does that* he wondered while observing the reflection of his feet on the glass-like surface. *Must have been one hell of a wax job*  
  
Now some people would think Squall, the man who could care less about anything, would be the last person to think so highly of such a ridiculously simple thing as floor wax.  
  
And those people would be right. He didn't care about the floor.  
  
But at that moment, right before he was about to face two of his greatest challenges yet, even ripping out his own liver and eating it was seemed more appealing than proceeding further into the ball, let alone checking out the shiny marble. It was pretty cool actually if you stared at it long enough.  
  
"Earth to Squall!" someone yelled. A hand was thrust in front of his face and began waving madly to bring him back down to earth. Zell obviously. Having his usual tantrum if you didn't pay attention to him long enough. Squall hit the hand away and turned his gaze back to his blonde friend.  
  
"What do you want?" he snapped, clearly not in the best mood. But Zell had been prepared for this. Everyone knew how he hated parties and publicity, and this was a combination of the two.  
  
"No need to get all PMS." Squall scowled and Zell smiled. "Just wanted to warn you that we're supposed to be over there now. They're already prepared to bitch at us for being late I can tell." He pointed to the dinning area across the room where the world leaders could be seen lounging about in their seats while some students mingled. It was time for the speeches and dinner apparently…. Coincidentally, it was also time to throw up.  
  
"Are you okay?" Zell asked, only noticing how nervous his friend was after he had been dragged into the ball. "You're looking a little green."  
  
Squall didn't say or do anything, fearing what would happen if he did. But luckily, he was saved by a soft female voice calling to him…  
  
Rinoa…it had to be.  
  
His queasiness was suddenly replaced with a desperate urge to see her face. Knowing how she would smile when she saw him. Knowing that that smile would erase all doubt in his mind. And knowing that he was going to spend the rest of his life with her.  
  
His angel.  
  
His Rinoa.  
  
Squall turned to face his inquirer, fully prepared to sweep her up in his arms and never let her go. But his face fell as he laid eyes on her…  
  
It wasn't his Angel.  
  
It was the pain in his ass.  
  
Quistis, looking stunning in a golden halter ensemble that looked as though it could have been painted on. Hell it probably WAS painted on.  
  
She swiftly staggered toward him in a fashion that made obvious the many drinks she had had earlier.  
  
She was drunk…great…he wasn't even here five minutes and already he could tell a scene was in the making. She kept her ocean blue eyes locked on his with every step that invited him to do more than just look at her body. Squall couldn't help but let loose an exasperated sigh as she neared. She was at it again.  
  
Very un-gracefully, the blonde somehow managed to make it to the Commander without falling over.  
  
"Ug…hi Squall…" she managed to mutter in between deep, exaggerated breaths. "I…I don't feel too good." With a smile she brought a small hand to her sweaty forehead as if to feign an upcoming fainting spell. She began to stagger before slipping and the heavily waxed floor and conveniently landing in his arms before she fell.  
  
"Oops!...clumsy me," she laughed while leaning deeper into his warm chest, trying to absorb his scent, his feel, his passion with her every sense and completely ignoring the fact that he was trying to pry her off of him.  
  
"Quistis maybe you should sit down" he suggested once giving up on the chance of getting away. But she wouldn't stray from her plan. If she sat down he would go to the dinner. If he went to the dinner he would see her. If he saw her then he would remember that he was in love. And if he remembered that then…she was screwed.  
  
"Okay…oooww," she clutched her stomach in mock pain, gripping his uniform for support. "I don't feel so good. I definitely won't make it to this ceremony. Could you just bring me back to my room please." Squall raised an eyebrow questioningly. She tried to sound genuinely concerned about her health, but the slight seductive tone in her voice sent warning bells in the Commander's head.  
  
What was she trying to do?  
  
You could never tell with her.  
  
"Zell will take you," he said casually, giving Zell a threatening glare once he opened his mouth to protest. That shut him up fast. Quistis' flushed face contorted into an un-mistakable look of surprise. Her plan clearly backfired. Whatever that plan was.  
  
"Squall, I would really prefer if you…"  
  
"Zell will do…" he interrupted sternly. "Besides, I can't be late for my speech now can I?" He moved to make his way around her but she quickly scurried to block his path. Her 'really drunk' act instantly replaced with a 'minorly drunk and desperate' one.  
  
"NO!!" she cried shamelessly, the palms of her hands pushing against his broad shoulders. "It's you I need."  
  
*I knew it* Squall sighed and gestured at a gaping Zell to go on without him. This was obviously gonna take a while.  
  
He didn't need to be told twice. In a flash the blonde fighter was practically running to the dinning area, leaving the two alone. As soon as he was out of sight, Squall took one of Quistis' hands and pulled her behind a pillar so that they were hidden from view. She smiled seductively at this gesture, obviously misinterpreting his intentions.  
  
Keeping a stern face so as to prove he wasn't falling for her act, he pushed her roughly against the cold marble wall, pinning her by her shoulders.  
  
She was going to hear him out tonight. And then she was going to leave him alone once and for all.  
  
"What are you doing Quistis?" he asked her, staring deep into her eyes hoping to find less disturbing answers than what he thought.  
  
"I…I'm not doing anything" she stuttered, clearly a little frightened by the Commander's aggressive behavior.  
  
"I'm not stupid. You above every else knows that. Now tell me what's going on?"  
  
She suddenly became fascinated with the floor wax as she avoided his piercing eyes by staring at the ground. She had been his friend for 18 years. She had taught him all he knows about magic, guardian forces and junctioning yet she couldn't…no she WOULDN'T even explain to him something as trivial as this.  
  
"Fine" he said, once again sidestepping her and making his way deeper into the Quad. But she held his arm, refusing to let go.  
  
"NO!" she cried, fierce determination etched in her features. One thought drilling in her mind. *I will not loose. Especially to her.*  
  
"Let me go Quistis."  
  
"No!" she repeated, gripping his hand even more tightly. "I won't let you go to her!"  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"Isn't it obvious Squall? Have I not been forward enough after years of throwing myself at you only to be rejected over and over again?" he eyes grew wide with insanity. "Do you know how it feels Squall? Can you even imagine how painful it is not only to be ignored but to sit back and watch you so readily give yourself to the first little bitch that…"  
  
At this Squall's eyes flashed with anger and with one swift motion, he wrenched his arm from her grasp and pointed a menacing finger at her throat. Shaking in pure rage.  
  
"Don't EVER insult Rinoa." He warned, his voice low and threatening. "Is that clear instructor?"  
  
That tone of his had turned many of the bravest men into nothing more than quivering masses of Jell-O. But Quistis didn't falter. She had known him too long…too well…and she was determined. Rinoa wasn't whom he was meant to be with. It was just an obsession. A sick little obsession of his that was now getting downright annoying.  
  
"You don't scare me Squall" she stated. That was about 65% true. He did get pretty scary when it came to his 'girlfriend'. "But the way you fawn over her does disgust me."  
  
"Well then I'm sure you won't mind if I leave you then." He turned on his heel and, once again, began to saunter toward the dining area.  
  
She had to say something…ANYTHING! She had never lost anything in her life and her first defeat was definitely not gonna be by Rinoa.  
  
"I love you Squall…"  
  
At this he paused, clearly shocked by these words. The words she had never said to anyone. The words she had wanted to save till later tonight, when they were alone after an exhausting exhibition of raw passion. She would lean over and whisper them in his ear and then he would do the same.  
  
So they came a little earlier than she planned. It still helped her accomplish her goal in the end. That was all that mattered now.  
  
Quistis smiled as he slowly turned back around to face her, fiddling idly for something in his pocket. His eyes met her as he slowly closed the distance between them, never looking away. He didn't seem angry anymore, it was hard to tell what he was feeling now but as he finally stopped, his lips mere inches from hers, Quistis had no doubt in her mind…she had won.  
  
But no.  
  
As he pulled the small, round object from his pocket her head plummeted at the speed of light. This little trinket said so much;  
  
The shattering of her heart.  
  
The reality of her darkest fears.  
  
And, worst of all…I confirmed defeat. Rinoa Heartilly had won again.  
  
Squall held the diamond ring in between two fingers and shoved it in front of her face. "Do you see this Miss Trepe?" he asked assertively, waving the ring in front of her eyes. Somehow she managed a curt nod. "Do you know what it means?"  
  
She didn't respond…she was too busy staring at the ring. It was so perfect. So beautiful. So hard to believe that Squall had chosen it. Of course he had done many stranger things when it came to Rinoa.  
  
Walking to Esthar, jumping into space…and now accessorising.  
  
Quistis swallowed the large lump in her throat and reached out to touch the stunning jewel, briefly brushing her hand against his in the process. He flinched and pulled away, still uncomfortable with any sort of physical contact. Rinoa hadn't really changed him. To the rest of the world he was still follow-the-orders, anti-social, in-serious-need-of-a-life Squall. And he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life.  
  
"So you're going to ask her to marry you…fine…that doesn't change the fact that I…"  
  
"You don't love me Quistis." He calmly interrupted her, soothed by the presence of the ring between them. Like it projected some kind of invisible barrier. "If you loved me as much as you think you do, you'd be happy for me. And you wouldn't go through all this trouble to keep us apart knowing how much it would hurt."  
  
"This is more than just a fucking crush Squall!" she yelled, angry tears finally finding their way down her cheeks. "You're too young to get married anyway. Just give me a chance Squall. I know I can make you happy…please."  
  
He paused…seeming to consider this, for he returned the ring to the safety of his pocket and with his rough, callused hand, he cupped her cheek, gently rubbing away any stray tears with his thumb. Quistis closed her eyes and tried to absorb his touch. Thinking that maybe this wasn't the end after all as he carefully pulled her face closer to his.  
  
*He's going to kiss me* she thought with a smile and she licked her lips in anticipation of the moment. But his mouth never met her. He only placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, a symbol of his care for her as just a friend no matter what.  
  
"Good night Quisty" he whispered soothingly, brushing back a few sweaty strands of hair from her face…those few words said so much. 'Go away Quistis my friend'… 'Leave now Quisty before you further embarrass yourself'… 'I don't, didn't and will never love you like I love her.' The sheer arrogance in the statement let loose the rage that she had been holding in for years.  
  
"Dammit Squall!" she yelled, furiously slapping his hand away. "Do you really expect me to just go away so easily? Everything I have ever done has been for you! Everything I've endured was only to be with you! I love you!"  
  
"And I don't love you."  
  
Silence. The silence seemed to last an eternity as they stared at each other before he finally turned and left.  
  
She didn't stop him this time. She didn't think she could have even moved if she wanted to.  
  
He was gone…it was official…and oddly enough, she wasn't surprised.  
  
Losing all hope and all sense of dignity, Quistis Trepe fell to her knees in the middle of the ballroom, sobbing. Not caring who saw her or what they said…suddenly not caring about anything anymore.  
  
~*~ 


	9. Escape

*Author's Notes* (I know you love them)  
  
*-* According to my calculations it has been over a MONTH since my last update and for that I am sooooo sorry! Not only was my account taken away at school, where I do the majority of my fanfiction work, but my own, dear, sweet, beautiful, flat-panel screen, infinite memory, high-speed internet, personal computer which resides in my room was taken away for a month due to my (or lack of my) grades. I didn't do THAT badly. I didn't even fail anything! But, of course, my parents' view of a failure is about 20% higher than that of the government. Enough ranting Mayonaka *takes deep breath* you've gotta write! For the sake of the readers! I still haven't gotten my computer back by the way (urg!) but I did manage to break into my old account briefly and copy what I had of my story on a disk. Don't ask how I did this. If anyone knew I could pretty much kiss that stuck-up, all-girls, private school goodbye. Not that I'd mind leaving but then I'd NEVER get my computer back for sure. Let's just say it involved a teacher's office and a decoy...hehehe. I just REALLY didn't want to re-write an entire chapter. This took sooo long. So I'm now on my friend Katie's account to finish up and post the new chapter. I would like to thank Katie…Actually I'd like to shower her in riches for all she's done for me in order to get this chapter out. I LOVE YOU MAN!! NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU PRANK REVIEW ME AS PRINCE WILLIAM!! ……………...That is all. Later!*-*  
  
~*Chapter 9*~  
  
Escape  
  
*If you feel like leaving, I'm not gonna beg you to stay. But soon you'll be finding.  
  
You can run you can hide but you can't escape my love*  
  
-Enrique Iglesias  
  
*Somebody PLEASE shoot me* Rinoa thought as she drained her glass of champagne in one gulp and desperately tried to maintain polite interest in the scientific ramblings of the man sitting next to her. He, along with Laguna, was one of the 6 strangers who joined the hero SeeDs on the stage for recognition of their accomplishments after the ceremony for those who defeated Ultimecia was over. The President was being re-honored for his past heroic deeds over the sorceress Adel along with three men who fought in some battle over some monster and two scientists. One of which, who sat next to Rinoa, was sadly amused by sharing his infinite knowledge of primal nature uncensored.  
  
"Did you know that the actual length of intercourse of an Ochu is approximately 10 hours?" He exclaimed smartly with a strong western accent. He flaunted his sexual discoveries proudly, almost as if he had found a cure to cancer. In the last five minutes he had managed to completely ruin her concept of Centra fiends considering she now knew the excruciating details of their mating habits. What a fun date he must be.  
  
The echoing reverberation of a bell, signaled those who were loitering to take their seats. Those who were being honored in tonight's ceremony (well those who bothered to show up that is…) pulled themselves out of their conversations with others seated on the floor and searched from their name cards along the long table that ran the length of the stage horizontal to the audience which was packed with SeeDs, politicians, upper-class business men and at least one representative from every form of media across the globe. In an attempt to escape boredom, Rinoa had begun counting the number of cameras and microphones dotted here and there in the massive crowd…at least 200 hundred she estimated. There must be an extreme lack of news in the world if this stupid gathering appeared on the front page.  
  
Rinoa accidentally let loose an exasperated sigh as she rested her head on her hands, elbows leaning on the table, looking as bored and depressed as ever. The doctor, sadly, didn't take the hint of her not wanting to pursue the subject. "It is my theory" he continued while slipping an arm over the back of her chair in a failed attempt at being discreet "that that explains why the species is so relaxed! Wouldn't you agree?"  
  
She shrugged indifferently and anxiously scanned the room for one of the waiters carrying trays loaded with precious alcohol. If she was forced to stay at this stupid dinner she would be in definite need of a lot of booze. Especially while sitting next to Dr. Horny, who had to be at least 60 judging from the gray hairs and wrinkled hands.  
  
*Hyne Help me* she thought as she felt his thumb slowly begin to trace circles on her bare shoulder. *30 more seconds of this and I will no longer be held accountable for my actions. *  
  
The ceremony and dinner was scheduled to last at least 2 hours before the adults dispersed and the students were allowed to move onto the 'real' party. But the way things were going, Rinoa didn't think it would take 5 minutes until she lost it and simply RAN for the exit shamelessly.  
  
Glancing at her wrist, Rinoa sighed again as she realized that she wasn't wearing a watch. There was absolutely no point in staying…she was only there as part of the team who had to support their leader as he accepted awards and praise. And seeing that 'he' wasn't even here…well, this whole thing was a bust. The majority of the hundreds of people seated right in front of her were only there to see HIM. At least she wasn't the only one who would be inconvenienced by his absence. The press would definitely harass Cid and the other garden masters once they realized the Commander wasn't coming. Poor headmaster…all because of that idiot. The idiot that she loved  
  
*Just leave* she mentally coaxed herself, staring longingly towards the entrance to the ballroom which was blocked from view by the many students pilling into the dining area, desperately trying to find seats among the few tables reserved for the youngsters in the back.  
  
*So many people…just to see Squall…he let a lot of people down tonight. They're all going to be so disappointed.*  
  
With a bit of a scowl, Rinoa glanced at the 3 empty seats along her table. Quistis hadn't bothered to come back either. Was she already winning their bet at this very moment? She REALLY didn't want to think about that at.  
  
The bet had been nothing more than a case of temporary insanity mixed with an unhealthy amount of jealousy and rage. After not even 2 seconds of serious thinking, she had decided not to pursue it. It was immature. It was completely insane. And Selphie was right…she had absolutely NO chance of winning. Elite SeeD or not, Squall wouldn't breathe if he thought it would disappoint Garden. That's just how he functioned…and she was still going to leave. The plans were already finalized.  
  
Even if she did somehow lure Squall into making love, she wouldn't want it to be because of a bet. It meant more than just proving Quistis wrong. It was a joining of two bodies into one. Their souls intertwining and their hearts melting into one another. It was serious…it was special. And she had already made the mistake of letting herself get pressured into sex. Quistis was, sure as hell, not going to be the next person to push her into it. Let her have Squall…one bastard deserves another.  
  
"Are you okay?" asked a voice from beside her.  
  
Rinoa whirled around to be faced with a familiar pair of friendly green eyes. Laguna had somehow managed to switch places with the horny doctor during her staring into space and was now seated comfortably in the chair next to her, a concerned frown on his face. She should have realized the change. No one had tried to touch her thigh in at least two minutes.  
  
"I'm fine," she said in what she hoped was a composed voice "just a little disappointed that your son didn't find the time to grace us with his presence." It was impossible to keep a the hint of scorn in her voice no matter how hard she tried.  
  
But, as he always does, Laguna seemed to understand and nodded with an encouraging smile. "I know how you feel." he stated with a sigh, while gazing at the star studded skylight. "I've been both dreading and anticipating this night for months. I realize he doesn't think too highly of me but you'd think he'd at least show up! I mean, sometimes he's a real…"  
  
"Coward." Rinoa finished for him, realizing how familiar his story was.  
  
Laguna faced her slowly, as if noticing the raven-haired beauty for the first time. "Exactly!" he exclaimed, giggling slightly at the irony of a cowardly lion. Such a contrast in terms shouldn't be allowed, especially when referring to Squall. It seemed that only Rinoa had the guts to voice her true opinion of him. To publicize the true Squall Leonhart not as commander of SeeD, top of his class, a youngster frightfully talented in battle or even as the hero who saved the world. She saw him as not only a human being, but also one who possessed more than a few faults. And it was her ability to tell the truth that fascinated the president. Perhaps, he could use her insightful knowledge to his advantage in helping him comprehend the tangled web of emotions that was his offspring. It could be a good thing that the TRUE Leonhart wasn't as cold-hearted and stuck-up as some of the magazines described him in their interviews. But did that mean in reality he was even worse?  
  
"You believe that Squall is overrated?" He asked, not knowing whether to be relieved or frustrated that all the research he had done on Squall in an attempt to have an idea of his background and personality had been no more that publicity lies.  
  
Rinoa shrugged and took another casual sip of champagne, trying to convince herself not to feel to bad about talking behind Squall's back to his father of all people, which she knew for a fact he'd hate. It didn't take long, after reminding herself that he had wasted an entire year of her life, for her to decide that Laguna deserved to know how much of asshole he was. If only to warn him of course.  
  
"Well Mr. President," she began with only a slight slur in her words (she never did have a good tolerance to alcohol) "Squall may be nicknamed 'The Lionheart' but when it comes to real-life matters he's a bigger chicken that a chocobo."  
  
Laguna chuckled lightly and nodded his head, signaling her to continue as he made mental notes.  
  
"Sure he can handle a gunblade like no other but in the long-run does that even matter!? I mean get a life for hyne's-sake! And his vocabulary…don't get me started on his vocabulary! You'd think the man rated the top of all his classes could form a sentence! Or at least something a tiny bit more colorful than 'Whatever'! The first time I met him I honestly thought he'd come from some foreign country and had only been introduced to that word thinking it meant 'hello' or something. Oh and his lack of any social acknowledgement. What is with his constant longing to be alone? I believe that, given the choice, Squall would have actually preferred to live in complete isolation as long as there were enough monsters around to keep him busy. He's violent. He's…"  
  
"Rinoa…?"  
  
"…annoyingly quiet. He's whipped by his superiors. He…"  
  
"Rinoa…?"  
  
"…can't take a joke. He wears the same thing every, single, stupid day. He.."  
  
"RINOAAA!!!!!" The sorceress looked up from counting faults on her fingers and immediately blushed after realizing how stupid her ranting must of appeared to the president. He crinkled his brow in a confused stare and gingerly place his hand of her shoulder whispering "You're passionate about this aren't you?"  
  
This only caused her to turn, if possible, a deeper shade of crimson. *Nice going Rinoa* she scolded herself, desperately trying to resist the reflex urge to hide under the table *Now he probably thinks you're a perfectionist freak who can't stand perfectly normal people for stupid reasons. Like that girl from magic class who refuses to sit next to me cause I supposedly emit 'vibes of the utmost ignorance regarding philanthropic nature'…I didn't have the heart to tell her that her statement makes no sense whatsoever. Besides, I don't emit 'vibes' of ANY kind…at least I don't think I do.*  
  
Sensing an accumulation of awkward tension, one of the few things President Loire hated, Laguna let out a hearty laugh. His friendly green eyes sparkled in the twilight and Rinoa couldn't help but feel calmed but them.  
  
"You know, if I didn't know any better," he managed to murmur in between huge gulps of air "I'd say you were in love with Squall?"  
  
"WHAT!" she immediately protested, her eyes wide with embarrassment. Though what he was accusing her of was perfectly true, she wasn't going to admit it anytime soon. Especially to his father of all people. "That's…that's crazy Mr. President."  
  
"Laguna."  
  
"Whatever. Sure he's incredibly good looking and sweet at times and even romantic in private but what kinda of girl would ever even consider lov…you know what? I'm going to shut up now." And with that she chugged the remainder of glass and quickly stole a fresh one from one of the warriors sitting next to her. The man stared at her oddly for a few moments before shrugging in defeat and continuing his conversation.  
  
Laguna simply laughed again, clearly amused with the scene of Rinoa's discomfort. "It's all right. You're secrets safe with me. Just be warned. I hear this girlfriends of his, Quistis, can be a real…" he paused and scanned his surroundings before leaning forward and whispering in her ear "B-I-T-C-H."  
  
*You have no idea*  
  
"RINOA!" came a sudden, high-pitched, gasping voice from behind them. Laguna and Rinoa quickly turned to face a clearly hyperventilating Selphie. She strode (more like staggered) up to them, slowly sinking to her knees once reaching the pair and grasping Rinoa's hands desperately (not to mention painfully) in her own, wringing and twisting them nervously. "Squall wouldn't have happen to magically appeared now has he?"  
  
"No" The sorceress tried not to scowl or wince as she shook her head and desperately tried to pry her hands from Selphie's vice-like grip. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"BECAUSE I CAN'T DO A SPEECH!" she yelled loudly, causing a few heads to turn as she threw her hands in the air. "Cid is absolutely CRAZY for even suggesting that I do so. A speech requires…notes! I need notes! A speech requires more than 5 minutes notice. It needs…It needs…I…I need a drink."  
  
Rinoa gladly surrendered her un-touched glass of champagne to her friend who gulped it down greedily. With a refreshed smack of her lips, Selphie was just about to run off when she bumped right into none other that the headmaster himself, checking of course that his backup speaker didn't disappear as well like she was prone to do. He was a smart man Cid.  
  
"Ah! Selphie!" he exclaimed happily, flinging his arm over her shoulder as if too restrain her from running for it. "You ready to go on?"  
  
Selphie somehow managed a weak smile despite the intense feelings of fear brewing within her. "I think I'm…I'm pretty sure I'm…No I'm definitely gonna be sick." And with that, she wrestled herself from Cid's grasp, clamped a hand over her mouth and dashed into the technicians' booth, the only closed off area within reach since the bathrooms required plowing through the ever-growing audience. Not 5 seconds after she entered did the three technicians rush out of their haven, disgusted expressions on their faces.  
  
"Oh dear…" murmured Cid as he, once again, removed his glasses from the bridge of his nose and began wiping them furiously of his vest though they were already spotless. Nervous habit, Rinoa guessed. Coming to the conclusion that Selphie would most likely NOT be returning any time soon, Cid quickly scanned the table for a new victim. "Where's Quistis?" he asked assertively, furious with the possibility that not two but THREE of his best SeeDs didn't show up to a ceremony in their honor. Laguna, Rinoa and Irvine shrugged, all three of them had their own theories on the instructors whereabouts, all of which were not fit for the headmaster's ears. "Irvine," he began, turning toward the cowboy seated 3 places down the table "could you possibly…"  
  
"No way man." He interrupted instantly, not even flinching at the desperate tone in his superior's voice. "It's bad enough sitting in front of this audience but speaking on a moments notice? Way out of my league."  
  
"But you a SeeD!" Cid protested firmly, moving a few steps closer. "Surely you can at least try to…"  
  
"I'm a sniper Sir. Look it up. I doubt you'll find anything remotely close to 'entertainer' in that definition."  
  
Cid let loose a defeated sigh as he, yet again, thoroughly searched for someone...ANYONE who would give an appropriate opening speech. Rinoa tried not to take it personally when his gaze finally did rest upon her a full two minutes later. Strangely, he had avoided looking at her directly the entire night. "I would have preferred a SeeD" the headmaster began, keeping his eyes glued to the floor as he spoke. "but you're still a member of the team. Can you do it?"  
  
Rinoa wanted nothing more than to say no. This was the man that held the leash of her love. He was the one who was, for some reason, ordering them apart. Why? What did he have against her? Why couldn't he have just left them alone? And now he needed her help. Mere hours before she was leaving and a perfect opportunity for revenge had already presented itself. But, of course, Rinoa couldn't bear to let him down.  
  
So, with a last reassuring squeeze on the shoulder from Laguna, Rinoa rose from her seat and followed a relieved Cid to the podium. "Thank you." He whispered to her while tapping the mike to catch the attention of the audience. "You'll make a fine SeeD someday." There was a hint of sadness in his voice as he said this, but before she had time to analyze his reaction, she was being announced.  
  
"*Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen*' Cid's voice boomed over the Quad, bringing the remaining chatters to a sudden halt. " Welcome to the first annual SeeD ball celebrating this organization's finest hour. When six our young students risked their lives by venturing into a Time Compressed future then challenging and defeating the threat of Sorceress Ultimecia once and for all. To think that at this time, a little more than a year ago, these now famous heroes were little more than simple students pressing hard to pass their exams. If you had told me the day Squall, Zell and Selphie became SeeDs that they would save the world…I would have surely laughed. Zell Dincht seemed to care more about hot dogs than his own mother. I was sure that Selphie Tilmitt was using some sort of illegal substance and Squall…well Squall he…" Cid paused as if striving to search for the words to describe him. "Squall Leonhart was destined for SeeD. A born leader. But what caused me to doubt his ability was his lack of the passion, the flare that one needs to become a true hero. Luckily, our next speaker had more than enough for the both of them. Please welcome Ms. Rinoa Heartilly."  
  
A polite applause followed as Rinoa replaced Cid at the podium, avoiding her eyes the entire time. At least now she had some idea of what to talk about. The party members of course. Personal stuff that the magazines haven't heard before. Just go on and go about how challenging it was…blah blah…how it changed my life…blah blah blah…I wouldn't changed the experience for the world…the end.  
  
That seemed easy enough. Of course, not a second after Rinoa's name had been called did a murmur begin to rise.  
  
"Wasn't it supposed to be…"  
  
"I was sure that the program stated that…"  
  
"I can't see him. Maybe he's late saving the world again…"  
  
"I wonder where he could possibly be…"  
  
To sum things up, the question on everyone's mind at that moment was simply; Where the hell is Squall Leonhart?  
  
Who cared about Rinoa Heartilly? She wasn't the leader, she isn't the star, she isn't even SeeD. It was a poor substitute.  
  
She tried to ignore them as she fumbled stupidly with the mike, trying to wrestle it down to her level since Cid was relatively taller. The moment her eyes traveled back to the audience, not one or two, but at least 40 hands were held high in the air. Dotted here and there among the crowd, people waved frantically for her attention and, judging by the sound of Cid clearing his throat loudly, she had to comply.  
  
Pointing at the nearest person in the audience, Rinoa braced herself for insult.  
  
"Marla Williams; Timber maniacs." The woman introduced herself, holding a small tape recorder in her left hand and a champagne glass in the other. "Excuse me Ms. Heartilly but wasn't Squall Leonhart supposed to give the opening address tonight?"  
  
*People are so dense* Rinoa thought, as she bit her tongue to escape insulting the woman for her complete idiocy. Luckily, it was Cid who stepped in, pulling the mike toward him. "Umm…Mr. Leonhart was unable to make it due to personal reasons." He said promptly, as if this answered all their questions. The audience groaned simultaneously, but Cid simply smiled and pushed the mike back toward Rinoa who was about to begin her speech again when another voice rang through the Quad.  
  
"Kale Lymrickk; Esthar Times" bellowed a large man in a tight gray robe/suit. "Mr. Kramer, do you mind telling us, the press, what was possibly so important that Mr. Leonhart could not attend a ceremony in his own honor?"  
  
Again, Cid's feet were heard shuffling to the podium and the mike was yet again pulled from her face. "Well, as I said before, personal reasons which must therefore remain 'personal'. Now if there would be no more interruptions, I would like to move onto the opening address sometime tonight."  
  
The mike was pushed back to her, and Cid (again) took his place at the table. It seemed Cid's last statement worked. No one else had their hands up in the entire audience. Finally she could begin.  
  
She cleared her throat.  
  
Took a sip of water…and  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen. Tonight I have been given the honor of…"  
  
"Mr. Kramer?"  
  
*god damn it*  
  
As Cid rushed up to the podium to answer yet another inquiry about Squall's whereabouts, Rinoa returned to her seat, deciding that her presence was very much pointless. It was only out of politeness that she bothered staying, but enough was enough. Why be forced to endure this crap any longer.  
  
"Good evening Laguna." Rinoa said while hastily gathering the hem of her dress, ignoring the odd stares she was receiving from several people in the audience. "It's been fun." Taking one last swig of champagne, Rinoa began to hastily walk toward the end of the stage where a small, 5-step staircase brought her back to the floor. Back with the 'common people' where everybody thought she belonged. She only got to the second step before she suddenly paused…something was moving in the otherwise still audience. Someone actually. A figure, desperately trying to make its way to the stage through the throng of tables, students and politicians that blocked his path. Murmurs followed his every move.  
  
He aggressively pushed and shoved anyone who was unlucky enough to be in his way, oblivious to the uproar he was creating. What really got everyone's attention was when he threw the president of Dollet into a passing waiter, both of them colliding vigorously followed by the crash of broken glass and several important politicians yelping as they were showered in chilled alcohol. Not that he noticed. He kept his eyes on his one goal…Rinoa.  
  
His angel, frozen in mid-step on the stage. Words could not describe that swell of emotions that built up inside him the moment he saw her face. She was beautiful. She was radiant. And she was to be his for all eternity, and he hers.  
  
By the time Squall reached her, everything had gone still and all eyes were on the 'insane' Commander. The apprehension grew as they stared at each other. Some positioned themselves within shooting range in case Squall made an attempt on her life, for his strides proved his severe anger. They must have been shocked, to say the least, when he yanked the stunned sorceress into his arms…and kissed her.  
  
Not the timid balcony kiss. This one was the passionate ' I want you here and now' kiss that she had been daydreaming about for quite some time now.  
  
At first, she was shocked, caught totally unaware.  
  
Then, she was angry, that he only showed up now!  
  
And, last but not least, she surrendered to him. Her hands, at first clenched and prepared to strike, had somehow found their way around his neck and everything and everyone dissolved into a blissful white blur.  
  
Now this was heaven.  
  
~*~  
  
At the podium, Cid's knuckles turned white as he gripped the microphone so hard he feared it would soon break.  
  
HOW DARE HE!  
  
He had told Squall not to see her. He had been warned of his dismissal if anything even remotely relative to this scene ever occurred! Had all that training been for nothing? What a horrible example was his commanding officer making by deliberately disobeying him in font of not only all of Garden but the media as well.  
  
This can't be happening.  
  
This will ruin everything.  
  
Edea is waiting for Rinoa in Centra.  
  
And she WILL go to Centra.  
  
Tonight.  
  
No matter what.  
  
*(Author's Notes)* Good?….bad?….so-so?…review and tell me. Just for the record; I know it's horrible. But you try writing a serious chapter at 3 o'clock in morning at your friend's house while they blast music and party. Not easy I tell you.  
  
*Thanks, by way to;*  
  
Katie; (who made it possibly to post this chapter minus my own computer)  
  
Green-pixie-stick-fearie51; you rule. Hehe. I'm glad someone thought it was a good idea to make Quistis a slut.  
  
Dark Raion; You're prolly not gonna read this since you are way too busy with your own fics to read mine but all the same; I love you man!  
  
Purple Rose; Always on my favorite list of people. Hope you come up with another, long final fantasy fic soon. Looking forward to it.  
  
Vick330; Thanks for the MANY reviews and the email of ideas. I love them as you know and plan to incorporate them in my next chapter.  
  
Computer-geekz; another great writer which I am honored to have read my lame story.  
  
Optical Goddess; You're just cool and you know it. Hehe. Hope you start writing again soon.  
  
TO ALL MY REVIEWS EVER!!…and my coffee. Coffee had a big part in this whether you believe it or not. 


	10. Tonight and the Rest of My Life

*Author's Notes* Oh crap! That was the longest pause EVER! But lets not dwell on that *nervous giggle*. Think of the good news: IM BACK! MUAHAHAH! So this is my last day of Christmas vacation and I said to myself "Self," I said "You better do something awe-inspiring and productive in your last day! Hell you've been doing nothing but lounging around pointlessly for the past two weeks". So that's how I decided to continue this chapter. It's sad to think that I actually started this chapter over 7 months ago!! But I didn't think to finish it till today. It's not as long as the others (*sorry*) cause I just want to post ANYTHING today. So yeah.enjoy (if you can)  
  
(Just for the record: this entire first section was written by one of the most amazing authors on fanfiction.net. He is Vick330 and his story 'your thousand seas' is one of the best fics so if you haven't read it .look it up! Anyway, he emailed me a while ago (A LONG while ago) with a 3-page note full of, not only suggestions, but also an entire section written as an example of what he meant. This 'example' as he called it, turned out to be an incredibly well written and insightful addition to my fic. So I've decided to add it to my story. Thank you soo much!)  
  
~*Chapter 10*~  
  
Tonight and the Rest of my Life  
  
*Things always look better when you can't see them* -Woody Allen  
  
There are those moments in life when you bet all on one number, or on one roll of the dice, and you lose... everything.  
  
In those moments people either freeze, and are unable to think, or the total opposite happens, bringing things into crystal-clear clarity. Quistis Trepe was experiencing the latter.  
  
She suddenly understood that she had been wrong in her approach since the very beginning, and that now she was simply harvesting what she had sowed.  
  
(AN: see! I could never come up with this!)  
  
She had tried to get Squall to notice her, but always in an indirect manner, hoping that he would realize all she had to offer. She had always dreamt that he would come to her, declare his love for her, care for her...  
  
Even when she had been with him in the 'secret area' she had tried to have his sympathy, counting on his need to act as the strong one and comfort her. Quistis realized that all her actions had for sole purpose to get his attention, and make him see how desirable she was. And now even that might backfire, promiscuity was frowned upon in the rigid structure of Garden, and her position as an instructor might be -or already was- jeopardized. She was a hero, but if Cid wanted her ousted for her behavior it would happen - the Headmaster wasn't known to be lenient with those who blatantly defied Garden's rules.  
  
She had already lost Squall -no, she had never owned him anyway- what she had lost was her chance at happiness, and now she stood to lose her career too. All... she had sacrificed all in the hopes that the man she loved would reciprocate her feelings. It would never happen, her beautiful dream would never materialize, his touch would never soothe her, his lips would never take her breath away...  
  
Now... Rinoa.  
  
Rinoa had been direct and honest with her feelings for Squall, telling him exactly what her hopes and dreams were, and what she wanted from him. Where Quistis had lightly tapped on the walls the Commander had built around himself, Rinoa had pounded with fierce determination - at the risk of being rejected and hurt. Was it why she herself had never taken a straightforward approach? For fear of rejection? Would things have been different if, instead of sending veiled messages to Squall, she had uttered the words she just had a long time ago?  
  
'I love you...' - three simple words, and yet so hard to say...  
  
Suddenly, two strong hands grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her up. She managed to get her feet under her, and then she was dragged -gently but firmly- in a secluded part of the Quad. Still in shock, she didn't have enough of her wits about her to react. For a moment, her heart hoped that Squall had changed his mind, but it wasn't him. She looked up to two sea- green eyes, set on a face where a mixture of annoyance and -surprisingly- concern could be read.  
  
*(k. That's the end of Vicks written part. It's good eh?.. This is me from now on.. Sorry!)*  
  
She squinted stupidly at her aggressor, desperately trying to match his fuzzy frame with the identities in her head, but coming up empty. Her vision and senses were so clouded over with alcohol and hurt that she probably wouldn't have been able to distinguish the difference between a human and a Behemoth if presented with the opportunity. What right did.whoever this was have to interrupt her grieving?  
  
"Geoff meee." She slurred angrily at whomever was holding her, struggling weakly to free herself from his tight grip on her shoulders, but to no avail. He was stronger, taller and (not to mention) sober. He was also.oddly familiar.  
  
Very familiar in fact.  
  
The instructor's blues eyes grew wide in fear as recognition hit her.  
  
*No.it couldn't be* she thought as she yet again forced herself to look into his eyes. Those green eyes that she had spent many years glaring at when scolding him for not paying attention. And that famous smug smirk that had taunted her since she was a little girl.  
  
It was him.It was HE.it was the sorceress' lapdog as he was most commonly referred to by Squall and the other orphanage gang members. And here he was, 'coincidentally' appearing at the most humiliating moment in her life.  
  
But why was he here?  
  
How did he get in?  
  
What's he going to do?  
  
"Seifer.?" she asked, as if just to make sure she wasn't having some really weird daydream.  
  
The figure paused for as second, almost as if he were considering his identity, then managed a curt nod, his gaze never wavering from her for a second.  
  
They stayed like this for what must have been at least a few minutes. Just staring. Each trying to determine what to do with the other.  
  
Quistis pondered her options. They were pretty much alone. If she yelled would anyone hear her? If she ran would she make it two steps before he caught her? Fighting wasn't even an option due to her current state and the fact that she had no weapon. If he wanted her dead she didn't stand a chance.what a horrible way to die. Just having been dismissed by the one you loved. You're life having been ruined with a few simple words.  
  
Suddenly, they were pulled out of their staring contest as the loud complaining voices of some snobby politicians who had spilt their drinks on each other drifted their way. With this, Seifer sprung to action, muttering a faint "Follow me Instructor" before grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the exit.  
  
In her mind, she tried to stop. She was begging herself to scream in protest and attract the attention of those near to come and save her. But then she had a revelation.  
  
*Come to think of it.this was a perfect time to die.  
  
It would end the pain.  
  
It would end the troublesome thoughts.  
  
It would finally end.  
  
Thank Hyne it would all end.*  
  
With this in mind, Quistis Trepe more than willingly followed Seifer Almasy, a known enemy, out of the ballroom and into the unknown.  
  
~*~  
  
Squall and Rinoa parted slowly from their embrace only to be instantly greeted by a series of yells and whoops from the students followed by scowling politicians and about a million camera flashes as the reporters' minds already conceived their top story headlines.  
  
TIMBER MANIACS: SeeD anniversary ball turned into a teenage frat party by none other than the honored commander himself  
  
ESTHAR TIMES: SeeD Scandal! (The commander's secret relationship with the sorceress Rinoa, enemy of SeeD, and a student of Garden! Turn to page 2 for more)  
  
And finally.  
  
BALAMB STUDENTS PAPER: Revelation of the month: Despite the immovable beliefs of the majority of the student body, Commander Squall Leonhart is neither a homosexual nor castrated as proven last night when.  
  
Not that Squall was really worrying about all the trouble he was in at the moment. The fact that it wasn't only Cid who frowned upon his relationship with Rinoa did cause a little trepidation in his heart though. Not only did social laws put the odds against him in the case of a leader dating a student, but when the world learned that one of the most powerful men ever, with the strongest military power in his command was under the influence of a sorceress.well let's just say all hell would break loose.  
  
Squall pulled his eyes away from the crowd to look at the woman in his arms, and as soon as he did all his worries melted away.  
  
Hyne she was beautiful. With her simple yet elegant dress all twisted around the waist, her eyes half-closed as if savoring the moment and her lips slightly parted still wallowing in the glory of their heated embrace, she had the appearance of a perfectly normal yet flustered woman. She was so pure.so innocent. And in that moment, Squall made a promise to himself...or to her more specifically.  
  
No matter what the future holds for them, whether it be war, blood, agony, horror or even death.he would never EVER leave her side. 'till death do us part.'  
  
"Rinoa.?" he asked in a whisper as the cameras continued to snap, their bulbs flashed and the volume of chatter rose.  
  
The woman and his arms seemed to be brought back down to earth at the sound of his voice. And her passionate, hooded eyes widened in surprise as if she only just then realized what was happening. "Oh Hyne Squall." she whispered in a tight voice as her eyes suddenly filled with unspent tears. Slowly and cautiously she raised her hands to his face, tending tracing his features with her fingers as if to prove to herself that this was, in fact, real. He smiled at her reaction and pulled her palm to his lips to reassure them with a soft kiss.  
  
"You came." she said at last in such a small voice that only Squall, who was a few inches from her lips, could hear her. "I thought..I was so sure that.I can't believe.I love you so much". She already felt the warm tears began to slide down her face, yet she didn't care. In his arms nothing seemed to matter any more and least of all the public's opinion of her. Burying her face in his chest, Rinoa held onto him as tightly as she could, with every intention of never leaving the warmth and comfort that the simple act of having his arms around her brought.  
  
But Squall, for some reason, was incredibly tense. She could feel it in the way his arms were stiff on her back reminding her much like when he first held her on the Ragnarok. He was nervous.VERY nervous. Then again who wouldn't be after the scene he just made in front of all the press. But there was something else.she knew. She didn't know how she knew but for some reason she could feel his emotions as if they were her own.and right now he was on the verge of collapsing in fear. Fear for what?.an answer? Yes an answer. His emotions were very precise.but then it only peaked her curiosity to know what was the question?  
  
"Rinoa." he began once more, taking a large gulp of air. His breath was hot against her cheek making her almost dizzy in the delight of their closeness to one another. "I have something to ask you."  
  
Reluctantly, she pulled away from him. Her tears had already dried yet they had left their mark and her skin was red and her eyes still shining yet, with all the courage she could muster, she looked deep into his azure eyes, now feeling a little worried after the shock of his appearance had worn off. He must have had some great reason as to why he so boldly ran in here. Could that reason possibly be.to say goodbye? Her stomach quickly plummeted at the thought.  
  
"I have.to ask you something," he repeated, trembling with anticipating and fear making Rinoa all the more uncomfortable.  
  
*He wouldn't do that* she thought to herself *There's no way he completely disregard Garden like that only to do what they wanted in the first place. Unless this whole thing was set up.in order for him to prove to the headmaster how much he DIDN'T need me.  
  
No.Nobody's THAT cruel.not even Squall Leon-heartless as the majority of his peers calls him. He wouldn't. He truly wouldn't.  
  
Would he?*  
  
Squall couldn't help but notice the change in her emotions as well. He couldn't explain how he knew what she was thinking.but somehow he did. He felt happiness and passion at first.then angst.then apprehension.and now pure fear. Maybe he went about this whole thing the wrong way.  
  
First, his actually showing up and then making a huge scene by kissing her. In the middle of the speeches too!  
  
Perhaps, the proposal would be a little too much in one night. Rinoa had always been simple in her requests. He was now sure that maybe she'd prefer this to be a private moment. He sure as hell wouldn't mind getting away from all the babble and millions of questions that were being thrown at him from the audience members who were literally tripping over themselves in order to get closer to the couple for better shots. Quite carefully, so as not to alert suspicion, Squall casually put his hand inside his pocket and let the ring, which was tightly clasped in his fist, drop into it while scanning the area for an accessible escape root. What he saw almost made him burst out laughing.almost. Until he thought of what Selphie would do to him after she came back and noticed what he had done to her soo carefully planned party.  
  
The once 'elegant' ballroom filled only minutes ago by all the most pristine and down to earth people in the entire world.now resembled a scene from a bad movie involving mental patients attempting to have a dinner party.  
  
Tables were pushed over, their dishes and drinks all scattered on the floor forming what resembled as slippery sea of liquor mixed with jagged pieces of broken plates.  
  
Most of the students, having had to contain their semi-drunken selves while waiting for the exhausting ceremony to end, had finally mutually decided to let loose. One, whom Squall recognized from an eighth year class, was now hanging on the chandelier having located a float spell to bring him up to the high ceiling. Others were hastily bringing out hidden kegs and dragging them out to the dance area.  
  
Politicians and world leaders were either running for the exit, drying them selves off from having slipped into pools of champagne, or were wrenched in the throng of reporters who rushed to the stage, running over anyone who got in their way of getting the best picture of the mind boggling event.  
  
*Selphie is going to kill me* was the only thought on his mind as he more desperately searched for an exit.  
  
And then he also noticed the people seated on the stage, all whom were either nervously eyeing the crowd of people pushing with all their might to get closer against the strong arms of security or simply chatting with one another as if nothing surprising had happened at all. These people were warriors and genetic scientists. and therefore they had all witnessed some pretty strange things in their lifetimes. Something as shocking as Squall's act had not moved them in the least. Hell, most of them probably wouldn't have been surprised if they came across a couple of imps having a tea party.  
  
Involuntarily, Squall's eyes focused on Laguna, the one man in the entire room who seemed to have a genuine solitary and calm air about him. Neither surprised nor fearful was his expression. He didn't wither under Squall's unwavering glare as they stared at each other. And for a few seconds time seemed to stop.or go in slow motion at least. And all the noise and people around them both became nothing more than shadows and soft murmuring.  
  
Of course, when they first met, Squall couldn't help but notice the slight yet significant resemblance he had to the president of Esthar. But it had passed through his mind quickly and was soon forgotten. It has been a year since he last saw him face-to-face, and now, equipped with new knowledge, Squall couldn't help but yet again find the similarities and analyze them intently.  
  
Every time he looked in the mirror he had tried to find some sign of his parents gazing out at him through the glass since he had discover what it meant to be an orphan. Once discovering their identities, it was easy to see what he had inherited through Raine.  
  
His eyes, his hair, his insuppressible urge to scold everyone.all those traits of his mother.  
  
But from Laguna.he had never bothered to look. Their relationship was so obvious yet unclear at the same time. Only now could he see it. Their very bone structure was exact. Same facial features, same build, same height.it was all obvious now. Why couldn't he have seen it before? Maybe he could have skipped that whole episode he had had when Ellone told him the truth. Maybe his anger would have lessened and he would have had enough sense to listen to Laguna's story of what had happened in the past, which ended up with him in the orphanage.  
  
He wanted to know.Hyne he wanted to know so badly, and then at least he'd be free of people bothering him about Laguna. If only he had the whole story.then he could legitimately hate him all he wanted too.  
  
Laguna, who was still sitting at the table on the stage, stared back at his son and smiled.  
  
He had surely already gone through the recognition phase back during the war with Ultimecia. Yet this moment was significant for now they both knew. And for the first time they saw each other not associates.but as father and son.  
  
Though his stupid pride and anger was desperately trying to force itself out in some form of rude gesture, Squall held on tighter to Rinoa, and with her by his side, he somehow managed to smile back. And then he made a second promise to himself that night.  
  
One day.not today and definitely not tomorrow, but one day he would agree to hear Laguna's story. He sure as hell didn't expect much to change after that encounter. He'd probably even hate the man more.but then no one would dare say he didn't try.  
  
"Come on," he said to Rinoa, taking her delicate hand into his. "Let's get out of here." She nodded in reply and gratefully followed him up on the stage, as he headed for a small door in the back which she knew led to a small staircase and up onto the second floor hallway.  
  
No sooner was his hand on the doorknob that Squall felt an amazingly strong hand grab his shoulder and pull him back. At first he thought it was no one other than an over-enthusiastic reporter, desperate to get a statement before the commander got away. Then, realizing security was doing a fine job of keeping them all beyond reach, he thought that it was Laguna with his usual horrible timing, hoping to have that "chat". But no.it was even worse than Laguna (and few things are worse in Squall's opinion).  
  
It was into Headmaster Cid's eyes that he glared once he faced the intruder. And no sooner than the commander saw the expression on his superior's face that he knew he wasn't leaving Garden alive.  
  
"We need to talk." He said.  
  
It was a simple statement. Seemingly simple and innocent save to the few who could pick up the pure anger in his tone. It was almost terrifying to see any man, let alone the headmaster, in this sort of fit where pure negative emotion is brought up by personal hurt. Yet the Commander did not waver. Rinoa, sensing his unease, held his hand more tightly. And that was all the reassurance he needed.  
  
"I'm sorry headmaster Cid. But as of this moment I no longer take orders from you."  
  
"Commander Leonhart, if you value your head you will come quietly to..."  
  
"Was that a threat Mr. Kramer?" Squall said in mock offence. "I'm sure the world council would think differently on your appointment as headmaster if they knew you threatened civilians."  
  
"Was THAT a threat Leonhart?.or need I remind you that you work for me?"  
  
"You seem to misunderstand me Mr. Kramer. I just resigned my position." He heard Rinoa gasp besides him and she dropped his hand in complete shock. Cid too seemed surprised, for his mouth hung open in suspense.but a witty comeback would do nothing to save him in this case. Squall, sensing the opportunity to finalize this once and for all, raised his arm to his left shoulder, outlining with his fingers the SeeD emblem patched in gold to his uniform, symbolizing his position as commander. In one swift movement, he tore the patch off his coat and placed it carefully into the headmaster's hands.  
  
A collective gasp was heard from the reporters flocked a few meters away, and though none of them could actually hear the conversation, they knew what was happening. More camera's flashed, the murmur rose significantly in volume, and a surplus of questions poured into their ears from all sides. Yet Cid and Squall still managed to block it all out, as they simply stared.  
  
"Goodbye Cid Kramer." Squall whispered to him, extending his hand for a friendly shake. "It HASN'T been a pleasure. Enjoy you precious Garden and all the fucking prejudice that comes with it."  
  
The headmaster could do no more than stare at the ruined emblem in his hand.it symbolized so much for him. The design of it, much like that of Garden, had seemed so beautiful and bright in his mind. And so it was when it first stated out. Then came the financial problems and with them came NORG and in the end, the academy meant to train people for defense against one of the greatest threats to the world.became nothing more than a form of military prostitution. These youngsters, little innocent orphans like Squall, he sent them to fight for money.and he often sent them to their doom.  
  
With these thoughts continually circling their minds, it was enough to drive anyone mad.  
  
"What has become of us.what is our purpose.?" he whispered to himself, clenching the patch so tightly in his fist that his nails dug into his palm and he began to bleed. Squall's aura of pride and victory quickly turned to worry and Rinoa quickly rushed in between them, gently grabbed the headmaster's wrist in hopes of stopping his self-torture.  
  
"Sir.?" she whispered, bringing him out of his trance. "Sir, are you alright?"  
  
Cid slowly loosened his grip as his tried hard to hold back the tears threatening to surface. Ever so slowly he lifted his head to gaze into the soft brown eyes of Rinoa.and immediately his resolve returned.  
  
SeeD DID have a purpose.HE did had a purpose. And that was to get the Sorceress to Centra by dawn.and the only person who'd be able to pull it off would be Squall himself.  
  
"I'm fine Rinoa dear.thank you." He wiped his eyes quickly with his sleeve and smiled to reassure her. Then, reluctantly, he turned back to his ex- commander. "I accept your resignation Leonhart. But only if, for me, Cid, and not the headmaster, will you please let me speak with you?"  
  
Squall's anger returned.he knew exactly why Cid wanted to talk to him. And he simply refused to give in. He'd probably make up some stupid negotiation about allowing him to see Rinoa but only as long as it was within Garden boundaries and blah blah blah.but he had had enough of compromises. For once in his life he wanted to have complete and utter freedom! And no one was going to take that chance away.  
  
Preparing a 'tasteful' way of saying HELL NO, Squall's thoughts were interrupted but none other than the subject herself.  
  
"Please go see him Squall." she said while stepping in front of him and gazing lovingly into his eyes. "If you really are leaving, then don't you think the man who practically raised you deserves at least as goodbye?" He pondered this for a while and though it was but a request, the fact that she did not order him about made him all the more willing to comply.  
  
"5 minutes" he told the headmaster. Who nodded swiftly and gestured to the same door Squall was planning to make his exit from before.  
  
Turning his attentions back to Rinoa, he kissed he softly on the lips while discreetly slipping a keycard into her hand. "Meet me in my room" he whispered soothingly in her ear and whether it was wishful thinking or not, Rinoa could swear she heard lust in his words. But before she could make a joke as to his intentions, both he and the headmaster were gone.  
  
*Author's Notes* Well what do ya know. It wasn't that short after all. Though I have been sitting here for a REALLY long time and my back is about to break. But it was worth it! Review please! 


	11. Breathe

*Author's Notes* Woah.as of now I officially declare "Laguna chan" to be my favorite person in the world! Lol.that was a freaking long review! And you have no idea how much it meant to me that somebody appreciates my stories so much.personally I think they're crap but that's cause I've been part of fanfiction.net for over a year and have therefore been overshadowed by the TRUE great writers of final fantasy fanfiction. Check out my 'favorites' on my bio page some day.I have all the best of the best on my list including Dark Raion, Ashbear, Wayward Tempest and many many more (these are just a few of the classic ff8 authors here.all my favs are bout Squall and Rinoa by the way). But because this note is becoming REALLY long I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to all reviewers! After ignoring this fic for so long I was reminded of how much I loved it when I received all those nice messages from people. And thus I decided to continue.hopefully a little more quickly this time. Enjoy!  
  
~*Chapter 11*~  
  
Breathe.Just Breathe  
  
*Common sense is not so common.* -Anonymous  
  
The journey up to Cid's office couldn't have been short enough in Squall's opinion. Now that the first phase of his plan was done (the part where he showed his love for Rinoa and disowned SeeD) he was more than anxious to get the rest of it over with before he lost his nerve. Cid had a habit of trying to brainwash people.but he would not succeed tonight. Not if the ex-commander had any strength left in him yet.  
  
*5 minutes* he vowed to himself as he cautiously stepped over the threshold and, once again, entered the overwhelming office of the headmaster, who held the door for him. He had never seen this part of Garden during night hours.and somehow it seemed more tranquil and serene than the last time he had visited. He guessed it was the blinding light from behind Cid's chair that made he look so God-like during the day. But here, in the twilight, he appeared to be nothing more intimidating than a fragile, elderly man. Once the door was closed behind them, Cid made his way to his large desk and for the first time, Squall noticed details in the headmaster's composure that he had never before given thought to.  
  
His limbs, that had once been muscular in his soldier years, were now bony and thin. His skin was loose and was beginning to gather around his eyes and his chin. His once mighty strides were but careful limping motions now. He even needed the support of the desk in order to be able to safely lower himself into his infamous, gigantic leather chair.  
  
Though it had seemed impossible not too long ago, Cid Kramer seemed sickly, weak and, quite frankly.he seemed old.  
  
Pity almost overthrew Squall then and there before he even had a chance to sit down. This man.this great leader had spent his whole life on one single purpose: to defend the known world from the threat of the sorceress. And what had his quest given him? Nothing but years of loneliness due to the loss of his wife, regret, anger, fear and yes.maybe a bit of recognition when he finally did conquer ONE sorceress.but then there was always another. And the cycle repeated itself.  
  
Cid was fighting a lost cause. And it was clear that he had intended Squall Leonhart of all people to continue in his place after the years took him. He had put all his hope in that young man.everything he had worked for was at risk due to the actions of the same person he had trusted the most. And though Squall knew perfectly well that he never asked for this responsibility, and he was still entitled to his own life and his own decisions.the legitimate excuses did nothing to help bear to guilt.  
  
How Garden would suffer after he and Rinoa were gone.  
  
How Cid personally would suffer.  
  
The man had practically raised him.  
  
Desperate not to appear as shaken as he actually felt, Squall attempted to casually sit down on one of the chairs in front of the large mahogany desk, but his nervousness became obvious as he missed his mark and fell quite loudly on the hard wood floor, bringing the chair down with him with a booming crash. Cid chuckled from above. A somewhat forced, throaty laugh that sounded almost painful as it was interrupted now and then by hacking coughs.  
  
How come he had never noticed this before?  
  
Cid was old.he was sick.he needed all the help he could get with Garden.  
  
*What am I doing?* Squall thought as he quickly pulled himself up and started to re-arrange to furniture to its original settings. *I can't leave now.He needs me.I must..*  
  
"Don't." His thoughts were interrupted as the headmaster raised his hand to signal his commander to stop thinking. He coughed again a little into his palm and waited for him to sit down again before continuing. "I beg of you." he pleaded in a small yet authoritative voice "whatever comes out of this conversation.please don't feel sorry for me."  
  
"I didn't say."  
  
"You didn't have to say anything Squall. You were thinking it.I know." He allowed himself a small sigh and shook his head in disbelief. There was no getting past Cid.that much was obvious. It was weird how well the man knew him. Almost as much as Rinoa did but not quite. Though now frail, he still refused to be pitied.and Squall was eternally grateful for that. It meant that whatever this conversation may lead too, it would be open and honest. No falsehoods would be shared in an attempt to convince one opinion better than the other. For guilt was an easy emotion to prey on.and surely, if Cid had not been the honorable man that he was, his condition would surely have people eating out of his hand.  
  
"I'm old Squall." Cid began finally after a few moments of silence. Five minutes had surely passed by the time they began talking, but neither of them was counting anymore. "You probably know that I was hoping you'd fill in for me someday.someday soon in fact when I'd no longer be around."  
  
Squall nodded reluctantly and avoided his eyes "I guessed sir."  
  
"But that's not the reason I brought you here my boy.that's far from the reason. I had great plans for you but none of them matter when it comes to the grand scheme of things.when it comes to the well being of the entire world, personal desires seem insignificant don't they?"  
  
"Rinoa is not dangerous sir!" he yelled, in a voice much louder than he had intended. Well beyond the tone of civilized conversation in fact. Yet if one thing angered him about the headmaster, it was the way he always beat around the bush. Forcing his adversary to bring up painful subjects first. But tonight he had no time for mind games. The clock had re-entered his mind and he had the girl of his dreams simply waiting for him upstairs.after a whole year, he didn't expect her to wait much longer. "I have resigned SeeD so there is no more need for your worrying about her 'influence' over me. You no longer have any other reason to keep her here other than your selfish need to prove yourself to the world! To be the man who holds the keys to the jail of the most powerful threat!"  
  
"Squall." Cid said in a dangerous tone, very close to crossing the line himself in anger of these false accusations. "Are you implying that I want to keep her here like a prisoner simply for publicity?"  
  
"You tell me? How much does the world council pay you for keeping the sorceress out of their way?"  
  
"." Cid remained silent for a while after that outburst, and for a few tense moments, Squall actually believed that he had dug up the truth at last. But Cid seemed unmoved by the allegation. He casually removed his glasses and began cleaning them with the fabric of his vest, as was his habit, while he left the foolish youngster to ponder his words.  
  
And ponder he did.  
  
Taking a moment to compose himself, Squall stared at the headmaster and attempted to see things from his perspective. Cid was simply doing what he thought was best. It had nothing to do with money or power, he had always known that, and yet that begged the question: What was the point of all this arguing?  
  
"I'm sorry" Squall said at last with a sigh, as he stood up briskly from his chair and walk toward the back wall of the office. Gently, he leaned his head upon the cool glass and blankly stared out into the dark, bland fields of Balamb.  
  
How many times had he stared out onto this same scene? Every night it seemed since he came to Garden. And never before had the boring plains of the outside world seemed so tempting and beautiful. Quickly glancing up towards the heavens Squall waiting patiently for some sort of inspiration to come to correct this rather cruel mistake, for as he already insulted Cid enough with his resignation, he still didn't want to leave Garden on a sour note.  
  
Then, as if on cue, a single star streaked across the sky and, allowing himself a secret smile, his determination immediately returned.  
  
"You've told me countless thousands of times that 'Rinoa is going to turn on you', and 'Rinoa is being searched for to be used as a tool of war' and, the most common, 'Rinoa will be your doom'." he paused to take a breath, carefully backing away from the glass as though afraid he may fall through it. "And yet, I somehow can't seem to care." Finding strength in his own words, he turned back to face the headmaster who sat patiently, simply listening. Squall took his silence as hint to continue his case.  
  
"There is no doubt that not too long ago I would have jumped off a cliff if you, or any superior officer, asked me too. But, and this goes without saying, I've changed since then. SHE changed me. She taught me that there's more to life than always doing what other people order you to do without question. And so, the point of my saying all this is that." he stopped again, desperately scanning the area, hoping to find the words he was looking for. Luckily, Cid found them for him.  
  
"You want proof," he said, while drumming his fingers on his arm rest. "You're starting to question things more and more and you have no reason, no experience at all that suggests that every horrible thing I've said will happen, will actually happen. Am I correct?"  
  
Squall nodded curtly. His reasons for disobeying Cid were not exactly far fetched. What sane man would simply give up on the love of his life without any evidence whatsoever that she was in fact dangerous?  
  
"I see." He looked about him for a while, tapping his fingers together as if in boredom as the SeeD waited for any sign that the conversation was indeed over. Finally, as if suddenly remembering, Cid's fingers ceased their drumming and he quickly turned his chair and typed a complicated number combination into the keypad on his desk. Instantly a hidden drawer popped up from the floor next to his right leg and before Squall had a chance to question, he continued.  
  
"What if you did have proof Squall? If I presented to you authentic justification that Rinoa was indeed IN danger if not A danger.what would you do?"  
  
He remained silent for a moment. He didn't like where this conversation was heading too. * Why is he speaking so confidently? * Squall thought, suddenly nervous. *What is in that hidden drawer? There's no way he has solid evidence that Rinoa would turn evil. History is theory, not evidence. Why haven't I walked out yet?*  
  
"If Rinoa was in danger, I would to what is necessary to save her." He responded smoothly, though his heart rate had increased significantly since the appearance of the secret compartment.  
  
"You would do anything for her. wouldn't you?"  
  
"Anything." This was a question he could easily answer. "I would die for her."  
  
This was a promise.  
  
Cid smiled "I do not doubt that my boy. I never doubted how special she is to you. Hyne knows it would take nothing less than a machine gun to your head for anyone else to get you to dance." He both chuckled lightly, but then stopped abruptly as he cautiously reached into the drawer and pulled out a damaged and dirty manila envelope.  
  
Though Squall had no idea why, but the sight of it made him shudder. For he knew, he didn't know how or why but he knew, that the contents of that envelope would change his life forever.  
  
"These arrived a few hours ago." He pulled out a small pile of paper from the envelope, some of it documents and some of it pictures. He flipped through it casually, not giving Squall any hint that he should see them yet. "I didn't tell you this, but there is a plausible reason behind every 'crazy' theory I have fed you about Rinoa. Most of them based on history of past sorceress...but I think we both agree that history cannot be taken seriously in this case. Though I don't like the idea of there being of large CHANCE that she will turn, I would not insist on you being apart if I wasn't sure. You know that right?"  
  
Squall made no move, but kept his eyes glued to the papers held in the headmaster's hands. Cid noticed this and continued more quickly.  
  
"I've had a spy down in Galbadia for a while, since the war in fact just in case they decided to be idiots and start something up again like they did during the last sorceress war." Cautiously, he handed the pile to Squall, his hands shook uncontrollable as he did so and the ex-commander was reluctant to take them, but his curiosity overcame his fear and soon he was flipping through them. "Seems instead of realizing how stupid the whole thing was, Galbadia has decided that during that war was the peak of their supremacy.a peak that was most beneficial to the entire population and which they would kill to reign again."  
  
But Squall wasn't listening, he was to busy fitfully scanning the pages in his hands. There were pictures.  
  
Pictures of shrines built around Deling city to Edea.  
  
Pictures of citizens cheering as they watched the Garden world peace center burn to the ground.  
  
Pictures of armies that outnumbered SeeDs worldwide 10 to 1.  
  
Pictures of General Carraway standing at a podium, hosting a pep rally with millions of citizens chanting his name as he held up a pile of paper. His official war declaration.  
  
And finally, the document itself. Phrases were highlighted here and there as he went through it.  
  
*I, general caraway, the epitome of Galbadia and all it stands for, declare..*  
  
*SeeD has become our dictator.its so called "peace project" is no more than oppression to our people.*  
  
*We have the right to expand and become as strong as we once were without these ridiculous constraints disallowing us to better ourselves.*  
  
*We can be strong again, we can be like we once were.*  
  
*All we need is a leader. Someone who can lead us back into the light.*  
  
*We need another Edea.*  
  
*We need the sorceress.and I, General Fury Carraway, will deliver her to you*  
  
*I promise.Rinoa Heartilly will be ours within the week*  
  
His hands were shaking by the time he finished reading. With a gasp his fingers grew limp and the entire pile fell to the floor with an echoing thud.  
  
The silence was deafening.  
  
"I've had my suspicions for a while. But I refused to act until I was certain that Galbadia would first.Nida called last night. He confirmed that Carraway has mobilized his army. That means." he trailed off while lowering his gaze to his hands, knowing very well that Squall knew what he meant, though neither of them wanted to give it words. Not yet.  
  
"A lot of people died to get us this information. I'm telling you this not to inflict guilt. Only to justify how serious this situation is. And also, perhaps, to explain why I have been so hard on you in situations regarding her."  
  
When he finally gathered the courage to face Leonhart, he found him neither shocked nor sad. He stared out through the glass wall, as if simply enjoying the view with an air of indifference.  
  
Eerie indifference.  
  
"Squall?" he asked, cautiously standing up from his chair and approaching him. "Are you alright?" He was careful to keep his distance yet appearing not so, just in case the revelation was too much. His silence was more disturbing than his arguing.it confirmed Cid's fear that something had definitely snapped in the youngster's mind.  
  
He just continued to stare out into the wilderness. Maybe he was expecting the Galabadian army to march over the hills with more soldiers than he could count. Or maybe he was waiting for the missiles to comes flying over the horizon like they did last time. Either way, he was patiently waiting for doom in any form to stare him in the face and consume him.  
  
"I'm sorr."  
  
"Don't say it." Squall interrupted, speaking at last with a dead, tight voice. "Don't you dare say you're sorry for me." He turned to face him and Cid couldn't help but notice his eyes shining with unspent tears, and his heart went out to him then. Squall hadn't cried since he was 6 years old when his sister left him. Every time something as shocking and heart wrenching as this had happened to him, no matter how much his heart urged to let go he would always find some corner to hide in until the feeling passed. Not once in 14 years had anyone seen Squall Leonhart shed an actual tear. And even now, when he was faced with his worst trial yet, not even now would he let the physical effects of emotion gain control.  
  
"It's alright though..." he wiped his eyes with his sleeve, the fabric quickly absorbing the few traces of tears that had begun too pool. Why was he so concerned? So what if Carraway was after Rinoa. That just meant that their leaving together would be even more convenient. "I'll take Rinoa away. Away where neither you nor Galbadia could ever find us."  
  
But Cid shook his head sadly. "That won't work Squall. We have arranged."  
  
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU'VE ARRANGED!" he screamed, as he kicked the glass wall so hard that it cracked and splintered. Cid didn't flinch, even as the screeching wind suddenly filled their ears as small shards fell into the courtyard hundreds of feet below them. He leaned his head against the glass again, as if it were the only thing that could give him comfort in the room.  
  
"Rinoa will leave with me. We'll leave Garden and we won't have to hear about war or Galbadia or Garden or anything!"  
  
"And you think that'll solve all your problems Squall? You think that if you run you could just forget about us and let Galbadia blow us all up! You've seen what their capable of. Even without the sorceress, it'll just delay the inevitable victory."  
  
"Then what do you expect us to do?" he snapped back "stay here so that they can just take her when they arrive?!"  
  
"Of course not! There's no doubt that she has to leave. If you would just listen."  
  
"Good, then that's settled." He strode towards the door with every intention of running through it and never turning back but Cid beat him to it and blocked the entrance. "Don't make me kill you Cid."  
  
The glint in his eyes told the headmaster that he was serious.  
  
"I would have thought you were smarter than that Squall. I would have thought you were braver. Is this what you plan to do for the rest of your life when the going gets tough? If, Hyne forbid, Rinoa does inherit the lust for power that ALL sorceresses to date have, will you just walk out and let her wreak havoc!?"  
  
"I will stay by her side.no matter what." Was his simple and honest reply.  
  
"I believe you would Squall. And don't you see that that is precisely the problem! Do you honestly believe that your destiny is too become someone's puppet for the rest of your life?"  
  
"Rinoa is different!"  
  
"Rinoa is, yes.but the sorceress isn't." he looked Squall in the eyes after saying this, seeing nothing but hate and fury, but searching for realization. "Please understand my boy, for both her safety and that of the world. She has to go someplace safe, with someone who knows how to handle her. And, where not even you know of her whereabouts."  
  
Squall was silent for while after. Neither angry nor understanding.simply thoughtful. To him it didn't make sense. If Rinoa had to leave why shouldn't he be the one to go with her? They needed someone would could "handle" her.well who else could do so better than the one person she trusted most?  
  
"You think to yourself too much" Cid said, sensing the millions of questions forming in his mind, left unexpressed. Again, the SeeD had to work hard to suppress his violent urges.  
  
"You want to hear what I think? I think you're crazy. I think you're an arrogant pessimist who only sees things getting worse and not better and is determined to make my life miserable. How is the world supposed to better itself with people like you in charge?" Even as he said it, he knew that wasn't what he thought at all. Cid was a great leader. Because of his worldwide Gardens, Earth had advanced more than people once thought possible. With the era of peace, the borders between all countries had once again opened and Esthar gladly shared its infinite technological knowledge with scientist throughout the globe.  
  
"Squall" he stepped away from the door, giving him an escape route knowing he wouldn't be a coward and run. As expected, he stood his ground. "We've had this discussion before. And I know you care for her, but you must understand that I want no one to repeat my mistakes. You could both live in isolation for the rest of your lives until someone finally discovers you or until Rinoa gets a will of her own and realizes she wants more out of life and she'll begin to use her powers to stop anyone who gets in her way." Squall opened his mouth to counter but Cid kept on talking. "You said that you'd stay with her too the end.you would kill for her if she was in danger but would you be able to kill innocent people just because she asked? You think you'd actually be happy if you went around destroying the world with her!? I don't know about you, but that was one thing I couldn't bring my self to do no matter how much I loved my wife.the thing is." he took a deep shaky breath, his emotion in this conversation was obvious "By the time she was suggesting this evil, it was no longer my wife. It was a creature from the underworld. I saw it grow in her gradually, until I couldn't see Edea anymore, only evil and hate and a chilling lust for power that over threw her body. I know this will happen to Rinoa eventually, Carraway obviously predicts it to happen soon, the whole world is anxiously keeping on their toes awaiting another war. If EVERYONE sees it why can't you try to think reasonably for one second and see it yourself? Ignorance will only keep you happy for so long."  
  
*Breathe.Just Breathe* Squall had to remind himself. He didn't know how long he stood there taking it all in. He wasn't sure what he wanted, or what was best. For this moment on he wasn't sure of anything anymore.  
  
Cid had many qualities.and none of them were along the lines of betrayal or mind distortion.  
  
And Squall knew he was right.  
  
He was always right.and he hated him for it.  
  
Though, inside, his heart was clenching painfully and it took all his concentration simply to remember to fill his lungs with air, Squall gave into reason. And said what his mind was screaming at him to say. His heart was too pained to have an opinion.  
  
"I understand" his face held no sign that this conversation had affected him in any way whatsoever. His features were unwavering and solid. "What do you want me to do?"  
  
Cid, through all his pains, somehow smiled.  
  
There was still hope.  
  
~*~  
  
Quistis had only realized a minute after Seifer had pulled her out of the room that maybe going with him was not such a good idea after all. This man was tried and convicted of treason and murder. Why would he come here of all places once he got out? Was his sentence shortened? Or did he escape?  
  
Garden was the lions den.why go through all the trouble unless it was to inflict some horrible, gruesome revenge on every one of the rank 'A' SeeD members who had robbed him of his romantic dream and turned it into nothing more than a children's fantasy? He must have been pretty pissed after Ultimecia was defeated. He would either hold her ransom for some insane price, or kidnapped them all one by one so that he could torture them to death all together.  
  
Quistis shuddered at the thought, but if Seifer noticed he didn't show it. She had quickly grown too tired of running and he now held her by the shoulders from behind. Strangely though, he was not heading in the direction for escape. Once they arrived at the intersection he turned left toward the elevators, instead of right towards the front gate.  
  
*Maybe he's going to throw me off one of the second floor balconies* she guessed, daring to glance back over her shoulder to see his face. He didn't look at her as he reached over and swiped an 'all access' SeeD card through the keypad and punched in the code to bring the elevator to the 4rd floor.  
  
He was taller than she remembered, broader too. Then again it may just be the fact that she had never been this close to him before. In a military academy, teachers didn't exactly hug their students after class. He was also pretty well dressed for an escaped convict. The navy blue SeeD officer uniform he wore was pressed and fit him well. He was clean-shaven and his hair, though a little longer than his old buzz cut, was clean and smelled distinctly like oranges as he leaned over.  
  
"Wow" she couldn't help but think as she stared at him both shocked and amazed. He cleaned up well, VERY well in fact. And for a moment she forgot that he was impersonating a member of security in order to kidnap her. She was so lost in surprise and drunkenness that she hadn't realized her exclamation was said out loud.  
  
"I'm glad you approve instructor." He said slyly "you're not too bad yourself." He gave her one of his infamous grins that made her feel weak in the knees.*I'm just scared* she coaxed herself to explain her body's natural reaction to his smile. And yet, deep down, for some reason she wasn't afraid at all. He held her firmly, but not enough to prove aggressiveness. And he hasn't said or done anything to imply dishonorable intentions. But that just begged the question: what was he going to do to her, if he was being so gentle now?  
  
Before her slowed mind could come up with the words, the bell sounded stating their arrival to the restricted high-ranking SeeD dorms. How did he get up here? Where did he get that card? Where did he get the code?  
  
Carefully, so as to make sure she didn't stumble and fall, Seifer led her down the hall with one arm around he waist for support and the other one handedly typing into a small handheld computer.  
  
"Trepe, Quistis" he said to the machine, and it automatically responded *436*. Her room number she realized. How did he get a directory? That information was securely restricted to SeeDs only.  
  
This time, she couldn't help but ask even if she was scared to death. "How did you get that? You shhhouldn't have that!" she pointed at the small computer that held all the information on every student and administrator in Balamb Garden. It would be a dangerous tool if it ever got into the wrong hands. For student listing weren't public knowledge for safety reasons. If a team of SeeDs defeated a terrorist group, Cid didn't want to make it that easy for revenge on family members or other such cruel things.  
  
"It was a birthday present" was Seifer's simply reply. He always did have an annoying habit of answering questions, no matter how serious, with the first stupid response that came to mind. She remembered all too well correcting his tests.some of his answers were the funniest things she had every read in her life. They were honest. He didn't memorize from textbooks like Squall and many other great students had. He had given his opinion on even the most straightforward definitions.  
  
*Question #3  
  
Name and Define every training center monster you have encountered in today's exercise:  
  
Grat: Weed looking plant thing that puts me to sleep from both it gas and from fighting it.  
  
and  
  
T-Rexaur: a HUGE (literally) pain in the ass.  
  
Ps: Balamb Garden isn't too big on variety is it?*  
  
Quistis laughed to her self while remembering this, forgetting for a second what danger she was in. One things for sure, there was never a dull moment when she taught Seifer. Back in the days when she actually enjoyed teaching.  
  
Before she knew it, they had arrived at her room, and just as quickly her apprehension returned. She suddenly grew limp as he used his all access card to open the door and then, with the last ounce of strength she had, Quistis tried to run for it.  
  
As expected, he was much too fast for her, and she didn't move five steps when she felt him grab her from behind and easily lift her up in his arm. She tried to flail, to bite, to scream, anything to get help fast. But she knew it was no use. She was tired, and everybody was still at the ball. No one was even on this floor at this time.  
  
It was hopeless to resist.  
  
"This'll be much easier if you cooperate" Seifer whispered in her ear, as he carried her into the room and kicked the door closed behind him.  
  
~*~  
  
*Author's Note* I'm tired.and this chapter I just realized has no flow since I wrote it over the period of two weeks randomly adding bits here and there. I have no school today, and this also happens to be the day my dad decides to start construction on the house at 7 in the morning! UG! Note to self: either kill my father or move out. (*sigh*) anyway, I'm pretty sure this chapter was as tedious for me as it was for you. FINALLY I get to write the good stuff that I've been dying to get to since I started this fic! Stayed tuned for next chapter! Cause here's where things get interesting.  
  
Ps: I'm contemplating putting a "soft core" lemon scene (Squinoa of course). I dunno though. Tell me what you think? Would it ruin the fics 'innocence' or give it the 'spice' it lacks? I'm basing my decision on reviews so, and this goes without saying, REVIEW! 


	12. the 6th Sense

(*Author's Notes* I have a long weekend this week and due to the fact that I am no longer going on ski trip with the rest of my friends because (DIE MR. HAMMETT BASTARD DIEE!!! ) *cough* my kind, fair teacher thinks I'm not responsible enough and therefore I have a lot of time on my hands. So what better way to spend it than update! Dun Dun DUUN!! This is my fluffy chapter SQUINOA all the way man! Just don't blame me if it's complete crap cause I'm have a habit of taking out my frustration in my writing.but a little dose of Squall and I should be fine (.enjoy!)  
  
NOTE: This chapter contains citron-ish (as in lemon/lime-y) material. So those who are freaked out bout that stuff, just skip this and I'll fill you in later. Don't worry though, since it is I writing you'll most likely just find it funny.  
  
~*Chapter 12*~  
  
The 6th Sense  
  
*I can resist everything except temptation.*  
  
What had, not even ten minutes ago, once been an elegant and sophisticated dinner party could now be defined as nothing less then chaos and Selphie watched in horror as the distinguished guests quickly fled from the scene and the students took control. She almost felt like crying the second she stepped out of the bathroom to join the ceremony, and saw that all her hard work being, literally, torn to pieces. Thank Hyne Irvine had seen her entrance and rushed to support her all the way to the lounge area before she clasped.  
  
All that planning and organizing.all for nothing. It was enough to break her heart.  
  
The blue silk drapes were being dragged on the floor or used as hammocks. The exotic food she had ordered from every corner of the world was now either being used in some sport or was already trampled and spread across the marble floor that she had worked so hard clean properly. And the decorations.she didn't even want to think of those right now.  
  
With a sigh she blissfully shut out the gruesome scene by closing her eyes and leaning her head on Irvine's shoulder.  
  
"It's okay Seffie." he whispered in her ear, hugging her tightly with one arm around her shoulder. "It was a beautiful party. And the kids are having fun! Isn't that what you wanted? Everybody to enjoy themselves?"  
  
She didn't answer him. She was too busy reveling in the sweet scent of his cologne. She loved being this close to him, even though she'd die before admitting that to anyone, least of all him. Sure she was upset about the horrible failure of her first anniversary ball, but the hurt and anger had quickly subsided once she saw how much fun everyone was having, even at the her expense. That was her main goal after all, to ensure that the uptight residents of Garden had a chance to let loose for once. It was good for their mental health since the complicated schedules of classes and missions and curfews allowed so little time for having actual fun.  
  
Once she thought about it, this in fact WAS the most successful party Garden ever held. With that conclusion in mind, she shifted her head on Irvine's shoulder and slowly opened her eyes to look at him. He looked concerned, obviously frightened by Selphie's silence. Selphie was NEVER silent, and she was now disturbing him.  
  
"I'm alright." she insisted and reassured him by smiling. Being the ever growing optimist, she glanced around the room once more and instead of seeing everything wrong with the scene (namely the game of trying to knock the vases down by throwing plates at the wall) her smiled widened as she noticed that every single occupant had a huge grin on their faces, from whatever they were doing, and were, for once, living their lives.  
  
"I suppose this is what I get for drinking too much." She giggled and stood up carefully, pulling him with her and dragging him by the hand to the center of the room where, though the orchestra had run away, someone had set out a stereo system blasting music to their own taste. "May I have the honor of a dance?" she asked timidly while wrapping her arms around his neck.  
  
Irvine smiled widely, suddenly reassured that she was not as broken up as he had thought and she was determined to have a good time in no matter what environment. "I would be honored my lady." He gave a small bow within the limited space her embrace allowed, and slowly laced his arms around her small frame, hooking his fingers behind her back. But before they even begun to dance, Selphie suddenly hesitated, her enthusiastic expression flickered and went out as she hurriedly scanned the ballroom with a mild sense of anxiety.  
  
He was about to ask what was wrong, but the answer presented itself as the word "Rinoa." slipped off her tongue. Of course she wouldn't dare enjoy herself unless she knew her friends were comfortable .it was one of the many things he admired her for.  
  
"Don't worry" Irvine answered her, bringing her attention away from the party and back to him. "She didn't leave Garden. She went to the fourth floor.to visit Squall. Not that I'm implying anything." He grinned knowingly and Selphie, laughing, playfully slapped him on the back of the head in mock anger.  
  
"You're sick Kinneas!" she exclaimed, but his words still didn't completely alleviate her concern for her friend.  
  
Upstairs with Squall? That didn't make sense. She didn't have a keycard. And she had to have to done something illegal to get up there. Was she really that fixed on the bet with Quistis that she'd sacrifice her dignity just to win? What had inspired such action?  
  
"I missed something didn't I?"  
  
Irvine nodded. "And you didn't wonder why, in the ten minutes you were missing, this so-called 'anniversary ball' had become a zoo?"  
  
"You obviously know something I don't.do tell."  
  
"Let's just say our Commander caused quite a scene, as un-believable as that may be."  
  
"HE SHOWED UP!" she yelped in surprise, a little louder than intended, attracting a few stares from other dancing couples nearby. Realizing how stupid they looked, standing in the middle of the dance floor simply having a conversation, Selphie re-positioned her arms around his neck and initiated the first step into the dance, with no intention of letting the conversation slip. "Tell me everything," she ordered as they moved together flawlessly across the floor, never missing a step, almost reading each other's minds as to what was to happen next.  
  
"Well," Irvine sighed and glanced quickly exit where Rinoa had left. "It's a long, funny story."  
  
~*~  
  
Rinoa paced around the room nervously, glancing at the bedside alarm clock every two seconds or so to remind her self that time, was indeed, moving. She had been in the room no more than two minutes, even though nearly an hour had passed since Squall left to talk to the headmaster. It had taken that long to convince herself to get as far as his dorm.  
  
The first step had be to get out of the ballroom, and that was easy enough since she would had to have been suicidal to want to stay in the ever growing throng of students who were becoming more and more rambunctious with every passing second. From there she went straight to the bathroom to fix herself up.  
  
Then came the inevitable doubt, the compulsory fear, the obligatory nervousness, and the expected nausea from a little too much champagne. It took a while to force herself to move from the small cubic room.  
  
Then came the challenge of whether or not to use the elevator with the technically 'illegal' key card. What a grueling battle of conscience that was.  
  
And yet, in the end, she finally ended up here. As she knew she would eventually.  
  
Carefully, she lowered herself onto the bed, almost as if she were afraid it would come to life and bite her. She knew she was being paranoid, but that did nothing to ease her discomfort.  
  
*This isn't so bad* she tried to convince herself, yet she still sat on edge, preparing to spring up at the slightest hint of noise. But it was deadly quiet on the forbidden fourth floor. Everyone was still downstairs enjoying the party after all, and she was alone here.they would be completely alone.  
  
She shuddered at the thought, both in excitement and absolute fear. To occupy her mind away from certain subjects, she ran her hands along the soft cotton comforter of his bed, smoothing the lines her sitting created and memorizing the feel of it, imagining Squall doing the same thing when he woke up, not that he slept much with all the work being the most popular Garden's Commander entailed. She knew for a fact that he spent minimal time in this room. Sometimes he even fell asleep at his desk downstairs.  
  
The room was plain, as Squall liked it, and much like the student dorms in fact only more spacious and with a personal bathroom (students had to share with roommates). To her surprise though, it was less neat than she expected. Though he had bothered to make his bed before he left, the rest of the room was a complete mess.  
  
His desk and dresser draws were open and emptied of their contents into several opened, half-packed bags strewn across the floor containing everything from clothing to basic survival gear.and a lot of it. Probably just hasty preparations for a mission. A long mission apparently. Yet she couldn't help but wonder about the mess.  
  
Even in his office, where he was bombarded with a million documents and memos every day, he always managed to keep it painfully organized. File drawers were labeled based on subject and listed alphabetically. His computer was programmed to analyze incoming messages and display them in order of importance. Even his office supplies had some insane order to where they were placed in his desk. If he was so anal about keeping things orderly, why was his most personal space so disorderly?  
  
It was probably just a mission.but he just resigned from commander. Was he being relegated to just a normal SeeD again? What was he planning?  
  
She shook her head to clear it and returned to her blissfully simple task of smoothing his sheets. It was a bad idea to think too much. Thinking led to doubt, which led to reason, which led to actions that she would later regret. She had worked so hard to get a chance like this with Squall, if only to talk alone without the fear of eavesdroppers or discovery. Peace was all she wanted. And now that she had it, it was accompanied by uneasiness and a distinct sense of guilt.  
  
Poor Cid.  
  
Squall was the best commander there ever was and there was no doubt in her mind of how much Garden would suffer economically without his skill. Maybe this was mistake. Maybe, no matter how much she wanted him by her side, Garden (and the world in general) NEEDED him.  
  
*I should leave* she thought, standing up and pulling the strap of her purse over her shoulder. *I'm being selfish. And I already made plans to become a doctor.I shouldn't be here. I should.*  
  
But all contemplation ceased as the sound of footsteps in the corridor could be heard. She sat back down on the bed, her legs unable to hold her weight as delirium spread through her brain. It seemed to take forever until the soft thudding steps finally halted outside the room, and yet, all too soon, the door opened with the swipe of a keycard.  
  
And there he stood on the threshold; the man she had been waiting for.  
  
Closing the door behind him, Squall cautiously entered the room, his expression un-readable to her but one thing was for sure, his thoughts revolved around the woman now sitting in front of him, looking too innocent for anything said about her to be true.  
  
Rinoa felt small, almost childish beneath his steely gaze. And, as usual, any doubts she had were erased forever the moment she saw his face. And the familiar heat within her heart rose.  
  
She wanted this.she was ready.  
  
"Squall..." she could only find the ability to control her vocal cords long enough to mutter his name. By then she no longer cared what happened in the future. As long as they had tonight. She needed tonight.  
  
In a few careful steps, Rinoa somehow re-gained control of her body in order to be able to stand up from the bed and rush into his arms. He accepted her eagerly, clinging to her like a child, his head resting in the crook of her neck and his arms wrapped around her with dire urgency.  
  
"I love you.so much." He whispered, so softly that if it weren't for the extreme silence she would have missed the words. Yet, no matter how many times he told her, she never grew tired of hearing it.  
  
"I know." She moved away from him and carefully took his face in her hands, staring into those beautiful azure eyes of his that so easily influenced her. She saw sadness in those eyes. Or something greater that did not yet have a word to describe its meaning. It was a mixture of several emotions that he seemed to project towards her, exposing his feelings to share. It was a foreign experience, both disturbing and beautiful.  
  
She felt his desperation.his agony.his love, but most of all. Rinoa sensed failure in him. These feelings of his scared her and, with the hope of cleansing his mind of such depressing speculation, she gingerly moved her hands behind his neck and, ever so gently, pressed her lips to his.  
  
At first, he didn't respond, but simply stood there reveling in the moment while his thoughts battled fiercely over which course of action he should follow. It wasn't before long though that, like she, he decided to just go what 'feels' right.  
  
With a passion that Rinoa once thought impossible in Squall, he returned her kiss with fervor, tightening his grip around her and literally lifting her off her feet. The sorceress had no time to be shocked at his aggressiveness for he was already gently inching forwards toward the bed, his fingers idly fiddling with the zipper at the back of her dress. And yet he worked painfully slowly. She could sense the conflict within him of what to do, or whether this was what she wanted at all.  
  
Her hands to began exploring, except she had always been more hasty than Squall, and as he was still contemplating her dress zipper, she had already found and undone all the buckles and buttons of his SeeD dress uniform jacket and hastily threw it somewhere within the piles of stuff that littered Squall's floor. He still had on the standard gray t-shirt that was to be wore underneath, but it was much thinner and as she pressed herself against him, she was finally able to feel those well-toned chest muscles that she had been day dreaming about since she had met him, without the barrier of thick fabric. Unable to wait much longer (hell after a year, any girl would go crazy) Rinoa, all shyness aside, slipped her hands underneath his shirt and literally ripped it off his body, leaving only his griever necklace shining in the twilight. The fabric was poorly stitched and weak so it had been easy enough. Besides, she had always wanted to do that.  
  
If he had noticed, Squall made no sign of it, but just held her more tightly, yet still he made no move with the dress. His kisses only deepened and grew more urgent.  
  
They had long since reached the bedside, and yet, the moment her cold hands touched his bare chest for the first time, he suddenly paused, his kissing stopped abruptly and he pulled away, shaking his head as if talking to himself.  
  
"What is it?" Rinoa asked sheepishly, trying to sound calm, though her voice came out in pants after holding her breath for so long "what's wrong?" She couldn't help but feel a little irritated that not only was he obviously keeping some grueling mental decision to himself, but after so long of planning and waiting for him, he now obviously decided to wait some more.  
  
"I can't do this." He said after a while as he sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands, doing some practical breathing exercises that she had taught him to do when he became distressed. "I.I just can't bring myself to."  
  
At first Rinoa had no idea what he meant, but then her eyes widened in realization. "Oohhh." she exclaimed, kneeling down on the floor in front of him. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that you.uh.couldn't." *It must be a medical thing* she guessed. That would explain a lot.  
  
"What?" he peered over his hands to look at her, and quickly realized what she meant when seeing her pitying expression. "Oh no! I CAN.that was never an issue with you" he corrected hastily, and she laughed at his discomfort, finding it funny that he was more embarrassed about her mistake then she was.but that only begged the question:  
  
"What is it then?"  
  
Squall shook his head and tried to look everywhere else except in her eyes where he knew her gaze would somehow break him down. So he hurriedly formulated an excuse for his actions (or lack there of) that was ironically more plausible than the truth.  
  
"I.I didn't want it to happen like this I guess. Circumstances are a still little confusing for me now as you may imagine."  
  
"Because of your resignation?" she was trying to be serious about the situation, but it was obvious how suspenseful she was by the way she shuffled from one foot to the other and her eyes couldn't help but constantly flicker to the parts of him that were exposed.  
  
"That of course.and other things." He couldn't help but smile at her. That was one of her many gifts. Every little thing she did, in no matter how depressing a situation, always made him feels as though it was all going to be all right. "You know I love you right?"  
  
Rinoa smiled widely, even though she was a little disheartened that he had pronounced himself 'not yet ready' to bring their relationship to the next level, she had forgotten how passionate a few words were as well. "I know.and I love you too" She lifted her hands to his face and casually ran her fingers through his soft brown hair down to his cheek. Squall caught that hand in his own and placed a soft kiss in her palm, basking in the glory of her touch. He closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of utter relaxation that surrounded him when is such close proximity to Rinoa.  
  
He wanted her. Hyne knows how long they had waited. But it was wrong. It would be morally unjust of him to succumb to his desires only a few hours before.  
  
He didn't want to think of what was to happen in so short a time. So, in the hope of gathering the reassurance he needed, Squall made the mistake of chancing a glance at Rinoa. She was beautiful, the most beautiful woman in the entire world in his opinion, and so innocent looking, despite her reddened lips and seductive stare.  
  
*This is wrong* he kept telling himself. Yet the more he looked at her, the more his words seemed irrelevant.  
  
It was wrong, indecent, immoral and downright horrible! He couldn't give in to her. To lust! He wouldn't!  
  
.  
  
*Who am I kidding*  
  
Maybe, giving in to his heart just this once would be okay. This was possibly the last hours they'd have together and, no matter how much he felt like just hiding away in a corner until everything was over with, he knew he would regret it for the rest of his life. These precious last moments should be cherished.  
  
And he then let go of all his 'duties' and 'responsibilities' and the million other reasons he had for walking out right now. He wanted to live. To show her how much she meant to him...before he said goodbye.  
  
Rinoa understood that Squall needed time before they actually moved on to a sexual level, but that didn't stop her from wanting to do more. Slowly, so as not to alarm him by her movements, she rose from the floor and coyly sat next to him, one hand still placed on his cheek and the other positioned cautiously on his thigh, not to scare him off but to reassure him that the option was still there.  
  
How coincidental was it that moment she had given up, Squall unexpectedly, from unknown inspiration, decided to resume their expedition. No sooner had she looked into his eyes that his hungry mouth was on hers again. His hands tangled themselves in her hair as he pulled her closer, leaving no doubt in her mind that there would be no mental block to stop him this time. He moved onto her neck, nipping, biting and tasting her flesh and she gasped at the sensation, yet remained curious as to his change of heart  
  
"Squall.didn't...didn't you want to" she took in a sharp breath when his fingers found the zipper and quickly pulled it down. "Weren't we going to wait?" Not that she minded.his assertiveness, though exciting, was just kinda random considering his hesitation moments ago.  
  
He didn't stop to make a definite response, just continued his slow, exploratory kisses in the new region he had uncovered. Carefully he pushed her into a lying position and silently began removing her dress, leaving a trail of kisses along her collarbone and above the swell of her breasts from her bra. She had practically forgot the question by the time he answered.  
  
"I've just realized." he responded at last, making soft patterns with his fingers around her hips "life's too short." She rolled her eyes from underneath him, but kept a smile on her face.  
  
"And you only realized that now? I've been trying to tell you that for years!"  
  
He laughed heartily (no pun intended) "I know, and as usual you were right. I just always wanted this moment to be perfect you know? Like a fairy tale."  
  
"I don't know what material you read as a child Squall, but I don't recall any fairy tales with a sex scene."  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
"Like in a beautiful forest with all the cute little animals gathered around watching?" He sighed at her inability to keep things serious at a time like this, even though her giggling at the most inopportune instances was another one of her strange habits that he found fascinating. But he would never admit that, so he simply continued his exasperated glaring. "I'm sorry!" she insisted, wanting him to finish but the image of 'Squall's fairy tale' kept drifting into her mind and it was hard to keep a straight face. "Go on, please."  
  
"The point is." he continued, finding it difficult not to grin himself "It just occurred to me that the 'perfect' circumstance will most likely never materialize. Hell, as you pointed out, there is no 'fairy tale' setting for this. It's only you I need. It is having you, the person I love most in all the world, here in my arms that makes this moment impeccable."  
  
She understood what he meant perfectly. How long ago had they decided that they were ready for this? It seemed ages. And since then she had thought of a hundred scenarios of when and where and they were all beautiful and romantic. Like on a secluded beach somewhere exotic. Or the flower fields near Edea's orphanage where they had made their promise. But, as time passed (A LOT of time in their case) she came to realize that the setting was irrelevant. She loved Squall and he loved her. That was all that mattered in the long run, that they be together as one.  
  
"I want to be with you forever Rinoa." He told her quietly, while tracing the outline of her lips with the pad of his thumb. "I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone. Then I met you and I began imagining all sorts of strange things about us."  
  
She giggled at this. Squall so rarely said anything of a romantic nature that she couldn't help but find it amusing every time he brought it up. "Like what?"  
  
He sighed and lay down beside her, resting his head on a propped up elbow. "You'll laugh at me."  
  
"Ug.come on! You can't bring something like that up and then not tell me!" she poked him in a certain spot in the ribs that he had once stupidly let slip was his Achilles' heel, making him cry out in exaggerated pain.  
  
"Ow! Fine fine! Gees you're violent." He lay silent for a while, trying to come up with the words that describe what he has envisioned for them in the future.  
  
"Well." she prodded, her finger hovering threateningly in the air.  
  
"I thought we'd get married someday." He responded instantly.  
  
Rinoa's eyes widened in amused shock, yet a small smile played on her lips. "You? THE Squall Leonhart was actually thinking of getting married?"  
  
"You think that's bad? There's more. I saw a house for us in Winhill with a pet moomba!" he laughed to himself, some inside joke apparently, and she too joined in nervously.  
  
Married to Squall with a pet moomba in Winhill? She was delighted by the very idea of eloping, but she couldn't help but be discouraged when brooding on what the future would hold for her. Pondering the hereafter led to outrageous fantasies of several life long scenarios that she could never truly experience. She had always imagined an existence with a loving husband, and a comfortable home in a small town.filled with children she could never have.  
  
She hoped he didn't notice the way she involuntarily touched her stomach, or the tear that somehow escaped from the corner of her eye. She wiped it away quickly and he gave no hint that he had seen it, but that did nothing to alleviate the pain her infertility caused her. There were other options of course. And it would be a long while indeed she would even begin to consider children, but it was always nice to know that you could bear your own.  
  
Not wanting to ponder a dead end subject that always brought her to the same sickening realization of truth, she turned her attentions back to Squall. It was in moments like these that she felt she needed him the most. When she feared being alone forever because of her abnormality, she was always reassured by being in his presence.  
  
Turning towards him, Rinoa shuffled closer and kissed him fervently, desperately almost, pulling him closer to her, in dire need of reassurance that he was indeed real, and that she would never be completely alone.  
  
"Make love to me." she asked meekly, brushing a few strands of sandy brown hair behind his ear so that she could clearly see his eyes and the pure passion radiated from them. His response was only another heated kiss, clearing her mind of their past and their future and focusing all her energy on now.  
  
She moved away only long enough to kick the rest of her dress to the floor, then pulled him down on top of her, loving the feeling of him pressed against her, his weight like that of a favorite blanket. It wasn't long before the rest of their clothing made contact with the floor. No words needed to be spoken, words would only ruin such a moment.  
  
Yet he didn't enter her yet. He continued kissing and exploring. Going over every inch of her skin with her fingers and his tongue, as if wanting to memorize her body with every sense he possessed.  
  
He touched her with his hands; callused yet soft and gentle.  
  
He tasted her with his tongue; slick and sensual.  
  
He listened to her moans with his ears; recording her pleasure in his memory.  
  
He saw her with his eyes; her beautiful body his for the taking in all its glory.  
  
He smelled her skin and the lingering vanilla perfume she applied before the ball.  
  
But most of all, like a 6th sense, he was aware of her. He felt her presence in his head and his heart. And as she touched him, conducting the same careful experiments as he, the feeling only grew. It was a culmination of all five senses in a mixture of one. It was how he felt about her, and it was amazing. Nothing about this feeling could be impure. Even if they were to be separated, being with her now was right. These strange yet prodigious feelings were right.  
  
Making love to her tonight was right.  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked, the standard question for a couple's first time once they had reached the point where neither of them could wait any longer. Rinoa had already climaxed once during their foreplay and she was close to a second time. He could tell by the way she breathed, or how she didn't breathe in fact. Just took large, gasping gulps of air every 30 seconds or so and she never looked so beautiful. Her entire body shined with sweat and reflected the moonlight coming in through the window, the once elegant up do of curls had un-pinned itself and lay fanned against his pillow, the black strands in deep contrast to the white sheets, and her brown eyes were dark and hooded with passion.  
  
Through her distracted daze, Rinoa somehow got control of herself long enough to nod in response to Squall's question as she took a deep breath and positioned her self more comfortably underneath him, preparing for the familiar pain. Squall knew this wasn't her fist time. She had told him about her relationship with Seifer long before they were even a couple. Back then she had been so young and naïve and figured that sex was the payment a girl had to give in exchange for having such a handsome boyfriend. Not that Seifer had been bad, by all means no. But the whole experience of discovering sensuality could never be fully analyzed unless the partners were deeply in love and could therefore completely focus on each other. Making love, which had once been a chore, was now miraculously an art.an art that she looked forward to practicing with him for the rest of their lives.  
  
Squall leaned his forehead against her, closing his eyes to compose himself as Rinoa kissed him deeply, their tongues dancing feverishly with each other, heads angled perpendicularly for maximum penetration.  
  
He slowly entered her, while keeping their kiss passionate to distract her from any pain she may be feeling. But she felt none. She felt perfect. It was as if they were literally made for each other, like a key and a lock. Before he even started moving she felt him hit certain spots that forced her back to arch and her mouth to hang open in a silent scream.  
  
"Are you okay?" He stuttered, still concerned about her comfort although the sweat beading on his forehead told her in was becoming difficult to just stay still.  
  
"I'm fine" she insisted, her voice throaty and alien in her own ears. "Please, go on." And so he did, at first hesitantly and teasingly slowly in order to both work up a gradual rhythm and to keep calm his paranoia of causing her pain. She felt nothing short of heavenly as his movements gradually pulled her towards something greater, something she had never felt before. With a little encouragement from his lover, Squall picked up the pace. Moving to an unheard beat in his and her head that dictated what they wanted and how they could achieve it together.  
  
It didn't take long for them both to start feeling the pressure, that exotic stress that sped up their heart beats and turned their heavy breathing to desperate pants. Rinoa in particular had trouble keeping quiet. Every once in a while, she would let out a small scream or moan that would echo in the otherwise silent room and as she got closer she only got louder. Luckily, Squall knew that no one else would be on this floor so relatively early after the party started and her noise, proving she was enjoying herself as much as he was, was strangely intoxicating.  
  
He kissed her again, knowing that any second now she would reach her peak, and he wanted to be as close to her as possible when she did. Rinoa wrapped her arms around him and took the chance to feel the hard muscles of his back as they flexed and stiffened with each movement. She began to tremble, her nails dug painfully into his shoulder and he could feel her contract pleasurably around him making him almost loose it.  
  
She pulled away from his mouth in order to fill her lungs with the much- needed gulps of air. Squall let her breathe for a while before, with a few last powerful thrusts, she climaxed with a short scream. The clenching of her inner walls made it impossible for him to hold out any longer, and he too, not five seconds after her, clasped in utter exhaustion as he emptied himself into her.  
  
They remained silent for a few minutes, if only to gather their wits about them and fight off to bitter fatigue threatening to put them too sleep immediately. But not yet, he couldn't give in yet. Relieving her of his weight, Squall moved to the un-occupied side of the bed and pulled her into a gentle hug from behind. She snuggled into his embrace with a contented sigh.  
  
The room was an even greater wreak than before. Their clothes were strewn around the already messy floor, somehow a lamp had been knocked over and lay shattered on the bedside bureau, the sheets were damp with sweat, tangled awkwardly around their bodies and there, in the middle of it, lay Squall and Rinoa, looking as if they had just run a marathon. The scene wasn't exactly something found in a fairy tale.but it was, more or less, perfect.  
  
"I love you Squall." she whispered into the air right before she forced a mighty yawn. She felt him gently kiss her shoulder in response, and then begin to stroke her hair lightly, lulling her into the first truly agreeable sleep she had in ages. In no more than two minutes, completely spent and satisfied, she was snoring lightly.  
  
~*~  
  
He felt her fall asleep before he heard her. The 6th sense still lingered inside and her feelings were duplicated within him. Ever so prudently, he got up from the bed, careful not to cause any bounce or noise that would disturb her. Finding his pants in the dark, he quickly pulled them on, along with a v-neck white t-shirt and a pair of combat boots.  
  
Once dressed, he reached into his pocket and delicately pulled out a blue linen napkin. Meticulously, as if afraid its contents would try to run, he unfolded the thick fabric to reveal a syringe filled with a suspicious yellow liquid. He held it up to the light, pushing to end to make sure it worked and then approached the sleeping girl on the bed.  
  
Nothing had gone on like he had planned tonight. He hadn't meant to give into her like that. Cid was right, it was astonishing how much power she had over him, Squall Leonhart; the man proclaimed worldwide to be immovable and heartless. She could change that. He would do anything if she asked. ANYTHING. And that was the danger.  
  
He had to end it.now.  
  
His hand positioned itself above her exposed shoulder, hovering above it and determining the exact spot where the drug would enter the bloodstream quickly, so that she would be under the influence before she even noticed the prick of the needle. He didn't want her to know it was he that sentenced her to a life in exile. If anyone had to do it, it was better for it to be him, but she couldn't know that. It would break her, and it would kill him.  
  
His hand continued to hover above her shoulder, the point of the syringe steady and mere millimeters from her flesh. All he had to do was press down. Then it would be all over.  
  
Just press down.  
  
It's not so hard.  
  
It's for the good of the world.  
  
Just press down Squall.  
  
DO IT!  
  
His hand began to shake with effort and beads of sweat began to form on his forehead. The opportunity was there. He was seconds away from achieving his goal. And yet, no matter how hard he tried.  
  
He couldn't do it.  
  
He was in no state to even attempt this so soon after they had just shared something so phenomenal. He still loved her after all. So much in fact that it physically hurt him to even think of causing her harm.  
  
He re-folded the linen napkin containing the syringe and roughly shoved it back in his pocket. He needed to think about this. He needed to get away from the confusion that her very presence influenced in his mind. This was too much at once. He shouldn't have slept with her. It was stupid to think that expressing their love physically would make it easier to let go afterwards. It was, if possible, even more difficult now.  
  
Grabbing his lionheart from its case and his leather jacket from a hook, he headed out the door, not daring to look back at his sleeping angel. The training center was the one place he knew that had cured his frustration on several occasions during his life here at Garden, and though he doubted it would solve his dilemma this time around, it would at least distract him until the last possible moment when he would be forced to make a decision.  
  
Sunrise.  
  
~*~  
  
*Author's Notes* Woah, that was weird. This was officially the most difficult chapter to write EVER! Difficult yet fun cause I got to write Squinoa 'fluff' (if fluff is what they call that nowadays). Hehe. Moving onto the thank yous!  
  
Vick330: For being my un-official editor who doesn't hold back when giving me constructive criticism and is willing to tell me if my ideas are stupid! (Which most of them are)  
  
Laguna-chan: for being my psycho yet greatly appreciated long ass review writer. Lol.I don't blame you if you get too tired eventually and start writing two sentences.  
  
Optical Goddess: I love when an author on my favorite's list reviews me. I greatly enjoy you're stories and I hope you FINALY post a new one! I'm dying here!  
  
The Angel of the Lion: As you know, I enjoy getting people's opinions on what I write. And I thank you for that.  
  
Vanessa143: I CRIED IN BRAVE HEART TOO! Lol.so random but it's true. I don't cry in many things strangely but that one really got me going. I guess its cause I'm ¼ Scottish. *shrug*  
  
Anyway, that's about it. Feel free to make fun of me (good humored fun cause I ignore flames, delete them, and harass the writers until they go crazy). Any guesses as to what happened in future chapters? Don't be shy cause I have my straight forward plot finished but I like to incorporate some reader's theories as well. I give you full credit too if I choose your idea. Happy reviewing! 


	13. Like Father, Like Son

**AUTHOR'S NOTES** So I'm back! Tis my last day of Spring Break and I felt like doing something fun and productive for once. I may not be able to update for a while after this one since it's my last two months of high school (PRAISE HYNE!!) and thus, crazy amount of work. Especially since I 'volunteered' (I'm the only one who knows how to edit video) to make the grad video: which is an incredibly long montage of strange things my grade has done over the years including out class president's interpretive dance to 'somewhere over the rainbow'. . .my school is so weird. And if that we're bad enough, I'm directing the school play which goes on at the end of April and my actors are being un-cooperative AND my choir is going to this big ass convention thingy. URG! I expect to be in a mental institute by June.  
  
~*Chapter 13*~  
  
Like Father, Like Son  
  
*Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.* -Dale Carnegie  
  
As Seifer forcefully made her step inside her dorm, Quistis fought to regain some self-control, which was made difficult by her condition and the shock of what was happening to her. Her training took over, and she decided to humor him until she could strike back, or at least find a way to escape. She found it ironic how she had wished to cease to exist, mere minutes ago, and now that she faced possible annihilation, her survivals instincts proved the stronger.  
  
"Well, Seifer," she challenged her captor, but keeping her eyes downcast as to not provoke him, "If it is revenge you want, come and take it, I don't care. I have nothing to lose anymore...'  
  
He gave a derisive chuckle, but remained a few steps away from her. It was in a voice devoid of mockery that he spoke next, his words painful to the woman facing him.  
  
"Yes Instructor, I can see that after the spectacle you made of yourself." He paused and looked her up and down with a smirk that made her desperately want to cover herself in her most revealing dress. But she wouldn't dare show him how uncomfortable he made her feel. That would be a sign of weakness. "I can't believe that with all you have going for you, and you're willing to sacrifice it all on a girly crush."  
  
"Girly crush? How dare you!" She exploded, the tension finding an outlet in anger, "Do your worst, lap-dog, but spare me your lectures!"  
  
An uncomfortable silence hung between them after that exchange, Quistis realized that insulting him wasn't the wisest of tactics, due to present circumstances.  
  
"Even if I wanted revenge, which I don't, not anymore," He said in a controlled tone, "You are already punishing yourself enough, and maybe now you understand what brought on my own demise."  
  
"Huh?" Quistis's brain was slowly dispersing the fogs of drunkenness, and in a moment of clarity she grasped the meaning of his words. They were alike, in their own strange and completely different ways. He had reached for the crazy, yet not impossible, notion of becoming the sorceress' knight. And she, in turn, reached for something equally, if not more, out of reach. "We both longed for something unattainable," she whispered, her eyes fixed on the carpet "for a dream that could only destroy us..."  
  
"More like a nightmare, Quistis," he replied, taking a step towards her and placing his powerful hand on her shoulder, "It is time to wake up now."  
  
His touch was gentle and the cold leather of his uniform gloves soothed her searing skin, which was damp with perspiration. He said he didn't want revenge, and for some strange, unknown reason, she believed him. But that only begged the question:  
  
"Why are you here then? . ." Her fear quickly dissolved into curiosity. If she were her usual self, upon getting the first glimpse of Seifer she would have immediately informed security and demanded a plausible explanation for his presence in Balamb. But now she couldn't help but feel a little giddy at his sudden appearance since she was certain no harm would come to her. "This seems like an awful lot of trouble for you to go through if only to talk to me."  
  
Seifer laughed sarcastically at this and removed his hand from her shoulder while taking a careful step backwards. "Get over yourself instructor." He said stiffly "Believe it or not, the whole universe does not revolve around you."  
  
Quistis prepared for a witty comeback but another wave of nausea suddenly surfaced through her already churning stomach and she was forced to sit down on the floor, her head swimming so badly that the very thought of navigating herself the nearest chair seemed impossible.  
  
"Hmm. . . Now this is where I'm torn." She heard Seifer say somewhere within the twisting image of her living room before her. "I could either leave you here alone in your drunken misery and get back to work, which by all means is the better option, or I could stay here and hold your hair back when you inevitably become horribly sick."  
  
The only response he got was a chain of dry heaving and gagging as his ex- instructor desperately tried to both answer him with some antagonizing comment and prevent herself from throwing up on his nicely polished shoes.  
  
With a sigh and a murmured "your lucky your beautiful", Seifer quickly grabbed Quistis by the shoulders and hastily led her to her bathroom just in time for her to grab the toilet bowl and throw up in it. As promised, he held her hair back for her as she heaved, occasionally rubbing her back in what she supposed he thought was a comforting action. But all his company did was remind her of how stupid and idiotic all her actions tonight were.  
  
When she was finally convinced that their was nothing else left in her stomach to puke, she stayed sprawled across the bathroom floor, too ashamed to lift her face from the bowl to look at him and see that aggravating smirk that she knew was plastered on his smug face.  
  
After a minute or so of silence, she felt someone drape a towel across arm and heard the clink of a glass being settled on the floor beside her. She quickly brought the towel to her mouth and wiped away the remaining chucks of vomit and just as quickly downed the glass of water to soothe the horrible burning in her throat. Only then, once she began to feel semi like herself again, did she gather enough courage to look him in the eye, preparing herself for the compulsory rude comment but now armed with enough brain stability to counter it.  
  
To her surprise though, neither accompanied Seifer's voice or expression when she looked at him. Shockingly, his face held nothing more or less than genuine concern. And the only words to leave his mouth were a soft and compassionate "are you okay?" This she hadn't prepared for, so she simply gaped at him for a few moments, trying desperately to sort out her thoughts and discover the sadistic, selfish reason for his kindness: a word that contradicted the name 'Seifer Almasy'.  
  
"Why?" she asked, not realizing how her question was not as self- explanatory as it was in her head.  
  
"Ah. . .Brilliant line of questioning ms. Trepe. If there's one thing I don't miss about Balamb Garden it's how vague everyone is." He offered her his hand and she gratefully accepted it to lift her off the floor.  
  
"Sorry." she sheepishly averted her gaze to stare at the floor tiles. "What I meant was, why are you being so nice to me?"  
  
"Don't get too excited. I haven't suddenly grown a heart or something equally revolting." Together they had re-entered Quistis' suite and with her newfound balance, she now easily walked to and sat in one of the overstuffed chairs in the living area. Once comfortable, she gave her attention back to Seifer, her gaze urging him to continue. "This is just a job. Extra hired help from Trabia Garden to chaperon this prestigious event. Not as glamorous as sorceress' knight mind you but I'm slowly getting there. Who knows? Maybe someday I can get enough of a steel rod stuck up my ass to be commander."  
  
Quistis laughed at this, the first time she truly laughed since.she couldn't even remember how long it had been. It felt good.  
  
"Well, if you're feeling better ms. Trepe then I should be going. All I need now is for my team leader to notice that I spent an extended amount of time in the dorm room of one of our female clients. Then I'd be in for it." Without waiting for any kind of reaction from her, Seifer quickly turned and headed towards the door with a speed in his strides that suggested urgency in his departure. His discomfort around her was obvious, and his explanation as to why he helped her was more than a little obscure.  
  
He was hired by Trabia Garden? But he was a world-renowned traitor! Last she heard of him, he was still in line to be put on trial for war crimes. It just didn't make sense. And if he were in fact here with some horrible ulterior motive, any destruction he caused would be on her shoulders for she could have stopped him. If he had indeed been picked up by Trabia, which is unlikely, she was certain the Balamb executives would have been the first to hear about it. She had to stall him, if only to check his credentials.  
  
"Wait!" she blurted out desperately when he had almost finished closing the door behind him. He paused, and then carefully poked his head in through the gap.  
  
"As much as I'd like to stay the night ms. Trepe, I fear that if I did you wouldn't let me leave."  
  
Quistis rolled her eyes at this. Typical Seifer, always taking EVERYTHING the wrong way. "I'm not THAT drunk Mr. Almasy and I'm happy to say that I don't think I ever will be."  
  
"In that case, goodnight instructor!" he began to close the door again.  
  
"WAIT!"  
  
She heard a frustrated sigh from the hallway, and once again Seifer came into the room. "You better have something REALLY good to offer me, cause if I'm not back at my post in 2 minutes, I'm in deep. . ."  
  
"I just." she looked around her apartment for something, ANYTHING that would inspire her to think up a brilliant excuse for him staying. She could play the 'helpless, lonely female' card, but from experience with Squall, that wouldn't work on Almasy. She could ask him to fix something. That would work, its not like he knew she was top of her mechanics class and was usually the one OTHER people called to repair their VCRs. That would work. . .  
  
"You don't believe me do you?" Then again, she could always just stay silent like a paranoid freak that is looking for an excuse until the truth reveals itself which, un-intentionally, was exactly what happened.  
  
With a sigh, she gave up and went for a more direct approach to her questioning. "You can't blame me Seifer can you? I mean, your being here is more than a little suspicious."  
  
"I should just close this door and march straight back to where I'm supposed to be, but for some strange reason, I care about what you think." He entered the room again and fished out some sort of laminated I.D from the breast pocket of his jacket.  
  
Straightening himself up and giving her a stiff SeeD salute, Seifer passed her the card. "Seifer Almasy, Trabian cadet, student number 543297. SIR!"  
  
Quistis grabbed the identification out of his hand in one swift movement, shaking her head at his impersonation of a typical SeeD formal introduction. She was surprised he even remembered that, since he had never bothered to once practice the boring military formalities that every student applying for SeeD had to perfect. . .at least he didn't while he had been in her class.  
  
The ID looked real enough. His picture, his REAL name, his birthday, his physical description, his student number, it was all there stamped with the official Trabian seal. If it was a fake, it was a damn good one.  
  
"I requested that my name not be spread in warning to all Gardens while I trained. If I'm going to become a rank 'A' SeeD someday then I can't very well accomplish that with Balamb guards breathing down my neck in case I 'go crazy' again."  
  
"I still don't get it though." She handed him back the I.D. and looked sternly into his eyes, her old teacher instincts looking for fear or treachery. "You were to be tried for several cases of murder. You should have been executed! Not given a offer to become a candidate for SeeD!"  
  
"Good to know you were rooting for me."  
  
"Be reasonable Seifer. I'm not that stupid. This is either one big set up or our justice system is incredibly fucked up."  
  
"Would you believe me if I told you that I had to sleep with half the jury and the Trabian headmaster?"  
  
She raised an eyebrow in disgust. "No." After all the Trabian headmaster was a married man, but then again you never know with some people.  
  
"Then you'd be right, the Trabian headmaster is a MAN after all." His usual smirk was back in place as he pocketed his I.D. and took a deep breath. "Believe it or not, my trial was one of the first to go on, after all I was the worst of everyone in that jail of war criminals."  
  
"I'm glad you're proud that you're responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people, many of whom were fellow SeeDs. . .and friends." Seifer's smirk immediately disappeared after that, and this time it was his turn to stare at the carpet in absolute shame. Serves him right.  
  
"You probably won't believe me, but I never meant to kill anyone."  
  
"HA!"  
  
Knowing that he was running out of time and it would take several hours to convince her otherwise, he simply continued with his story. "My lawyer was surprisingly good, not good enough to ensure my freedom but enough so that I'm here now and not in some pit rotting."  
  
"That's too bad"  
  
"Moving on without further interruptions if you please," he glared at Quistis, and with a soft scowl she turned away, promising her silence. "I was to be put under the surveillance of any Garden for the rest of my life though, a kind of supervised community service. Galbadia being a place full of un-appealing memories and everyone in Balamb wishing me dead, Trabia seemed like the best option. It was newly restored and very few people knew who I was. . ."  
  
"Or that you were the one who ordered the missile attack that forced them to rebuild in the first place."  
  
Seifer sighed exasperatedly "You know I should be heading back now anyway. Nice exchanging insults with you. Hope we can do it again next time!"  
  
Already being close to the door, he yanked it open and began to walk out, but Quistis ran and grabbed his arm before he took one step over the threshold.  
  
"Can you honestly blame me for being a little testy that after all the suffering you caused us, caused ME, all you have to show for it is the exact life you lead before. As if nothing happened! Is there no justice?!"  
  
He forcefully wrenched his arm from her grasp and spun around, his features contorted in anger and pain. "Don't you DARE think for a second that you have any idea of what I had to go through to get where I am today! You can't even imagine what they did to me there. . .what they said." He winced at this, as if the very thought caused him physical pain, and for a moment he had an aura of insanity. His eyes squeezed shut and his fists clenched so tightly that they drew blood. Quistis knew then that she had gone too far. "You think I haven't paid my debt to society yet? Well neither do I. Even after all the torture, all the pain, the insults and constant reminders that I don't deserve to live, I move on. The sole purpose of my existence is redemption and to somehow make it up to you, to HIM! But it looks like I'll never be deemed good enough."  
  
He turned to go again, this time with no intention of coming back no matter what she cried out or how tightly she griped. But there was no need to fend her off, for as he ran down the corridor, she let him go without so much as a whisper, now certain that his presence here was innocent. Seifer was a very proud man, too proud for his own good, which resulted in his repeated failure of the SeeD exam. And this public breakdown, in front of his ex- instructor no less, was proof enough.  
  
Steeping back into the safety of her apartment, Quistis closed the door behind her and locked it tightly. Her head was starting to clear up, too much in fact and the memories of her horrible discussion with Squall came racing back, making her heart clench in pain and the familiar lump to form in her throat.  
  
That was two now. She had ruined whatever relationship she had had with two of her 'best' students both in the span of one hour. She was on a roll. Maybe she could do something to permanently damage her friendship with Zell and Irvine before the night was out.  
  
Unable to just sit and think about how messed up her life was, Quistis stood up and practically ran to the pantry, yanking open the door with a desperate fury. She quickly began shuffling through it, knocking down boxes of various cereals and crackers without a second thought as they fell and spilled at her feet.  
  
*Squall hates me*  
  
*Rinoa, a girl who did nothing but be nice to me, is now my enemy*  
  
*And Seifer. . .Though I haven't spoken to him for years, I have now broken him from whatever progress he had made in his life*  
  
*I'm a mess up. I've been acting horrible towards those few people who went out of their way to befriend me. Though I don't know why anyone would bother.*  
  
The tears had already traveled halfway down her cheek by the time she found the bottle buried way back in the cupboard behind two innocent, industrial size bags of flour and sugar. With newfound strength and determination, Quistis desperately yanked off the cap and took a large greedy gulp of the amber liquid, basking in joy as the burning in her throat took her mind off her problems. She repeated this a few more times, drowning out the pain the only way she knew how.  
  
A few minutes later, life was good again.  
  
~*~  
  
He stood on wreak of a balcony that had once been called 'the secret area' where student couples used to risk the wrath of a wandering faculty member in order to experience the teenage thrill of sneaking out and meeting a loved one, or simply an attractive one. Squall didn't know why they ever bothered to call it 'secret', since most of the faculty members had once been students themselves and therefore they knew all the hideouts, tricks and excuses on a personal level. The training center veranda was no more 'secret' than the cafeteria.  
  
Then again, since becoming Commander, Squall had learnt a lot more about the administration of Garden then he had ever bothered to guess. When listening to the bragging of several fellow classmates years earlier of how they climbed out windows and snuck past security for a night on the town, he had always found it a little too easy to get away with. Only when he proposed to Cid a way of strictly enforcing the curfew rules at Garden did he learn the truth.  
  
Cid actually WANTED the students to sneak out. He WANTED them to run away, get wasted and have premarital, pointless sex because apparently that was what being young was all about.  
  
'Living Life' Cid called it.  
  
Squall had a more colorful term: 'Juvenile Idiocy'.  
  
But who was he to argue with the headmaster? And, believe it or not, even Dr. Kadowaki believed he had a point. All students needed a break from military life every once in a while, she insisted. If not they would, apparently, surely go insane.  
  
*Not me* though Squall *I never succumbed to any stupid non-existent desires to make an exhibition of myself and I turned out fine.* He pondered that for a while, and laughed at his own contradiction *I'm more messed up than the rest of them put together*  
  
This was a fact, not any lame attempt at self-pity.  
  
He couldn't help but wonder how different his childhood could have been if he had known all this. Garden was his home. It was precious to him. And thus why he had always been so anally responsible and respectful of the rules. If he dared step one toe out of line, he may be kicked out, he may not study hard enough and flunk the written exam, if he spent more than an hour doing something considered universally 'fun' then he may miss training, weaken and fall behind.  
  
That was how Squall Leonhart became the best of the best. . .Not because he was especially brave and strong but by being the most paranoid son-of-a- bitch Garden ever had.  
  
He sighed and closed his eyes, letting the chilling wind push harshly against his face, the breeze playing with his chestnut hair, whipping it across his skin. At that moment, for a few precious seconds, standing there alone, he was at peace.  
  
But of course, that peace could not last. The sound of the rusty door creaking open shattered the soothing silence and brought Squall crashing down to Earth and all the misery it held for him.  
  
"This area is closed off for repairs," he told his silent partner, not bothering the turn around and face whatever giggly couple had dared disturb his concentration time. This happened often actually. Since Garden's sudden departure from its foundations almost 2 years ago, this hidden balcony had suffered greatly and unlike other, more important areas of Garden, Squall hadn't bothered requesting to spend hard-earned gil on rebuilding a pointless small corner that's only use was to break the rules. Especially, since the downfall of Norg (the source of Garden's apparent in-exhaustible supply of funding) gil was being carefully handled nowadays.  
  
But some students didn't seem to care that half the flooring was nothing but crumbling rock and the railing, the only thing keeping them from tumbling two stories to their gruesome deaths, was nothing but a thin, twisted piece of jagged metal. For the student's safety, the secret area was permanently OFF-LIMITS. But some STILL insisted on risking their lives to make out here, for lack of anything else to do or anywhere else to satisfy their lust.  
  
Usually, one warning, or even a simple glance of their commander, was enough to make the suicidal lovers depart with much haste. But today, whoever stood behind Squall now, seemed to have a different sort of death wish.  
  
If there was one day some rebellious student wished to confront the commander, today was the worst one they could have picked.  
  
"Did you hear me?" he cocked his head to the side, acknowledging the person's presence but not the individual themselves. "I could kick you out of Garden right now for even setting a foot out here. It's dangerous."  
  
"If it's so perilous then why are you here commander?" Squall cringed at the voice and quickly glanced over his shoulder once to confirm his identity before returning his gaze to the shimmering sea beyond the Balamb fields.  
  
"Go away Laguna." He said faintly, loud enough to be heard over the wind, but soft enough to show tense emotion, which he hoped would be enough to persuade his father to leave him in peace. If there was one time that he really couldn't (not just wouldn't) deal with him, it was now.  
  
But, being Laguna and thus completely dense, he didn't take the hint and walked right up beside him, leaning on the one area of the railing that was still relatively smooth. "Those things will kill ya you know?" he pointed to the half finished cigarette in Squall's hand, of which he took one last deep inhale and then tossed it to the wind, watching the fragments of ash, smoke and embers dance with each other. This enabled him to completely ignore Laguna, who persisted anyway. "I didn't know you smoked."  
  
*HA! That's to be expected when you abandon a child at birth, you tend not to know them.*  
  
"There's a lot you don't know about me." He cringed after speaking, not because he cared about hurting his father in any way, but because his talking was just inviting the conversation that he had spent the last 2 minutes successfully avoiding.  
  
"That doesn't change the fact that it's unhealthy." Squall looked upwards and sighed, pulled another cigarette out of his pack and placed it between his lips. Not because he wanted another. Hell, nothing was alluring to him about smoking except for it being something to distract him from thinking too much. But now that he knew Laguna thought it was bad, it had suddenly became that much more appealing.  
  
"I bet Rinoa doesn't find you giving yourself lung cancer all that tantalizing."  
  
*If he's going to force incoherent babble on me until I say something, I may as well get it over with*  
  
"If you must know, Rinoa has no idea. It's not a habit as much as it is a pastime of sorts. Picked it up from being forced into weeklong training expedition in my 11th year with a class full of hormonal 15-year-old girls. Seems like this was the perfect way to keep people as far away from me as possible." He chanced a glance at Laguna before striking a match along the cement wall beside him, and using the flame to light his cigarette. "Apparently it seems to have stopped working." He took a deep breath of the putrid smoke then blew it into the wind, pretending not to notice how it shifted into Laguna's eyes which started to water as he tried desperately not to cough and look like a 'sissy' in front of his son.  
  
*Too late* though Squall, trying to hide the smirk on his lips *I already know you're an idiot. No use hiding it* Laguna finally gave in an let out a small gasp which he tried to disguise as clearing his throat, but by then Squall had produced another cloud of suffocating air and he was forced to take a couple of steps back, waving his hands into the air in front of him as if he were swatting flies.  
  
*Still got it* he smiled and admired his cigarette as if it was his new best friend. But Laguna was as persistent as ever.  
  
"So why do you come out here anyway? It's so cold, dark, and, may I add, dangerous. Anyone in their right mind would stay very far away."  
  
"Thus the basis of its appeal."  
  
"Ah right. . . A good place to be alone since no one's allowed to come here anymore."  
  
And yet, he found him here. "I guess not."  
  
Squall, feeling his throat start to burn irritably, quickly threw his cigarette over the edge and then turned to Laguna, staring long and hard at the man who genetics forced him to call father. They gazed at each other for a couple of minutes, simply taking it all in in silence, the way Squall liked their conversations. If someone had walked into the secret area right then, they would have thought that their commander had acquired an evil twin. Standing there, nose-to-nose, same height, same build and the only difference being their hair and eye color, one could swear that a mirror was simply placed in between them.  
  
It was Laguna of course, not accustomed to spending such long periods of time having to keep his mouth shut, who was the first to break their serene silence.  
  
"You have her eyes," he said sincerely, a comment that took Squall completely off-guard.  
  
Her eyes.  
  
Raine's eyes of course.  
  
He had suppressed any curiosity he had about his mother for months now. The questions that had been burning in his mind since he discovered that every child had to have REAL parents, we're suddenly surfacing. And here he had the chance to get it all out, to finally satisfy his burning curiosity. The moment was perfect.  
  
He opened his mouth to form the words of his first question in a long list, but his thoughts were too scrambled, too complicated to be put into words.  
  
*What was she like?*  
  
*Did you really love her?*  
  
*Why did you leave us?*  
  
*What did she look like?*  
  
*How did she die?*  
  
He wanted to know. He wanted to get this damn grudge against Laguna sufficient clause so that he could hate him with reason. But there were other things to do tonight.  
  
Other, more important things to be tended too.  
  
As if on cue, his digital wristwatch beeped. He tore his eyes away from his father long enough to check the time.  
  
*5:00. . .45 minutes till sunrise*  
  
45 minutes to decide between love and duty. . . And if love prevails, so little time left to figure out how to get away with it.  
  
He had to leave. His so-called 'thinking' time had led to nothing but 2 wasted hours of avoiding the subject completely. And now his decision seemed more pressurized than ever.  
  
"What is it?" he heard Laguna ask in complete wonder. But Squall was already making his way to the door, running as fast as he could toward the exit, grabbing his gunblade from the threshold as he passed.  
  
He could hear his father calling after him, but he had no time to consider the hurt feelings of a man he had only spoken too for a total of 1 hour and 15 minutes in his entire life. Rinoa was more family than he ever would be.  
  
But, like Laguna, could he sacrifice his family for the 'greater good'?  
  
As Squall ran through the training center, carefully dodging any know places to be attacked, he prayed to Hyne that the popular catch phrase 'like father like son' did not apply to him.  
  
~*~  
  
**AUTHOR'S NOTES** I just realized something. From Friday to Monday I'm going to Toronto for a Canadian Music Festival. You know what that means? 12 hours sitting on a bus with nothing better to do than write! If I'm lucky I'll get prolly TWO chapters done for Tuesday. YEY! Sorry if this one was boring. What's really strange is the fact that according to my original outline of this story, it should have been finished by chapter 15. . .but nooo. Lots more strange and devious plot twist too come! Starting with next chapter (hopefully out by Tuesday when I get back). Remember that I incorporate suggestions from reviews into my story. So, please review!  
  
I'd like to thank Eric Trinh (steelknuckle@hotmail.com) for giving me some of the idea in this chapter. I was going to leave Laguna out of the story for a while but he convinced me to add him in for a bit more, adding necessary drama and reason for Squall's conflict of emotions. So, thank you.  
  
Mary: Thanks for being a Quistis hater. I got some pain for making her such a mess up.  
  
I'd also thank Vick330, as usual. He actually wrote a bit of the beginning in the scene between Quistis and Seifer and, for helping me start off which is the hardest thing to do, thanks. 


	14. Sanguine Dawn

*AUTHOR'S NOTES* yep. I'm back. You know that music festival I was talking about last chapter in Toronto where I was supposed to have time to write? Well IT WAS CANCELLED. Due to SARS. What the hell!? There's a greater chance of being hit by a monster truck downtown at exactly 12:08 than catching it. *rolls eyes*. My school is paranoid. Anyway, weekend practices for the drama production were re-scheduled due to the cancellation and thus monopolized all my time. The show was last weekend. I was directing until one of the stars came down with mono one week before opening night (how cliché is that?) and I had to be an emergency understudy. This has been the craziest month of my life so far! BUT IT'S OVER!! WOOHOO! Back to writing.  
  
~*Chapter 14*~  
  
Sanguine Dawn  
  
*A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.*  
  
Zell slung his SeeD duffle bag over his shoulder in a desperate attempt to make the weight of his not-so-light luggage more comfortable for his journey home. Since his 18th birthday, Zell had become sort of the unofficial, Garden partygoer. But tonight had been one of those nights when his heart just wasn't in it. The sad truth was: he'd rather spend a few days in the peaceful company of his mother any day than succumb to yet another invitation to yet another lame student excuse to get drunk and attempt to further oneself in the sexual baseball system.  
  
Zell considered this maternal preference to be incredibly pathetic and unhealthy for someone of his age and blossoming popularity. So he found it better to leave during the quiet hours of night (or early morning technically), while his companions and those who looked up to him as the Garden He-man would either be passed out or too drunk to notice him slipping out for a much needed retreat from his reputation.  
  
*I blame Irvine* thought Zell, as he tiptoed his way toward the parking lot, remembering how the cowboy had forced him, on the night of his birthday, into a high-class get together with an inexhaustible supply of fine alcohol, hot dogs, and beautiful women. One thing was for sure; Irvine knew how to treat his friends well.  
  
But that had ignited his addiction. . .an addiction to the attention he got while in the company of such 'refined' people (by teenage standards). None of his REAL friends had ever bothered to listen to his endless theories about the evolution of the hotdog. Nor had they ever even snickered at one of his many lawyer jokes. But these people . . .Hyne were they fun! He could simply burp and they'd laugh for hours! Never had he felt so accepted . . . so non-freakish and comfortable. He had been absolutely certain, after that first night, that he would NEVER grow tired of partying.  
  
But his lust for it had quickly waned after a month or so when he experienced a near-fatal accident involving a hangover and waking up in the bed of the girlfriend of a world renowned pro-wrestler . . .who was, by the way, world renowned for his 'accidentally' either crippling or killing his opponents in every match.  
  
Expert martial artist or not, there were just some 350 pound men that you did not want to piss off. Needless to say, Zell limited his drinking after barely escaping, butt naked from the fire escape that day. And with this new vow relative sobriety, the same things weren't funny anymore. It wasn't long before the stupidity of the whole concept of student gatherings was bluntly revealed.  
  
Sure he made a casual appearance now and then to the important functions if only to entertain others, but there was no more appeal in it for him personally. And thus explaining his journey home for one of his rare weekends off.  
  
People would probably think he got so wasted that he needed a day off.  
  
Or they'd make up some wild story about him leaving with the Mayor of Fisherman's Horizon's daughter.  
  
Whatever excuse they thought up for his absence, he was certain it wouldn't be half as scandalous as the truth: He simply missed his mother.  
  
Careful to avoid any direct eye contact with the few stragglers from the party, stumbling their ways towards their dormitories, (which he didn't have the heart to tell them were in the opposite direction) he eventually made in into the narrow corridor that led to the parking lot unobserved. He instantly decided that it was way too late and he was too tired to even consider his original plan of jogging to mother's. A car would just have to do this once.  
  
He shifted the duffle bag towards his chest as he walked and dug into it fervently, hoping against hope that he had remembered to pack his keys before leaving his dorm. However, before conducting a thorough enough search to confirm his suspicion that they were in fact still on his desk upstairs, Zell strolled right into an inanimate figure, sending whoever it was crashing to the ground along with the several strange items that were gathered in their arms.  
  
"Oh! I'm so sorry miss!" From seeing a long dark sheet of hair covering the face of his assaultee, he could only assume it was a woman . . . but then again, Irvine had long hair . . . "I didn't see you there." He bent down to help her gather her things, genuinely shocked that anyone in Garden would be up at this hour, and in the parking lot of all places.  
  
"It's ok Zell. Really." The woman insisted, and only after hearing his name, did he even consider looking into her face.  
  
"Matron?" he handed the dropped items that he had gathered back into her arm, his face a mask of awe. "What are you doing here so late? Where's Cid? Where are you going?"  
  
Matron hesitated for a moment, and Zell, from years of training, could swear that he saw a hint of fear in her face. But she recovered quickly enough, a warm smile spreading on her face, and all his reflex misgivings instantly dissolved.  
  
"So many questions my little Zell. Is it so strange that I'm planning a surprise picnic for my husband and I?"  
  
Zell blushed "No. It's just. . .do you know what time it is?"  
  
"I am perfectly aware. It is the only hour of the entire day when my Cid is unconscious enough for me to sneak out and gather supplies for this whole excavation. He really does need a vacation. BADLY." she sighed, and ran her free hand through her graying hair. "But you know Cid. He will never willingly step away from his work even if he wants to. So, as the significant other of an important man, it is my job to sometimes force him into having a break so that he can blame me if any complaints arise."  
  
"I'll remember that in case I ever marry into politics."  
  
They walked down the remaining stretch of the hallway, laughing quietly to themselves. The parking lot came into view just as Zell finally found the keys (that were in his jacket pocket the whole time) to his *cough* "company" sports car, which was, technically, meant to be used for missions only. But what was the chance that one of those rare, fancy, undercover deals would show up this weekend of all times? Surely they wouldn't miss it for a couple of days. Edea, meanwhile, opened the trunk of one of the bulky, disgusting mission vans and dumped the contents in her arms into the storage compartment. By pure luck, he happened to get a glimpse inside despite matron's obvious attempts to block his view.  
  
Books, strange gems, test tubes, specific medical equipment, strictly survival food supplies, and bottled water . . . not exactly the basics of your everyday 'romantic picnic'.  
  
"So are you going to visit your mother then?" asked matron, as she hastily slammed the trunk shut, forcing his gaze to move from the van's contents.  
  
"Uh. . .Yeah. I got the weekend off finally. Besides, it's Ma's 50th birthday next month and who knows if I'll get another chance like this to see her."  
  
"That's sweet of you. I always knew you were a going to be a good son. One of the reasons I was so reluctant to let you go." To Zell's surprise her eyes began to shine as she said this, and she bit down on her lower lip to stop it's trembling. "But Mrs. Dintch was such a kind and lonely woman. If anyone could take proper care of you and raise you the way you deserved to be raised, it was her."  
  
"Matron?" He moved away from his car and headed toward the woman he used to consider his mother. Gingerly, he placed a gloved hand on her shoulder and she averted her eyes to the ground, embarrassed about her sudden reaction to remembering the past of her children. "Are you alright?"  
  
Somehow, she found the courage to look at him then, and Zell noticed details of her features that hadn't been there not too long ago. It was common knowledge that the sorceress powers extended the life of its inhibitors. Thus explaining why a woman nearing 60 had the appearance of a lean 30-year-old whilst under its influence. But now, a little over a year since her powers were transferred, age was catching up with Edea at a remarkable rate. Her face, which he had always remembered as smooth, now showed distinct skin fold around the eyes and mouth. Her silken sheet of raven hair was seemingly duller and strands of gray tainted its perfection. But the largest difference was her eyes.  
  
Though few agreed, Zell always swore that he could tell a person's age by their eyes. The eyes of young people were always wide, large, full of hope and passion and surprises to come. While those of more mature adults eventually loose their glow, their sparkle. And now, matron's eyes as he last remembered as bright amber, reflecting the dancing flames of fire torches, had suddenly extinguished to almost black; a dull, monotonous color, like coal. It almost scared him to be looking at such concrete, physical evidence that maybe something good came out of having that kind of power.  
  
He shook his head quickly to rid himself of such a horrible thought. Rinoa was completely miserable because of her unfortunate inheritance. Young forever or not, it would be crazy to even think about appreciating such an awesome force of utter destruction.  
  
It was like admiring the atomic bomb for its casing. Who cared how many people it killed as long as it did it in style?  
  
"I'm fine Zell my boy" she insisted while casually shrugging his hand away and absorbing her tears with her sleeve. "I always get emotional when I think of my children, and see how much they've all grown up. That's all."  
  
She raised her hand to his face and lightly traced the design of his tattoo with her fingers and he smiled sheepishly. "I'm very proud of you Zell. Of what you've become. Whatever happens never doubt my love for you. . .for all of you."  
  
"You're speaking as if you'll never see me again."  
  
Matron remained silent. A little too long for Zell's liking.  
  
But soon enough her smile came back, as if the 'on' button was suddenly pushed somewhere in the recesses of her brain. "Look at me, wasting all this time when you should be spending it with your mother." She twirled him around and teasingly pushed him in the direction of his car "now get going!"  
  
Whatever tension Zell once felt, was instantly dissolved by her playfulness. He laughed stupidly, and returned to her side only briefly to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Goodbye matron" he yelled as he jogged towards his car, wanting to make Balamb before 8 AM so as not to miss out on his mother's famous pancake brunch.  
  
Within 15 seconds, his bag was in the back, his music was blasting, and the red convertible rolled up the ramp and out of Garden.  
  
If he had stayed a little longer, perhaps he may have seen Edea clutch her heart and fall to her knees.  
  
Perhaps he would have witnessed her desperate weeping.  
  
Perhaps he would have heard her whisper in return, hopelessly. "Goodbye. . ."  
  
~*~  
  
Quistis upended the bottle, licking away the few remaining drops that fell around her lips. Nothing was drizzling out, she realized with a scowl. She shook it a little with no change to the restricted flow. It must be stuck.  
  
She tapped the bottom, her open mouth awaiting more of that sweet liquid that helped her problems overlap and bury themselves deeper and deeper in the recesses of her mind with each sip.  
  
"It's empty," she decided after ten minutes of the scraping the bottle, hoping that maybe, with enough persistence, a trapped liter would could rushing out. But, alas, she was forced to eventually realize the horrible truth . . .she had exhausted her supply.  
  
With a frustrated sigh she slumped back against the wall, then brought her wrist toward her face, eyes squinting desperately to make out the numbers on her gold watch.  
  
5:04 it read. Almost sunrise.  
  
She glanced at the bottle again. Then hastily threw it aside, ignorant, it seemed, to that fact that it was made of glass until she heard it shatter on the floor. She winced at the sound, partly because she knew that the mess would take a while to clean up, and partly because of the earsplitting headache the sudden loud noise produced.  
  
"Shit." she whispered to herself, immediately throwing her hands over her ears, hoping to block out the internal, painful echo. But there was no escape. She brought this on herself, that she knew, and yes the pain was terrible. . .But it was much better than the alternative: facing reality.  
  
After a few minutes, the room stopped spinning and her senses returned to a steady enough state that she could at least recognize where she was. She decided, to keep her mind off things, she may as well sweep up the shattered glass in her living room. Somehow she pulled herself to her feet and stumbled into the bathroom. She pulled open the cabinet door with such force that the hinges broke, not that she noticed. Whatever was left of her senses were completely focused on the task at hand; finding the broom.  
  
5 minutes later, after a sufficient struggle with the various bottles that tumbled from their shelves and the vacuum cleaner hose that somehow tied itself around her ankle, Quistis finally was able to drag a mop toward the living area. She immediately began sweeping, oblivious to the fact that her efforts were doing nothing more than spreading the sharp fragments over a larger surface area.  
  
She chased the glass for a while, humming to herself the SeeD anthem and pretending that the clinking noise the scraping fragments made was some kind of modern background music. She laughed, even though nothing concerning her present situation was the least bit amusing. Still, the giggles couldn't help but force themselves from her mouth. Soon she was laughing so hard that she shaking knees could no longer support her weight and she clasped onto the floor, ignoring, temporarily, the searing pain that resulted as significantly large shards embedded themselves into her exposed legs and her palms.  
  
It wasn't long though, before she began to notice the warm, liquid sensation of hot liquid trickling down her skin and start to form puddles about her.  
  
"Oh no.." she exclaimed halfheartedly, somehow not surprised by the sight of her own blood oozing out of her from several small yet significant wounds. She crawled forward, her hands groping for anything solid to help lift her to her feet. But the movement only pushed the glass further in, and soon the pain was all she could think about.  
  
She had to get up.  
  
Fast.  
  
It hurt. It really hurt.  
  
She moved faster, tears further blurring her vision, reaching out for a helpful hand, and chair ANYTHING to save her. Though the cuts were only minor, Quistis rationality had long since dissolved and for a moment, she was certain that this was the end of her meaningless existence.  
  
She was going to bleed to death on her living room floor.  
  
And the reflex image that her mind produced when thinking, genuinely, that the end was near, was that of Squall.  
  
She wanted to talk to him one last time. She wanted to apologize for her outrageous behavior and to wish him and Rinoa well. There was still so much to do . . .so much to say . . .so much to  
  
Her thoughts were abruptly halted as her pawning hand fell upon something other than hard wood or glass. It was something thin, and smooth. The size of a keycard she concluded after examining it briefly.  
  
Keycard. . .  
  
But she had forgotten hers in her purse at the ball coat check. Who's was this?  
  
She brought it up to her face, her panic quickly dissipating into some newfound curiosity.  
  
'SEIFER ALMASY' it read.  
  
Seifer almasy?  
  
Right. . .he had been here. They had had a fight. He left in a hurry. And in the struggle, had dropped his keycard.  
  
His ALL-ACCESS keycard.  
  
Of course, for security reasons, the programming would only allow it to open doors until 6 am. That was enough time wasn't it? She could go to Squall's room with this card since, even on the elite floor, male and female dorms were separated by a door that remained locked during night hours. She could get into his office with it, leave a note or wait for him since no one but the headmaster and the commander used the third floor. They'd definitely be alone then.  
  
He wouldn't want to speak to her after tonight. But this was her last chance to get him alone. To say that she was sorry. To resolve their issues once and for all and be friends again. Yes. It was perfect.  
  
Grasping the card tightly in her hand she pulled herself, with much difficulty, into a standing position. She glanced at her watch.  
  
5:30 it read. Only 15 minutes till sunrise and the card became un-usable. She had to hurry.  
  
She will begin with checking his dorm.  
  
~*~  
  
When Rinoa's mind began to lazily draw away from slumber and back into the land of the living, she decided not to dare open her eyes for fear that last night was nothing more than a wonderful dream. An awesome, sensational and unreal dream.  
  
She stretched her arms above her head with a loud, satisfied yawn, hoping to capture the attention of the man sleeping next to her so that she wouldn't have to be the one to disturb this perfect moment. But he, being a little unacquainted no doubt to the morning rituals of new lovers, remained still. She rolled on her side, her eyes still shut and reached her arm over to the other side of the bed, expecting it to fall on a naked, warm back. Needless to say, when nothing but the cotton sheets presented themselves beneath her palm, her eyes darted open in surprise.  
  
The bed was empty. Cold and empty. Meaning it hadn't felt the presence of other human in at least an hour.  
  
Rinoa sat up, gripping the sheets tightly around her naked form while desperately scanning the room.  
  
"Squall?" she called quietly, not certain of the wall thickness between this dorm and the next. Her voice would surely arouse suspicion on the male side of the elite floor. "Squall?" she dared to call a little louder, hoping that maybe he simply went to the bathroom. But the dorm was still. Uncomfortably still.  
  
*He left* she decided upon further inspection, noticing that his clothes had indeed disappeared from the floor where hers remained scattered.  
  
This wasn't exactly how she had imagined the morning after they made love. Where was the kiss on her shoulder to coax her gradually to wake? The cute conversation? The repeated expressions of love? The breakfast in bed? The awkward yet fulfilling admittance as to how much they enjoyed one another?  
  
Then again, this was Squall. She supposed she should be satisfied with him at least finding the time to do this at all. He probably had some emergency meeting. Maybe he just didn't want to wake her. Maybe he was embarrassed. All these explanations she found to be equally inexcusable. But, for whatever reason, he had disappeared and she had to deal with it.  
  
With a sigh, Rinoa swung her legs off the bed and tightened the sheets around herself in a makeshift robe that she carried with her. She winced as her feet hit the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, but got over it quickly enough as she switched on the lights and glared, distressfully, at the horrible image which was her reflection.  
  
She was a complete mess. Her hair was half up in messed up curls and half down in sweaty strands, stuck here and there with rebellious bobby pins that tangled themselves up. Her dark eye makeup had smudged terribly around her eyes giving the plausible illusion that she got punched in the face a few too many times. Her long-lasting lipstick had also proved to be a bad decision, for the practically permanent color, instead of easily wiping off, had spread, staining the skin around her mouth a bright red appearing like some sort of rash. She resembled like an 18th century, Centrian whore. Thank Hyne Squall hadn't been there to see her like this in the light.  
  
Turning on the faucet, she let the hot water run while she desperately searched Squall's bathroom cabinet for some kind of skin-friendly cleanser strong enough to remove all this gunk from her face. In the end though, she gave up and ended up using plain soap and a grisly cloth, scrubbing her face until her skin felt raw and rubbery. With a sigh, Rinoa turned to water to cold and idly splashed some on her skin in an attempt to stop the burning. Only then was she satisfied.  
  
She raked through her hair with her finger, removing all unruly pins, and dared to look in the mirror once more, hoping that this time she'd like what she saw. Alas, her conscious wasn't so kind. Standing there, wrapped in nothing more than a sheet, the exposed skin of her shoulders and collarbones still sticky from sweat and her face red and dripping, Rinoa couldn't help but feel. . .cheap.  
  
She felt worse than cheap actually. She felt used, like in all those heartbreaking movies when the naïve heroine falls in love with a mischievous soldier who only indulges her romantic fantasies to satisfy his own, selfish desires. Of course she knew, with absolute certainty, that Squall was nothing like that, and yet still some disobedient part of her subconscious prompted her to think otherwise.  
  
"I need to get out of here," she told herself, knowing very well that the reason for all these irrational thoughts was due to her unease of being alone in his apartment.  
  
She turned the shower on and stepped in once it was warm enough. The rush of water brought with it a sense of calm and relaxation. She closed her eyes and let the pounding of the droplets on the ceramics tiles fill her ears. But time did not elude her. If Squall did come back, she didn't want to be here when he did. She was still confused after all. A little time off to think about all of this was exactly what she needed. Where would they go from here? What's to happen now? What did he talk about in that conversation with Cid last night? And what about medical school in Timber?  
  
There were many things to consider. . .decisions still to be made.  
  
With a sudden urgency, Rinoa quickly shut off the water, toweled herself dry, wasting no time in scurrying into the bedroom, gathering her garments and hastily putting them on. She had to hurry after all. It was almost sunrise and by then Garden would be in full swing and her one chance of getting back to her own dorm unnoticed would expire. She was so intent on tying up the many straps of her sandals that she didn't notice the door opening, or the lone, shadowy figure step inside.  
  
"Rinoa. . ." only at the sound of the voice, a mere inches to her left, did the additional presence register. She gasped, fundamentally startled. Her hand flew to her chest in alarm, clutching her heart to stop it from beating so rapidly from the abrupt shock. She stared into the intruder's eyes for a minute or so, both to catch her breath and too figure out a way to handle the awkward situation she found herself in. . .if only she had rushed a little bit faster this whole scene could have been avoided for a few more hours!  
  
"Squall," she found herself replying in a formal and cold tone, un- intentionally of course. But so soon after waking up alone, the initial contempt was still painfully clear in her mind. She finished tying her sandals and stood up, staring deep into those azure eyes of his that were void of all emotion. He was in 'closed' mode again. His interior wall was built up full force, barbwire and all. That meant he had something to hide.  
  
"Where did you go?" she asked, trying to make it sound like an innocent inquiry and not harsh interrogation. He remained silent for a few seconds, his eyes darting around the room, steadying on the digital, bedside clock. She followed his gaze.  
  
5:34 it read.  
  
"An emergency meeting was called." He replied at last, as though trying to divert her attention from the time. "I had to go. Sorry." Rinoa raised an eyebrow questioningly. His answer was too prolonged, too concise and his tone almost sarcastic. One things for sure, Commander Leonhart was a horrible liar.  
  
However, Rinoa didn't want to be bothered with a fight now. Especially since it would inevitably lead to yelling, which would then lead to their being reprimanded for spending the night together. Not wanting their sex life to be common knowledge, Rinoa decided it was best the two of them just give each other some space until their REAL priorities became clear.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that." She bent down to pick up her purse and headed for the door briskly, trying to be as obvious as possible that she was less than pleased with the end results of what was supposed to be a meaningful step in their relationship.  
  
"Wait!" he exclaimed loudly, stepping in front of the door and grabbing her arm in desperate, painful manner. She winced and immediately twisted herself free, both alarmed and angry at his violent actions.  
  
"Don't you dare touch me like that again!" her voice dropped to a dangerous pitch and her hands clenched at her sides, but Squall seemed unnerved.  
  
"You can't go. . .not yet."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
She could see him thinking, the wheels were turning fervently inside his head, she knew. It was strange but somehow, though his expression was calm and stern, she could feel his internal panic. He remained silent too long, and it became obvious to Rinoa the real reason why she shouldn't be allowed to set foot outside his dorm. Into the illegal 4th elite floor, under constant surveillance. Why it would be scandalous!  
  
"Figures. Nothing's changed, admit it!"  
  
Squall's expression remained as blank as ever. "Admit what?"  
  
"That you're ashamed of me!"  
  
"What!?" his eyes squinted and he cocked his head to the side: the traditional expression of confusion.  
  
"You don't want me to step out of this room. You'll get caught and whatever nice agreement you made with Cid will blow up in your face!"  
  
He sighed and shook his head in annoyance, only fueling her anger. "I don't care about Cid!" he insisted, daring to take a step closer and place a gentle hand on her forearm, hoping it would be enough to calm her down. "If it mattered that much then why would I have publicly exposed our relationship at the ceremony last night?"  
  
"Oh I don't know," she roughly shook him off "to get laid perhaps?!"  
  
"Oh my Hyne, you're being unreasonable you know that?" Unintentionally, his voice raised in pitch, his patience wearing unbearably thin with these ridiculous accusations "and insane may I add."  
  
"Fine!" He watched her scurry about the room, gathering the few remaining accessories of hers off the floor and jamming them violently into her purse, her wet hair dripping and darkening the fabric of her red dress, giving the impression that a she had been in a downpour of blood. When convinced that all of her belongings were accounted for, she returned to Squall, glaring angrily into his eyes. "Prove to me you don't care. Let me walk out and be as loud as I want, let me do whatever I want and tell whoever I want." She headed for the door, with the confidence that he wouldn't dare stop her if he cared at all.  
  
She gripped the handle, relieved that so far no move had been made to stop her. That is until she tried to open it. She turned one way and pulled. Then the other. She tugged with all her might but it wouldn't budge. It was electronically sealed. Only those with the card could enter or leave.  
  
"I KNEW IT!!" she screamed, kicking the door furiously, trying to make as much noise as possible. "I FUCKING KNEW IT!" Squall was calmly sitting on the bed when she turned around, staring at his hands, as though nothing strange was happening at all. Rinoa walked past him and tore open his top desk drawer, then the next one, and then the next. He had to have a spare key somewhere. "I should have left when I had the chance." She found a compartment full of papers and emptied in onto the floor, pawning through it for something rectangular and plastic.  
  
"There's only one key." Squall insisted calmly. He now stood right behind her, pulling her gently to her feet, trying to hold her still as she struggled to be released from his steel grip. "This isn't what it seems I swear. It's complicated. . ."  
  
"My ass!" she tore herself free soon enough by elbowing him forcefully in the stomach, he being the one who trained her in self defense, it was easy enough to escape the teacher. As he doubled back, clutching his abdomen, she tried the door again. Still locked. With a frustrated sigh, she turned to him, her face fuming. "You are the most selfish, paranoid. . ."  
  
"Rinoa. . ."  
  
"ASSHOLE, who spend his entire life literally kissing ass!"  
  
He chanced a glance at the clock. 5:38. He had to hurry.  
  
"If you'd just listen!" They were face-to-face, inches apart. He never imagined that she would be this difficult. And in the heat of the moment, he too couldn't help but start to feel the familiar heat of rage swell within, or maybe that was just because he was still trying to catch his breath from her previous blow. "It's more complex then you think. There's only a few minutes. . ."  
  
Out of the corner of his eye her saw her arm rise, but his reflexes were slowed in the passion of the argument. He felt the searing pain of her palm across his face before his mind even registered the danger of it.  
  
She hit hard. He had taught her well. He touched his lip and watched, in astonishment, the dripping red liquid that now coated his fingers.  
  
Rinoa was more than furious. This man, who only a few hours ago had swore that she was the only thing that mattered in his life, was now holding her captive to shelter his precious reputation. Was she really worth so little? Never had anyone made her feel so cheap all her life. Even her father, who she despised for being a tyrant, at least he only acted in her best interests. But Squall. . .his betrayal was too much for her already weakened heart to handle.  
  
"I can't believe I ever let you touch me. You're disgusting." The words sounded spiteful in his ears. Cruel and wicked. He wanted to shudder at her newly acquired, venomous tone but found himself rooted to spot. "You may be considered the best in this hell hole you call home, but to anyone that matters, you are nothing."  
  
She was simply angry. He knew that. He was holding her prisoner; she had ever right to assault him. But why was it hurting so much? Why was it scaring him?  
  
Despite his previous plan of reasoning, Squall found his free hand wandering into his pocket, if only by defensive impulse.  
  
"You're a leech Squall Leonhart. Living off other people's blood that you spill."  
  
He closed his eyes, licking the drizzling plasma off his split lip, the salty taste of it distracting him temporarily from the poison the woman he loved was now reciting. Maybe she wasn't so pure and perfect after all.  
  
"No wonder your family abandoned you. They had sense. They. . " She didn't get a chance to finish, only to stager back in surprise as Squall lunged at her, pinning her against the door.  
  
Her eyes involuntarily widened in fear. She had gone too far. She knew it before the words were out of her mouth. She had simply been coasting on the belief that the obnoxiously honorable Squall Leonhart would never hurt a fly without authentic provocation and permission. But then again, she had also believed that he loved her more than anything. Maybe she didn't know him at all.  
  
She was so tense and apprehensive as to what his next move would be that she didn't even notice him embedding something painful deep into her upper arm. Only when her bicep began to burn unbearably did she recognize that something was, indeed, wrong. She gasped in agony as he stepped back, his face a mask of anger and disbelief.  
  
Rinoa tore whatever it was out of her shoulder and stared at it.  
  
A needle?  
  
What the. . .  
  
She began to feel weak. The horrible burning sensation had spread throughout her entire left arm, leaving it numb and useless. It was moving still. Across her shoulders and down into her right arm. She could feel it slither into her chest and constrict around her heart, squeezing intolerably. With a small gasp and loud swallow, she let the syringe fall from her now useless hand and shatter on the floor. The noise it made sounded far off and echo-like.  
  
She fell to her knees. It was becoming difficult to breathe.  
  
The room spun and everything was gradually becoming a hazy blur of impossible colors.  
  
"Squall. . ." she managed to choke out between rasping attempts for air. She groped along the floor, found his leg and grasped onto it, looking up into the general direction of his face. "What. . .?"  
  
He pulled away from her and stepped back. His face, she saw, is as hard as stone.  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered in a dead voice, just before she falls unconscious, the pain becoming too much to take.  
  
It is done then.  
  
His decision was made. It was too late now for a change in heart.  
  
~*~  
  
He stared at her for a while. Oblivious to everything around him except for her rigid body sprawled on the floor. Her face frozen in a saddened expression of his betrayal, even after the death-like drug had taken effect, a single tear somehow founds its way from her left eye and traveled, halfheartedly, down her face. How long had he stood like this? One minute? Five? Ten? Time held no meaning anymore.  
  
Squall buried his face in his hands and sighed. At least the hard part was over.  
  
"What have you done?"  
  
He lifted his head and averted his eyes to the doorway where a golden figure stood trembling, a key card in one hand, the other gripping the doorknob so tightly her knuckles were white.  
  
Quistis.  
  
How did she get in here? He locked the door he was sure of it.  
  
"What have you done!?" she repeated, striding, a little awkwardly into the room and kneeling beside Rinoa's fallen body, searching desperately for any sign of life. Before he can even begin to search for the words to explain, she quickly comes to the obvious conclusion.  
  
"You killed her!" she screamed, jumping up in horror and charging toward Squall. He raised his arms in defense, not wanting to feel the wrath of a second enraged woman the same night, but there is no need for concern. For halfway there, it seemed Quistis passed out conveniently on his mattress.  
  
Squall sighed.  
  
Daring to assume that he is safe for the moment, he looked over the disaster scene that was his dorm. A half-dead sorceress on his floor, his bleeding, drunk ex-instructor on his bed, and he, the most deranged of them all, sits down in a corner resting his head on his knees, praying to Hyne that this is all a bad dream.  
  
As if the curtains have suddenly become transparent, red light flooded the room, exposing every crevice of the horrid exhibition before him.  
  
Dawn.  
  
Never had it looked so ugly.  
  
~*~  
  
Author's Notes: So yeah. FINALLY got this chapter out. I actually wrote the first part with Zell more than two months ago, but since I update only every 3 weeks or so, I always insist on posting LONG chapters only. It's a small solace for those few who wait for my new chapters. At least it keeps them a while. So what do you think will happen next? I don't know whether it was a shock or obvious that Squall eventually got it in him to inject Rinoa. Though it seems a little random, he has his reasons. This story is turning out to be WAY longer than I originally intended. I think I'm actually gonna post it in two books. If I do decided on that then this 'Book One', the promise, will be finished within two chapters. Tell me what you think, and don't forget to REVIEW!  
  
Vick330: Thanks for last chapter's constructive criticism. I have other plans for Laguna though so don't start to feel all disappointed that he's an idiot. He kinda has to be an external idiot since that's just his character. But he develops a much more important role later on other than comic relief. Keep it coming though! I never refuse sorely needed help.  
  
Vanessa143: Ah. You're review was fun. Not that you remember it. I live in Canada by the way. Montreal, Quebec. And yes, it is 'kool' as your sister says. Thus why a trip to Toronto is not really considered a big adventure since it's only an hour away by plane. I consider myself pretty patriotic despite the fact that I hate hockey (damn ice!). Anyway, thanks for reviewing!  
  
Josh: Here's some Rinoa just for you! Seriously, I wasn't going to add the whole Rinoa part just yet but I figured I'd give my few, regular reviewers some happiness and maybe this fic will have some point. And I don't think this is really gonna turn into a Quiefer. That would make it all a little too complicated. Seifer's just there for comic relief later on I suppose. And as for Squall smoking? He just needed some kind of mild (for now) bad habit that'll grow on him later on when. . .I'm not saying anything. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Everybody: You rock simply for being on fanfiction.net  
  
QUESTION???: I notice that sometimes I receive e-mails telling me that some of my favorite author's have updated. Since I update so rarely do you think I should make an update alert mailing list? If so and you want to be on it just say so in reviews. 


	15. Trust Issues

~*Chapter 15*~  
  
Trust Issues  
  
*Things always look better when you can't see them.*  
  
A full ten minutes passed before Squall had even begun to contemplate opening his eyes let alone moving from the dark, safe corner. Eventually he forced himself to pry at least one eyelid opened and, upon doing so, instantly regretted it.  
  
The scene had still yet to miraculously morph into something semi-pleasant as it did in his wonderful daydreams of late. But alas, nothing had changed. Rinoa, growing paler by the second, still lay sprawled on the floor at an almost impossible angle and Quistis' blood continued to slowly stain his sheets. . .his really really nice sheets. She had to taint everything of his didn't she?  
  
Upon closer inspection Squall concluded that there was nothing dangerous about the assistant headmistress' state. The cuts were minor and so few that the only thing she needed worry about was finding a sturdy brand of band-aids and of keeping well away from him in the future. He quickly decided that the best remedy, not to mention the most simple, was to simply let her sleep it off. What other choice did he have anyway? In a few minutes Garden would be awake and bustling with people again and his one chance of getting out unobserved would dissipate.  
  
There wasn't enough time to worry about something as minor as a drunken intrusion. . .which may result in her job being revoked if caught. Squall instinctively felt a little guilty about leaving her in such a delicate situation but just as easily threw the pitiful emotion away. It was her own fault anyway. Let her clean up her own messes.  
  
With a paranoid cautiousness, Squall gripped the edge of his desk and slowly pulled himself up from the floor, exceedingly careful not to make a creak in the non-existent floorboards so as not to disturb his restful visitors. Now was a very delicate moment, one that may determine how he lived the rest of his life. He couldn't afford anyone presently on the floor to have any inkling that something odd was going on, not to mention the risk of waking Quistis who'd inevitably go into another screaming fit and precious seconds could be lost trying to calm her down.  
  
Never had Squall been so glad that Cid forced him into agreeing to spend a ton of gil on what he thought was completely 'unnecessary' soundproofing. With single sex zones and the majority of the residents out on missions more than 80% of the time, he wasn't able to see the point in bothering to put so much money, time and effort into making the walls thicker. It wasn't before long though that he began to notice that many of his fellow 'A' rank SeeDs had visitors of the opposite sex some nights DESPITE to strict rule against such activity. Knowing that Cid had no concerns about the extracurricular activities of the Garden students, Squall could only thank Hyne that he couldn't hear a peep of what went on in his neighbors' apartments.  
  
Once again, Cid had been right as usual. . .as always in fact. Never once had any of the man's predictions (from enemy movements to the amount of hot dogs to order) ever been off target.  
  
The elite administration of course, did have a different set of rules. Once you became part of the faculty and leaders of military planning you were no longer considered students at Garden with an expendable reputation. Strict regulations commanded the manners and actions of said administration, who didn't dare break the rules or embarrass themselves and Garden. They were public figure heads after all. Any shame to them would be everyone's pain.  
  
Squall shook his head to clear it and continued moving softly through the room, not daring to think about anything for fear of losing his nerve. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally arrived beside Rinoa's body and tried to be a methodical as possible when turning her over and inspecting for signs of life. He had done this millions of times to wounded soldiers out in the battlefield, determining their fate depending on the amount of supplies available and the strength of their heartbeat, and yet try as he might to remain cool and detached when dealing with the sorceress he couldn't help the rush of fear and longing that gripped his heart when he touched her.  
  
Her skin, which only a few hours ago felt so hot it burned, was now unnaturally cool, almost as if somehow her blood had been removed and exchanged for liquid nitrogen. With a cautiousness that Squall tried to convince himself was normal for these procedures, he slowly rolled her onto her back and shakily forced her open, unblinking eyes shut against their will. Not that having closed eyes was necessary, but he couldn't help himself. Her gaze was too much for him to bear as she simply stared at him with shock, pain, and disappointment written all over her face. It was more than scaring him to see her like that and for a second or two he actually thought of rushing to the bathroom for a bag to put over her head before he continued on. But he had too much respect for her to realistically consider such a degrading option. She was too beautiful to be hidden from view for even a second.  
  
Trying not to notice how badly his hands were shaking, Squall's feather- light touch traveled down from her closed eyelids, to her soft cheeks and onto her neck where her mother's wedding band and his griever were settled comfortably in the groove between her collarbones. He smiled unconsciously when his fingers found the delicate, dull silver and platinum rings.  
  
He loved this part of her. Her neck, he decided last night, was his favorite area of her entire body. Maybe if things were different, if they had woken up together on a normal morning, in a normal atmosphere he could have had time to voice this ridiculous discovery of his. She would giggle as she usually does when he says something so stupid, and then kiss him lightly and lovingly, eventually running her hands through his hair as she had a habit of doing. Then they would make love, talk a little and make love again until some other random, everyday appointment would force them to part, their separation only building up their hunger for each other until they met again at night.  
  
A perfect, normal life.  
  
Squall's smile disappeared as quickly as it appeared as he arduously retracted his wandering fingers that were beginning to involuntarily trace her collarbone.  
  
A normal life? That was too much to ask for the all mighty Squall Leonhart. He didn't know why he even bothered dreaming about such fantastical things.  
  
Saving the world he could do any day.  
  
But wanting to share a simple modest home with the woman he loved? Impossible. Outrageous! Downright crazy.  
  
He sighed while his hand still hovered above her sleep-like form daring to continue its timid explorations, for purely scientific reasons of course. But he dare not touch her again, not if he wanted to get out of this whole ordeal with his heart in one piece.  
  
His fingers slowly balled themselves into a fist and kept their distance. Squall, meanwhile, noticed that no matter how he looked at her, the sight of her limp body with almost no sign of life would constantly phase his attention. He stood up briskly and turned his back to her, trying to regulate his breathing to some sort of normal pace. It was impossible to even glance at her let alone get past piles of security with her in his arms. He needed something, ANYTHING for reassurance that what he was doing was indeed, not a mistake.  
  
Said reassurance presented itself in the form of an accident. Despite his deranged attempts to keep completely silent while making his exit, in a moment of anxiety Squall managed to hit a strategically placed end table that began to wobble as he passed, threatening to spill it's fragile contents. He only noticed it after the first trinket (a small glass compass) shattered loudly on the floor.  
  
"Shit. . !" he whispered, diving to catch the teetering furniture before it caused any further damage. It was his vigilant paranoia that worked against him, for in chancing a glance to make sure his drunken, unconscious professor was indeed still worthy of that title, he missed the opportunity to avoid a racket. His attention divided one time too many and not being used to his dorm being in such disarray, Squall managed to trip over the removed desk drawer that Rinoa had upended when searching for a spare key card, the impact of which sent him flailing forward.  
  
Not only did he fail in saving the table but, in an attempt to catch himself he managed to grab onto an already unstable pile of duffle bags filled with clanking metal equipment which further fell over, hit a tall pile of small boxes the top one of which spilled it's fragile contents onto the desk, shattering with impact and sending piles of papers and thousands gil flying about the room.  
  
The noise seemed endless. The metal would keep shifting, the glass still tinkled and the vast number of paper money bills made slight 'swooshing' sounds as they landed, carefully, wherever the breeze took them.  
  
And in the middle of it all, his heart beating faster than he ever remember, sat the Squall Leonhart: klutz extraordinaire, wincing every time he heard something move, his eyes wide and frightened, fixed on Quistis.  
  
She groaned once.  
  
He held his breath.  
  
She rolled over to face him.  
  
He felt every muscle in his body tighten.  
  
And that was it. Her face, with its eyes thankfully closed, still maintained its expression of deep and peaceful slumber. This woman could officially sleep through anything. He let out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding.  
  
And people wondered why he always kept his living areas so painfully neat. Exhibit A: THIS is what happens to few times he let it get out of hand.  
  
That was when he heard it. A soft 'clunk' as something relatively light and non-metallic hit the floor to the right of him having fallen off the desk. With no longer any fear of waking his practically comatose ex-instructor, Squall peered curiously at the small black velvet box that lay lopsided by his thigh.  
  
He knew what it was immediately, not only by its shape but also by the deep sense of relief he felt upon hearing it fall from the moneybag. His fingers were, for once, steady as he picked it up and gently pried it open.  
  
The ring. . .  
  
He had forgotten about it in the ensuing chaos of last night. He would have loved to see her face when he presented it to her, knowing perfectly well that marriage was constantly on the mind of any woman in a long-term relationship once arriving at the acceptable age. They were meant to be, they both realized that long ago. Making it official was only a matter of time.  
  
Gingerly removing the ring from its plush environment, Squall grasped it tightly in his palm and dared to bring Rinoa into his field of vision. Of course, she was in the exact position that he had left her in; on her back, arms crossed daintily in her lap, eyes closed yet still with a pained expression.  
  
She looked dead to tell the truth. He almost expected a mortician to walk in at any moment and immediately attempt mold her features into something more peaceful-like. Not that he'd let anyone dare touch her.  
  
No longer caring about the noise, or his deadline, or anything, Squall hesitantly picked his way closer, crawling on his hands and knees while roughly shoving obstacles in his path to the side. Once kneeling by Rinoa's side, he no longer felt afraid or ashamed of her rigid and pale body. With a gentleness he once thought impossible, he softly brushed a few stray hairs away from her white cheek.  
  
Her beauty could bring a grown man to tears and capture his attention for days simply to gawk at. But he had other things to do today. Later there'd be more than enough time for staring. Now he reached behind her neck, searching clumsily for the clasp to her necklace. Against his palms he felt her almost unnoticeable pulse, the beating of her heart so soft that even a legitimate doctor would swear on his profession that she was dead. But Squall knew better. In a few days she would wake, a little weak from her entire system being paused for a while but, in all other instances, more healthy than when she first went under the influence.  
  
Finally he found the clasp and discreetly added the diamond ring to her collection, pushing it down the chain until it rested with the others.  
  
Perfect.  
  
Now for step 2.  
  
Squall cleared away as much glass as he could from the surrounding area, not wanting her to wake up in the same groggy and pained state as Quistis would obviously be experiencing in few hours. He placed one arm underneath the bend of Rinoa's knees and the other under her back then lifted her easily into his arms. She was very limp and her head kept falling back despite his efforts to make her look as natural as possible.  
  
She was simply a passed out party-goer being carried home by her protective boyfriend. . .  
  
Yeah Right. The only people who would believe that would have to be blind.  
  
So, his only hope of getting out would be to not be seen.  
  
That was easy enough. . .  
  
If you were invisible.  
  
But, still, not impossible considering that it was 5:45 AM. The few faculty members awake at this hour simply stood at the entranceway to the recreational areas, and every student knows that they're pretty much asleep on their feet. The students themselves definitely wouldn't be near the parking lot. Even if they were sneaking out, they'd use their windows or walk out the front entrance. And the older SeeDs? They were the most difficult to figure out since they haven't ANY limitation unlike the cadets. He'd simply have to coast on the hope that they'd all be either sleeping, away on missions, or in their offices. With enough stealth, it was probably manageable.  
  
Then came a knock on the door.  
  
Squall almost dropped Rinoa in shock.  
  
Who would come to his door at this hour?  
  
Selphie and Irvine? No they'd make more noise than that.  
  
Zell? No, he went "to find a REAL party" which was his code phrase for visiting his mother.  
  
Cid checking up on them? That made the most sense. It was a polite knock, one that only a respectful or scared man would make.  
  
Cid was outside his door. What could he do? Hide Rinoa? No, that wouldn't work. Be silent, still and not answer? But what if he had heard the noise and thus came to check? But aren't the walls soundproof? Wasn't there this whole inner debate about that very same subject a few minutes ago?  
  
Squall shook his head to clear it of its rotating disputes and quickly voted on opening the door. He had to act natural after all.  
  
Carefully he laid Rinoa on the bed, next to a drooling, snoring Quistis, and then prudently approached the door.  
  
The knock came again. Louder this time.  
  
Squall took a deep breath and made sure to wipe the sweat off his palms before he unlocked the door and opened it a crack in what he hoped was a natural manner.  
  
"Yes?" he interrogated his harasser, staring at his polished shoes and trying to mask the creaking in his voice.  
  
"I'm sorry sir but I. . .' The man paused for a second and Squall could practically feel his eyes scanning him from head to toe. A security cadet (of course), shocked possibly by running into THE Squall Leonhart? His voice was definitely not that Cid Kramer at least. From what he could tell by staring at his feet, this man was young. . .and very tall.  
  
*Cadet. . .Not Cid. WOOHOO!* (To borrow a line from Selphie). Squall was so relieved that he was almost smiling when he finally brought his attention to the man's face. Only then did nausea hit.  
  
*As if my day could get any worse. . .*  
  
Seifer. . .THE Seifer Almasy stood before him now. Grinning form ear to ear, arms crossed smugly across his chest.  
  
"Well well well commander. Fancy running into you of all people here."  
  
It was a touching reunion. 5 seconds in and Squall already felt like punching him.  
  
"There's nothing 'fancy' about it. I live here." *And what kinda prick uses the word 'fancy'?*  
  
"You live here!?" Seifer feigned shock and stepped back a few paces "I'm sorry sir but I do not recognize you as a member of the elite SeeD. Seeing as such, I have every right to arrest you for trespassing."  
  
Squall rolled his eyes and tapped his fingers impatiently on the doorframe, still being careful that the door didn't open any more than necessary. "You? Arrest me? For being in MY dorm during night hours? Aren't you supposed to be rotting in jail?"  
  
"And aren't you suppose to be pledging for endangered species, helping old women cross the street, and going door to door selling those delicious SeeD cookies?" He laughed as Squall simultaneously sighed in annoyance. " Not all of us are meant to do what we're told."  
  
He remembered now. A meeting, about 4 months ago. Cid had warned him about the results of Seifer's trial, and to be on the guard about his escaping for revenge. For the first week or so, Squall and the headmaster kept on their toes, not bothering to alarm the others yet still remaining cautious. It got old after a while since Trabia had yet to report any odd behavior and the expected bodies had yet to turn up. Gradually, it faded from both their memories.  
  
"You're on parole. Congratulations. But if you're looking for some big, 'romantic' fight to the death, can it wait a few more months? I'm kinda busy."  
  
Seifer laughed at this, a huge hearty laugh that Squall didn't remember hearing since they were kids and were having one of their infamous one- sided fight which comprised of Squall taking brave yet unsubstantial swings while Seifer beat the hell outta him. "I would take you up on that offer, if I wasn't for the fact that I came to your room by pure accident, you just happen to be the only one either present or alive on this entire floor."  
  
"How do you know I'm the only one here?'  
  
"Ah, you see it takes much genius to figure out as much." He leaned in closer, pretending his next words were a big secret. "Me walking. Me hear loud crashing noise. Me brilliantly conclude that room with noise contains people."  
  
*Damn cheap Balamb construction. Soundproof my ass!*  
  
"You're being awful secretive commander." Seifer said slyly, having no shame in trying to peer over Squall's head and into the room "With all that noise, it makes a guy wonder what you're hiding in there". Instinctively, Squall stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind him with lightening speed. He wouldn't even try bringing Rinoa out if he knew they still had the patrol going around.  
  
Seifer had a witty remark on the tip of his tongue, Squall could tell by the way his face grinned, if possible, even more widely. But seeing as time was an issue, he decided that pulling rank and a few small threats couldn't hurt in this situation. Screw morality.  
  
"Isn't your parole conditional Seifer?"  
  
The grin dissolved instantly and his arms once again crossed in front of his chest; typical Seifer defensive mode. "So what?"  
  
"Which means that if you do anything to piss off a superior, he or she can send you back kicking and screaming into that vile dank hell hole named the Desert Prison." His adversary's gaze dropped to the ground and his feet began shuffling uncomfortably. "Do you want to go back there Seifer? Then please, continue harassing me and I'll go make that phone call."  
  
"You wouldn't."  
  
"Try me." It was Squall's turn to grin arrogantly for once in his life. "Just leave this floor quickly and quietly, go back to Trabia immediately and maybe I wont have you arrested."  
  
"Hey, I'm just doing my job! You can't threaten a harmless Trabian security officer. Why it would be unjust and authoritarian! I'm on the road to recovery!"  
  
"And if you want to continue living and recovering then I suggest you leave."  
  
"Whoa! Hostile are we? Someone had a bad night. Wanna tell me about it?"  
  
*URRGGG!!!* Squall was beginning to think that maybe just getting his gunblade out would be a faster way to end this conversation. Why was Seifer stalling so long anyway? Surely whatever access card he acquired for this job would expire within the next 5 minutes, or he'd be trapped in the elite floor until someone let him out.  
  
"Why are you looking for a SeeD anyway?"  
  
"Why did you resign as Commander?"  
  
Squall paused, temporarily put off track by such direct and random interrogation. But the shock at such assertive intervention in his personal business quickly turned to anger. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"  
  
Seifer merely shrugged in his increasingly annoying manner "An eye for an eye. A question for a question. It makes sense when you think about it. Besides, you may as well practice your answer since as soon as you step outside there's about 50 million reporters wanting to know the same thing."  
  
Reporters. . .right. He forgot about them. During big events they were usually camped out around the whole Garden, watching with extreme vigilance to catch departing celebrities. How was he supposed to get out now?  
  
*Get rid of Seifer first, then worry about the other obstacles.* "If you must know. . . I made a mistake."  
  
Seifer obviously wasn't buying it. "A mistake? You bitch at your superior officer in front of the world and it was all a mistake?"  
  
"I. . ." Time was running out. He couldn't stand here all day making excuses especially when they're as stupid as this. "Whatever." He mumbled, fishing his keycard out of his pocket and turning back towards the door.  
  
"Whatever?. . .I disappear for an entire year and you STILL have yet to improve your vocabulary skills."  
  
"Seifer do me a favor, shut up and go away, you shouldn't be on this floor anyway. You're shift ends in 2 minutes." In his haste to get back in his room he was swiping the keycard too fast and the code refused to register. *I hate technology*  
  
"Trust me 'commander'" he chuckled a little at the title as Squall finally got the door open and tried to discreetly slip inside through the minimal gap "I do know my schedule. But first I have to find Quistis. She's not in her room for some reason."  
  
He only got his first leg over the threshold when he froze. Quistis?  
  
"Why do you want to see Instructor Trepe?"  
  
"Because."  
  
"Because?! In case you didn't know, that excuse expires once you pass kindergarten."  
  
"Yeah." Seifer shifted his eyes nervously, suddenly fascinated with the ceiling molds.  
  
"So. . .?" he gestured for him to continue, becoming and more and more irritated by the minute. The ex-knight just continued to the transfer his weight from one foot to another, muttering to himself from behind his hand.  
  
"What?. . ."  
  
"*incoherent mumbling*"  
  
"I can't hear you."  
  
"*more incoherent mumbling*"  
  
"Screw this." Squall somehow managed to twist the rest of his body back through the small gap (as far as he dared open his door) and was about to close it in his face when Seifer's strong arm flew out and caught it before it slammed.  
  
"Alright! Geez you have no patience."  
  
"And you find that surprising?"  
  
"If you absolutely MUST know I. . ." he scratched the back of his neck nervously and did a quick scan of the surrounding floor before continuing "I temporarily misplaced my key card."  
  
Missing key card? High Security gets special short term access don't they? Suddenly Squall became interested is his ex-rival's problem since it may have been the cause of one of his.  
  
"Was it all-access?"  
  
Seifer dropped his head like a little kid shamed for getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Yes. . ."  
  
"Leave it to you to loose one of those."  
  
"Yes yes. I know I'm an idiot. But this is a fucking big deal! Not only am I screwed if I don't return it by the end of the night to my team leader, but I'm also positive that by now its time has run out and I couldn't even get out of here to report to him even if I had the damn piece of plastic! I HATE TECHNOLOGY!"  
  
*Well, we have one thing in common: Hate*  
  
Squall, trying not to laugh at Seifer's ridiculous predicament, nor ponder what the hell Quistis had to do to get that key off of him, decided to screw secrecy for the time being. According to his watch it was three minutes past six and seeing as he never expected to see the Trabian cadet again, who cared what he saw.  
  
"Wait here." He ordered, right before flinging the door open as wide as it could go, exposing his "terrible" secret to the man he trusted least in the world. Seifer, of course, his mind too focused on gawking, had yet to make some crude comment about the situation he now found himself in.  
  
Two women, both who he himself had lusted after at some point in his life were now rested comfortably on the bed of a man he once swore would be a virgin till he died. Of course, he didn't expect him to live very long once going up against Edea, himself AND Ultimecia. But seeing THIS!. . .  
  
He never knew he had it in him.  
  
He was still staring at the women even as Squall confidently strode up to Quistis, pried something rectangular and plastic from her hand and returned to the threshold, offering him his missing keycard.  
  
But Seifer didn't take it. He didn't even move. . . just kept staring into the room: The source of all things odd and unnatural.  
  
"There you go" Squall had to shove the card in his face to get him to notice it. "Take it. . ."  
  
Seifer didn't move.  
  
". . .Anytime now."  
  
After a minute or so he gave up on getting his attention and simply put the card in the breast pocket of Seifer's uniform jacket, though that did nothing to divert his attention. Something about two beautiful women, flushed and exhausted, lying on a bed that takes a guy a while to look away. "Thank you and please DO NOT come again."  
  
He was about to close the door but this time he made the mistake of letting it open a little TOO wide, thus allowing Seifer to easily step in and stopper its path with his foot. "Wait a minute! I'm sure there's a riveting story here. You can't just leave me hanging?"  
  
"That was the plan."  
  
"But seriously. You know if I caught ANY other male in this exact situation I'd give him a pat on the back. . .but you. . ." he stopped for a few seconds, once again scanning the area to make sure that it all wasn't some sick hallucination. "You understand why I'm freaked out right?"  
  
Squall didn't bother to answer his question, he was too angry that this man had so little respect for people that he thought it right to just barge into their homes and comment on their lifestyle. Even if it was what his deluded little mind supposed, the Commander's doings were still none of his business. "You have your card Mr. Almasy." He roughly kicked the kneecap of the leg which held the door open, remembering what Zell had taught him about hand to hand combat and which areas do the most damage.  
  
"AHH!!" Seifer screamed, clutching his knee in pain. "YOU SON OF A. . .!" He staggered out the doorway, and finally Squall was able to slam the door on his face, like he had been trying to do for the past 10 minutes.  
  
"Finally. . ." he whispered to no one in particular, leaning back against the wall and taking a well deserved gulp of air. For a moment he forgot about everything to be done that day and simply enjoyed the pleasures of breathing. Then Quistis sneezed, interrupting the blissful silence and reality was forced upon him once again.  
  
Quistis. Right. . .he couldn't just leave her here. After all was said and done she could get into a lot of trouble if and when she was found in his dorm. He needed to get her back to her room. . .but how?  
  
"I think you broke my leg ASSHOLE!!"  
  
Almasy. . .still outside waiting.  
  
And his walls were very much not sound proof.  
  
Figures. Hyne was not smiling upon him today.  
  
Suppressing a groan, Squall pulled the door open once more and yanked him (who was still rubbing his leg) inside the small dorm. Seifer, for whatever reason, didn't seem surprised but gingerly sat down on one of the few remaining chairs, pulled up his pant leg and began to examine his kneecap, which seemed perfectly fine in Squall's eyes. He hadn't hit him THAT hard. . .at least he hadn't meant to. Right?  
  
"Seriously! It's gotta be dislocated or something. You got any ice?"  
  
"You are such a baby."  
  
"Hey! Give me a shot at you and THEN you can bitch to me bout being a sissy."  
  
"I need a favor"  
  
"Well I kinda figured. But I must warn you, I know I'm attractive but I'm sorry to say I'm not into any of that girl on girl and guy on guy stuff. It's just unnatural you know?" He paused for a moment to consider his what he just said. "Actually, girl on girl sounds sorta interes. . ."  
  
"Please do not finish that sentence and I will pretend that you have said nothing this entire time. Clear?"  
  
Seifer nodded exasperatedly then slowly began to pull his pant leg back down, wincing every time he touched his knee. Squall couldn't help but roll his eyes at the pathetic-ness of this grown man. You'd think jail would toughen a guy up?  
  
"I need you to take Quistis back to her dorm." Seifer seemed to consider this, wasting precious seconds obviously trying to figure out a way to work this deal to his advantage.  
  
"And in return, what do I get?  
  
"Your card expired remember? Unless you want to wander around the hallways for the next three hours waiting for your team leader to kick your ass, you're gonna need an A-rank SeeD access card. Am I right?"  
  
"Right. . ." Seifer scowled, drowning the hope of a reward that was little more gratifying than the opening of a door.  
  
"Quistis should have her keycard in her room." Squall continued, ignoring his expression of disappointment "bring her back to her dorm, drop her on the couch, get her card and head out IMMEDIATELY."  
  
"Ohh. . .So it's like a bad video game? Your mission is to get the damsel in distress home safely and then you can move on the area 2?"  
  
"It can be whatever the hell you're sick mind wants it to be."  
  
"Sweet! I get to be the designated driver? This totally makes up for you breaking my knee." His tone was dripping with sarcasm, which the commander failed to appreciate.  
  
"For Hyne's sake I didn't break your knee! Get over it!"  
  
"Says the man with both kneecaps intact."  
  
"You! . .You're so. . .URG!"  
  
"And you're very articulate. I could sue ya know!"  
  
"Just get her out of here. No questions. And we'll never have to talk to each other again after today."  
  
"That's fine by me commander puberty/abusive."  
  
He walked towards the bed with an exaggerated limp glaring at Squall over his shoulder as he made his was towards Quistis and tried to decide whether to wake her up or carry her. The beautiful blonde was now sweaty and red- faced, obviously beyond drunk. You'd think that she would have given it up after her horrible embarrassing sickness a few hours prior, but apparently she replenished her bodily supply.  
  
*Squall must throw one hell of a dorm party* he thought while slipping his arm underneath Quistis' knees, trying to judge whether his "wounded" leg could handle her weight. This is the second time in one night he ended up with her in his arms *Hey Deja Vu*.  
  
As he tried to organize his ex-instructor into some kind of useful position, Seifer couldn't help but chance a glance at Rinoa. Hyne dammit she was still one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen, and he had seen many. In that form fitting blood red dress and her dark, wet hair cascading all over the pillow, he felt that familiar longing rise up in his heart once more. The first girl he had ever loved, and she was beyond perfect . . .Squall was a lucky man indeed.  
  
He stared at her for a while longer. Luckily Leonhart was too busy fussing about the room gathering things to notice his rival's examination. Unlike Quistis, Rinoa was neither sweaty nor red. Just pale, white as snow in fact. . .in deep contrast to her raven hair and red lips. Being of the male species Seifers gaze 'unintentionally' *cough* lowered to her torso, lingering on the swell of her breasts above her dress. . .which didn't move.  
  
He was confused for a second, thinking that maybe his vision paused. Was it just a trick of the mind or was Rinoa not. . .breathing?  
  
He watched her for a full minute, expecting any second for her to take a huge heaving inhale of air and her chest would once again swell up and down rhythmically.  
  
But no.  
  
Not after one minute, nor the next.  
  
Seifer took a deep breath and glanced quickly at Squall, making sure he was still preoccupied before turning his attention back to his ex-girlfriend and reaching a shaking hand to her neck, pressing two fingers gently to her throat. She didn't have a pulse.  
  
*Oh my Hyne.*  
  
He quickly snatched his hand back as if worried she would awake undead and bite him. Squall saw him then, the quick movement of his retracting hand caught the SeeD's attention and he instantly leapt into action.  
  
"Don't touch her!" he screamed forcefully, pulling Seifer away by the back of his collar, choking him in the process. With one swift jerky movement Seifer wrenched himself from the knights grasp, no longer trusting him with his back turned.  
  
"What the fuck did you do to her Squall?!" He gestured towards Rinoa with trembling hands.  
  
"She's none of you're concern Almasy." He spoke lowly, dangerously and Seifer for the first time, was genuinely afraid. This was not the little kid he used to pick on. This was THE Squall Leonhart. . .the one he read about in newspaper articles. The strongest, most cunning and fearsome man in the world.  
  
"We may not be friends anymore but for Hyne's sake look at her! She's not breathing. Why don't you call for some fucking help!!"  
  
"I told you before I let you in: no questions remember?"  
  
"That was before I found my ex-girlfriend dead on your furniture."  
  
"Trust me."  
  
Seifer shook his head and backed away further, stumbling over several random articles as he moved but not daring to turn his back on Squall. "Trust you? You expect me to trust you?"  
  
"Yes. . .Trust me. Please."  
  
There was something in the "heartless" commander's tone that made Seifer pause. He sounded sincere, weakened and exasperated . . .desperate even. His reputation was all he had and now, to reveal such vulnerability to his childhood bully of all people, that proved some sort fragile hopelessness lingered which depended solely on his actions.  
  
Seifer sighed and admitted defeat. Believe it or not, he did have a lot of respect for Squall and trusted him more than he did some of his closest friends. He sure as hell would't leave his cash alone with Rajin, or bother to tell Fujin a secret. If there was one thing he knew about Squall Leonhart it's that he was honest.  
  
Hoping against hope that he wouldn't regret his actions later, Seifer risked stepping a bit closer to Squall, and pressed himself on the edge of the bed. He then easily lifted sleeping Quistis into his arms, trying hard not to let his gaze wander to the sorceress and then confidently strode out of the room and disappeared down in the hallway.  
  
No questions asked.  
  
Thank Hyne.  
  
Two obstacles now out of his way. Several hundred more to go. Squall turned towards Rinoa and sighed, bending down to capture her in his arms and gently lifted her from her resting position. He stared the open door as if it were the gateway to hell. It may as well have been.  
  
"For you Rinoa," he whispered as he apprehensively stepped over the threshold and into the deserted hallway "I'll do anything."  
  
~*~  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Believe it or not I actually had this chapter written over 2 months ago. . .all clean and edited and ready for postage. But then there was the end of year exams, graduation, prom, parties, a 3 week trip to Spain (my new favorite country), returning after a 26 hour flight (damn weather delays) only to start my new summer job at Starbucks the next day (I officially hate coffee) and finally, just when I figured that I was settled in enough to get back into my regular routine of Final Fantasy AMV making and fanfiction writing.I get the news that one of my best friends, Sabrina (who has been rarely well enough to come to school these past three months) passed away after a half-year struggle with brain cancer. . .  
  
She was one day from turning 17. After all the excitement of Prom and graduation, the last thing my classmates and I thought we'd be doing at the end of high school was burying a friend. Needless to say fanfiction seemed to be of minor importance these past weeks. Especially since, during the years when she was well enough to read, Sabrina not only put up with my video game rambling, but sometimes helped edit my chapters which were in dire need of help.  
  
Anyway, I've since come to realize that sitting in my room moping was doing nothing to improve my life. And my writing and other hobbies now seem more important than ever. I hope to finish this entire story before the year is out, since this was just a tester fic I now know what to base my next one on which will be ten times better and I'm eager to start it.  
  
Next chapter 'The Promise' will be out soon. Thank You. 


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